Chapter 3

CASSIE

Scanning my eyes, this cafe was not so crowded roughly this time but at eleven, students would begin to occupy seats for their business.

“So, that’s it? He stormed out of your room?” Sasha asked, laughing. She knew everything about Jake. She was my best friend.

“No. He stormed out of the house.” I sighed, leaning my chin on the book I had no interest in reading. Jake got mad and left me despite my pleas and apologies. His anger even boiled within reason when I couldn’t stop staring at his saluting soldier inside his sweatpants.

“Seriously, Cass, you’re like stuck in this endless loop of emotional ping pong. Why don’t you give up? Jake is not for you. Yes, he’s hot, but there are other guys. Look at Carl. Give him a date already. He’s handsome.”

“He’s just a friend. Carl is a good man. I can’t give him false hope. That won’t be fair to him.”

“Yet, you’re keeping false hope yourself. Don’t force yourself on Jake. You’ll only get hurt. That night you cried your heart out, did he come back? You called him, did he even answer you? He sees you as his little sister. Nothing more than that.”

“You’re hurting me with those words, Sasha.” I closed my eyes, shaking off the fact that she was right. It had been a week since that attempt. “But unless I heard it from him that he doesn’t want me, can’t love me, can’t imagine a future with me, then I’ll give up.”

Sasha sighed sharply, her eyes rolling to the roof. “I’m not hurting you. It’s just that the truth hurts.” She opened her MacBook, getting engrossed with her project. “Love is complicated, but it’s even harder when love is unrequited.” She said.

The pages I had studied must have been absorbed in my brain, that I hoped, or at least that’s what I tried to convince myself as I stumbled into the kitchen. The clock on the wall mockingly declared it was half past nine in the evening. A groan escaped my lips – the week of emotional ping pong had left me more drained than a week of all-nighters.

As I fumbled through the cupboards, hoping for a miraculous caffeine fix, Rosa strolled into the kitchen. “Everything okay?”

I hummed a yes. “Do we still have the Devil’s brew, Rosa?”

She handed me a mug.“You should drink milk instead.”

“Have to study all night. I need caffeine.” But the smell of milk invaded my nostrils. She was quick to prepare me milk.

“Caffeine in the daytime, milk in the night time.”

I managed a weak smile. She always used her motherly tone when she wanted no argument. “Yes, Ma’am.”

She smiled, satisfied, and opened the fridge to arrange the stuff inside as I turned to leave. “Jake dropped by this morning.”

That halted my steps. “He was here this morning?”

“Brought you these passion fruits from Japan. These are your favorite.”

“That’s kind of him,” I faked enthusiasm. “I want that juice in the morning, Rosa,” and continued to walk back to my room. He was avoiding me and that hurt, a knot of emotions that tightened in my chest that I couldn’t escape.

I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what the heck was it about me that he couldn’t find attractive. My long light brown hair – I kept it because he used to compliment me about how pretty I looked with it when I was young. It reached all the way down to my lower back, and yes, I’d trim it here and there, but nothing drastic.

I mean, come on, I wasn’t hideous. I wasn’t tall, but I wasn’t a pint-sized human either. Yet, compared to his skyscraper height, I barely reached his chest. It’s like I needed a step stool just to have a decent conversation.

But still, it made me wonder why. I knew I looked good but why? When he was avoiding me like the plague, I started analyzing every little detail. I became more insecure. I became my own detective, searching for the missing clue as to why Jake couldn’t want me...couldn’t love me.

I shook my head, frustrated, as if the mirror could magically answer my questions. I wished it could reflect the answers but all it showed was a girl with long hair and a whole lot of insecurities. I sighed, feeling sad.

I drank the milk before it got cold before grabbing the phone and sent him a message.

‘Thank you for the fruits. Always a gesture of goodwill, huh?’

‘When will you stop avoiding me?’

‘I was thinking of cutting my hair just now.’

No respond.

Before, when I tried to reach him, he’d reply with short responses, filtering out other messages that needed an answer. I used to spill my feelings and tell him how much I missed having him around. His responses? The epitome of brevity. A simple “take care” was thrown my way, like a verbal brush-off. It was the kind of reply you’d expect from a distant relative you’d see once a year, not someone who was supposed to be a significant part of your life.

The frustration bubbled up inside me, and I found myself typing heavily on the screen.

‘I will cut my hair! Like really short! And I will go on a date with Caleb.’

After sending it, I settled for a resigned sigh, locking my phone with a sense of defeat. I would go out with Caleb. He had been asking me on a movie date too. Carl was too nice, and Caleb was not close to me, Carl was. If this was one step to get over my feelings with Jake, I should try.

The next morning, I glanced at my phone, hoping for a response that never came. The screen remained stubbornly blank, with no reply from him. It was as if my message had vanished into the digital void, leaving me in a state of limbo.

I tried to brush it off, convincing myself that maybe he was just busy or hadn’t seen the message yet. But the nagging feeling persisted. He doesn’t care.

As the day went on, finishing three subjects, I found myself moving between moments of distraction and the ever-present undercurrent of anxiety. Each time my phone chimed with a notification, my heart skipped a beat, only to plummet when it turned out to be anything but a response from Jake.

In an attempt to distract myself, I threw myself into mundane tasks, going through some notes.

“Hello, beautiful,” Caleb greeted, sliding a drink onto my table as he took a seat across from me. His smile held a hint of anticipation. “Sasha’s not with you?” he inquired, eyes scanning the room as if expecting her to pop up at any moment.

“Nah, she’s in her last subject. I’m just holding the fort here,” I replied, giving a half-hearted shrug. The atmosphere felt lighter with Caleb around, and for a moment, I could almost forget the silent void.

Caleb leaned back, taking a casual sip of his drink. “So, tonight?” His eyes gleamed with expectation, and I could sense a subtle excitement in his voice. Caleb was undeniably attractive, and being two years older, he was a catch.

I chuckled, trying to match his energy. “Tonight sounds good. Any ideas?”

He looked surprised. He didn’t expect my answer. “No fucking way?

I laughed a genuine laugh since last week. “I’m serious, Cal.”

“You have a fever or something?” his brown eyes wide.

I laughed even harder. “I just realized I needed it,”

His gaze held mine for a beat longer than necessary, and I caught a flicker of something in his eyes. “I was thinking of catching that new action movie. What do you say?”

“Shoot,”

After texting Sasha that Caleb and I were on a movie date, she replied with a screaming emoji and I replied with a laughing emoji, one that cried in tears while laughing. She was at her part-time job at a coffee shop.

The movie would soon start, but Caleb had not returned yet. He had made a quick trip to the bathroom, saying that he hated getting disturbed in the middle of a movie. I was about to start to get worried when I finally spotted his familiar form emerging from the darkness. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I thought you’d miss the start of the movie. What took you so long?” I asked, trying to sound casual despite the twinge of concern.

Caleb grunted as he settled into his seat, letting out a sigh of relief. “I thought I lost my phone. Turned out I dropped it on the floor inside the bathroom cubicle.”

I chuckled. “You sure everything’s intact?”

He patted his pockets, feigning a look of panic before grinning. “All good. Crisis averted. Let’s enjoy the movie now, drama-free.” His grin widened.

And with that, the lights dimmed further and the movie started. But I sighed. I had been searching for something tonight—that same excitement in my stomach when I was around Jake, the thrill that crawled on my skin at his mere touch. I wanted to feel that.

And I hated myself because Caleb did not evoke those feelings. He should. He was handsome, and I had known him for a year now. He had been always clear with his intention that he liked me. I tried to convince myself that he was a great catch, the type of guy any girl would be lucky to have. Yet, as I sat there, a void lingered in my chest.

“What do you think so far?” Caleb asked, flashing a charming smile, showing his bunny-looking teeth that made him look more attractive when he smiled.

I managed a half-hearted nod, forcing a smile in return. “Yeah, it’s good.”

“We forgot the water? Are you thirsty?”

“No, no. No need. Coffee’s fine.” I said.

“Great,” he smiled softly, and then, he tried to stretch his hand over my shoulder.

My heart skipped at a subtle attempt, but I made no move. Instead, I leaned closer as I took a silent breath, convincing myself to play along. Caleb’s hand lingered on my shoulder. I expected the touch to send shivers down my spine. I waited, but it didn’t come.

Caleb, unaware of the emotional turmoil, stole glances at me, his eyes dark. “So, beautiful. Who hurt you?” his question made me look at him. “You think I don’t see it, do you?” to some, we must look so sweet whispering to each other.

“I’m not hurt,” I replied, leaning closer on his shoulder. “What makes you think so?”

“Your eyes won’t lie. They are sad. You’re not good at hiding your emotions. Tonight is actually one proof that you’re hurting. Why would you say yes to a date if you weren’t hurting inside?”

I sighed. He had been very observant. “It’s nothing, really. Just a rough patch. Everyone goes through it, right?”

Caleb raised an eyebrow. “Come on, don’t feed me that line. I’ve seen enough in life to recognize when someone’s hurting. And I want to help if you’ll let me.”

I forced a smile. “You’re sweet, Caleb. But really, I’m okay. Just needed a distraction. The movie, the company—it’s nice.”

He leaned back, studying my face, and I could almost sense his internal debate. “Distraction or not, it doesn’t change the fact that something’s bothering you.”

I shook my head, although I felt like spilling already. “I appreciate it, I do. But sometimes, it’s easier to pretend everything’s fine, you know? No need to make a big deal out of it.”

Caleb sighed. “Pretending might make it easier in the short run, but it won’t solve anything. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

I leaned in, planting a soft kiss on his cheek, my way of diverting the conversation. “You’re sweet, Caleb. Let’s just enjoy the movie, okay?”

But his gasp didn’t go unnoticed. “Did you just steal a kiss from me?”

Laughing, I pushed his face playfully when it got closer. “It was another distraction. I was trying to distract you away from my business.” We heard harsh shushing somewhere and I shut my mouth, giggling. “Let’s focus, shall we?”

“You want distraction? I’ll give you a real one.”

And before his words registered, Caleb sealed my lips with his. I was so shocked that I couldn’t move, frozen in the unexpectedness of his bold action. His hand firmly locked on the side of my face, angling me into a proper kiss that demanded a response.

For a heartbeat, my world stopped. The taste of coffee lingered on our lips, and the ambient sounds of the movie theater faded into the background. I felt a rush of conflicting emotions. Why am I doing this? Why am I letting him kiss me? Should I open my mouth? His tongue was trying to open my mouth.

With boldness, I responded to the kiss, throwing my arm around his neck, but just as I was about to open my mouth, his phone blasted with a loud sound that pulled us apart with a surprised jerk. Loud complaints around us followed. But what followed next made everyone gasp—

—Lewd sounds coming from his phone erupted in the theater!

‘Yes! Fuck my pussy harder! Harder!’

‘Yes!’ Yes!”

“What the hell!” Caleb panicked, working on his phone. “Shit!”

’It felt so fucking good! Right there! Right there, baby! Yes!”

No! I wished the whole theater would swallow me alive! I screamed in my head as I covered my face, but I gasped in surprise as a strong hand pulled me.

“Get up,” he said harshly.

"Jake?"