CHAPTER 1 (shut your eyes Jemi)

"...........and as the house occupants, we had every right knowing beforehand there was going to be someone joining us, not just hit out of the blue" Emma fumed Dragging the garbage bag out the door.

'Mmmm" came the reply...

Emma looked up. Her eyes fell on the boy beside the bed, folding the heaps of clothes scattered on the floor.

"You could just say you're tired of hearing me talk"

"You know Emma, this house got three rooms and we both know the reason you riled is the thought of fixing all these" he dropped a pile into a bag he was holding. Avoiding her blue glare

"Don't" she pointed a nail at him "do not tell me that again "

"Mmmmmmm"

She let out a loud wail "I wanted it to be just us" she dragged her hair back, retying it into a ponytail.

"Come on Emmy" Wills complained exhilarated "could we just focus on this. It won't be fair to her if she sees this... "He chose his words "mess" it came out with a chuckle

"How dare you " she longed at him snatching her gown from his hands "I just don't feel good having someone new in a place we've shared for a couple of years."

"You're whining again, just take the trash out" he resumed on the clothes

"Alright " she went back to dragging the bag, cursing and banging the door after her to create an effect.

Now outside she threw the bag in the bin clamping its metal cover shut, turning to look at The little home she and Will always shared since their first year at the university which was just a drive away, she felt sadness creeping into her. There was going to be another one, invading their little space, taking away the 'junk' room. She shrugged. That was her only rife

"Emmy" she heard Will call. Probably wondering why she was taking too long.

She had started going inside when she saw a white truck pull over stopping just in front of the house. She moved closer noticing it was carrying a bed.

Emma sighed just as a brown girl of just about the same age as her or maybe a year older came out of the front seat looking at the house. her jet black hair plaited in cornrows down her neck. She had an oval face and squinting eyes. her body was draped by a black hoodie on brown baggy joggers which was completed by a pair of black sneakers. She was fit and carried on an air of someone sure to make the best of decisions.

Emma watched her move to the back of the truck and then shouted something at the driver. Soon she was joined by the driver, a stocky man, probably in his late fifties. He freed opened the carrier and then shifted, letting her carry the bed which was covered with transparent leather. she held the bed carrying it up to the terrace. The man followed after her with the bags.

"That's how much? " she asked. Her voice echoed in Emma's ears. Low and dreamy.

The driver's grumbling had her digging into her pocket bringing out a few crumpled notes and handing them over to him. Still

grumbling the driver zoomed off leaving puffs of smoke after him.

The girl turned finally, taking in the house and her eyes met Emma's... Pale brown and fluid. Emma could bet she could swim in it.

"Hey. I'm Jemi"

**********************

Okay, firstly this doesn't look like an apartment someone could rent. But that was it right. *BLOCK 105*. It was just a big flat. Jemi felt heartbroken. This looked like a family house.

Her hands digging into her pocket she took in her environment, it was a nice one, clean with pure air.

Cold air.

It was February and the snow had stayed. anything colder than this was sure to make her breath freeze.

Bringing her focus back to the house, snow on its part, there were few stairs to get directly to the terrace. Then the entrance door still holds the Christmas decorations.

It was beautiful.

But she still regretted not checking the House before dropping her money.

You're just scared. The voice in her head began.

She shushed it up her eyes falling on the girl that stood close to the bin. Red-haired, petit and piercing gaze that couldn't stop staring at her.

"Hi, I'm Jemi," she said out of sheer courtesy and to stop the awkward moment.

The girl seemed shaken, " Emma" running her hand through her hair "you came in quite early the rooms still a.... "

The door shoved open and a boy came out almost trampling on the bags.

"What the fuck... " he was beginning angrily when his eyes fell on Jemi.

"And that's Will"

"Sorry I'll just get that " Jemi went over grabbing the two bags and moving into the house with Will after her.

"It's okay" he laughed nervously "it was quite a surprise seeing you move in this early. You see we didn't have enough time putting the place in order."

She dropped the bags on the floor. "This looks quite fine to me"

And it was. Three brown settees on a milky-coloured rug, a coloured TV at the far end. It screamed luxury. No way anyone schooling would ever afford that.

"I wasn't actually about this room but let me show you around the house"

"I'll get used to everything with time. I'll just like to see my place" she touched a brown settee.

"Oh sure," he suddenly looked relieved. Then nervous.

In a swift second she was directed.

Will swallowed "and this is your room."

Jemi walked into it. Taking it all in.

"Do I get to throw all the stuff in it?".

"No" the voice came from the doorway "they're mine"

Jemi turned. That was Emma

"Seems a lot for one person, you deal with junks"

"This isn't junk, We were on the verge of arranging before you came." to prove her point she packed some heaps and poured them into a bag.

Jemi watched her amused. She had removed her coat and her slender figure screamed through the gown she wore. She didn't seem small anymore.

"Actually " Will came to her rescue "we keep pieces of stuff we might use later here. We've been here a couple of years alone, so it just kinda blew around. We need a little time getting it fixed"

"I'll just go take a walk " Jemi headed to the exit.

"You might get lost, it's a new place" Will called after her.

"I'll hope not" she replied. then proceeded with the stomp outside.

"I don't like her"

"She seems cool to me"

"She called my stuff junk"

Will sighed "come on Emmy, you called it your 'junk room'" he emphasized.

"That's different " she protested "there's something off about her you know"

"Naaa I don't"

"She didn't even smile when she walked in and even turned down your offer to show her around"

"That was a burden off my back" he stopped " now if you will just help me with this load on my hands"

She stood up from the bed sheepishly.

"Aren't you a bit worried" she continued her rant purposely ignoring Will's groans. A thought swam through her head.

"Don't say it" Will pleaded

"What? " she shrugged innocently "but what if there is a mistake somewhere"

"What are you saying? "

"You don't even know her, we don't even know..."

"Seen her around school, she's always alone, her earpiece fixed. That's like a go-away to everyone "

Emma looked at him.

"You lying right".

"Why should I ?" he darted at her looking hurt. "Why are you so interested in her? "

Why was she so interested in her...she tried Thinking of a reasonable answer. Maybe she was just mad at her for calling her stuff junk. Or walking through the door and acting as if they weren't worth her time and interest. Which made her madder. She had wanted to catch her attention and all she had gotten was an amused stare. Her face could be empty, composed and collected. But those eyes, like a cup of coffee without milk, spelt out her emotions. Like Emma noted, disappointed when she saw the house, calculative when she was in the sitting room and calm when she saw her room that way.

"And you found all that out by looking into her eyes" Will gave a lopsided smile "noice"

"No No No" she began defensive

"no wha? "

"I know what you're thinking dummy"

"She's pretty "

"Didn't say she wasn't "

"She got airs"

Emma laughed "Some haughty one"

"Reason you've been ranting about her since she got here"

"Ewwwwww"

"Eww all you want, your cheeks matching colours with your hair"

Her hands flew to her cheeks.

"Lady..." Will resumed the drag out the door "You're finished"

Jemi turned her back to the entrance. Looking out the large window. There was something and she could just feel it, taste it. And she was going to find it. Then Shove it down Will's throat.

she scoffed.

Airs her foot.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

The surrounding wasn't bad. She wondered how it was going to look when the first rain dropped and the flowers blossomed filling each void with blasts of colours and life. Equaling its feel to that of a Malibu night. Magical, worth squatting and snatching it all in.

She sighed suddenly wishing she had worn more clothes.

The decision to move in was quite a hasty one.

not unexpected... Just that she had made her mind up at the last second count down.

Her therapists had made it a goal.

"You have to leave" the woman who had helped her for the past six months had said sternly.

Jemi remembered a slight chortle from her side "I might die of guilt, she needs me"

"You have to stop holding yourself accountable for the action of other people"

"Ion know "

The doctor had picked her usual jotting note Jemi had told her she liked.

"Let's talk about goals"

"That's a hard one" Jemi smiled.

"Anyone you got down there"

"Wrote a scholarship exam last week"

"You didn't tell me any of this? " her therapists had smiled widely

"Didn't seem like such a big deal, it's really hard to get in"

"Then why did you do it?

"Felt like a good idea at that time now it feels futile,"

"Least there's progress "

"I don't even know what progress is"

"How do you describe your typical everyday attitude? "

Jemi looked at her hands on her lap,

"Empty, lifeless, nothing matters, some days are worse than others but I could be stable" she chuckled "used to it"

"On those days what do you do to get you back up?"

"I paint on canvas it's not a relief but it gets my minds off other things"

"Like? "

She hesitated.

"Jemi you have to be open with me, I can't help if you're not"

She dropped her wrist on the table between them. Folded her hoodie up to her arm. "Was only a few slices," she ran her finger through the raw wounds on her left wrist"

"What did you use? "

"The shaving blade"

"It didn't touch a vein? "

"Naaa. " she straightened the sleeve. Her hands back on her lap "I was careful"

The woman dropped her jotting book. Removing her glasses and dropping them on the table. "What triggered that Jemi? "

"She set my stuff on fire, brought back a memory"

"You have to leave your mother, it's not your responsibility to bring her out of the mess she's in." she held her hand "that responsibility should be directed to yourself, I know you love her... "

"I don't. I just feel for her, she's gone through a lot that made her that... " she stumbled on her words "that"

"She owes you. not the other way round, she's toxic Jemi." She opened a drawer bringing out a card "there's an apartment for rent there. I'll talk to him, when you ready just call"

And she hadn't been ready until two weeks, two weeks of hell.

now as she ambled through the snow, she wondered what she had been in such a hurry for.

Bumping into people.

She looked into a frozen stream, seeing her reflection. Waving at it she said under her breath "hi, I'm Jemi"

★★★★★★★★★★★

It was some minutes past 9 when Emma heard the soft knock on the door. Her head was heavy from staying up waiting and the annoyance she had felt when Will left her alone claiming he had every right to because technically he was tired from cleaning up her 'mess space' compounded how she flung the door open.

"Hey" Jemi was standing at the terrace, holding some big sacks.

Moving aside she watched her back wile straight towards her room.

"You kept me up you know" Emma called after her.

Jemi turned the bag slipping just a bit so she could have a peek.

"It's just tools, not drugs" her voice though calm shook Emma.

she straightened her back. Trying to curb her dignity.

"That's a nice paint brush,"

Jemi looked at the bags "they are all oil paint" she frowned.

Emma swallowed

"And a paintbrush" Jemi completed turning to her room.

"OK. I was just curious" Emma followed

"I don't like curious people."

"Speak like you wouldn't be if someone you didn't know.... "

"Came into a house she rented bringing in bags? uhhh no" she opened the door "Sorry I didn't introduce myself"

"That was sarcasm, right? "Emma's brows creased "mind you, the only stuff you said was 'Hi I'm Jemi', how are we sure that's even your name'

"Firstly if I sounded like that I'll contemplate suicide" Jemi dropped the carrier "secondly do I look a bit like I care? "

Emma watched her pull the hoodie off, feeling a bit disappointed when a black long-sleeved, round-necked shirt came to view.

How the heck was she this calm. Emma could feel the heat up to her neck.

"It's great what you guys did here under the short notice "

"Oh my God"

Jemi looked up "What? "

"You compliment people? " her cynicism wasn't hidden. "And you're not dead? "

"Yeah" she sat on the bed pulling her sneakers off "like me thinking how much Will deserves a medal for putting up with you and your mess for how many years? "

"It's two years...and we're friends because we put up with each other, but you?" She flung her hands "I bet no one can stand you"

"You on your feet right? "

"Yeah, " she spat "because I can stand the fact that you were prolly kicked out bouncing out of your last home. "

Jemi laughed heartily. "Na I wasn't and aren't you tired though? " she pointed to herself "Cus I am"

Emma scrambled her brain for the last word and ended with "Goodnight " adding the much-needed venom to it.

Closing the door after her. She walked into her room she felt less satisfied than she hoped..holding her pillow close, she shut her eyes for a rough night.

★★★★★★★★★★★★

He was drifting, it wanted him, he could hear it calling, through his body.

"Let me in"

"NO. " he rolled on his belly. Hands flat on the bare floor, hair patched where it was pulled hard out of its scalp. He crawled on his belly to the kitchen, hitting his body against the counter. He could make out the knife on the rack. He tried standing up doubling over again.

"Let me in".

The voices, it was everywhere., he pushed his head against the cold tiled ground.

"You're hurting, let me help you. "

"YOU YOU, YOU'LL LEAVE"

He picked himself up, trying to stagger out of the hunted house. Trashing about.

"LEAVE ME ALONE. "

"STOP" the voice was no longer persuading.

He shrunk into himself shivering. Listening.

"I've always been with you, I have always used you. You cannot do without me"

"It hurts" he cried.

"Let me in. "The voice was back. Persuading sounding like thousands of moving waters "it won't hurt anymore, I will take it away, its a promise "

And slowly he felt himself give in, opening up, letting it possess him, feeling every space while he was shut down in his own body.

Two minutes later he stood up, taking in the blood-stained room, brushing his fingers under his nose, he looked at the blood with disgust.

Humans were a mess. Always loving the harder way to things. Would only give in if there was a promise of eternal rest.

He walked to the window, shutting it close to stop the wind.

He sat in front of the computer. Cleaning his hands in front of a table towel and threw it letting it land at its own will.

"Now let's see who's next...