Chapter 4

Lara via

I took a deep breath as I finished packing my clothes into two suitcases. This moment had been looming, and I had prepared for it. I understood the reality of the situation – he couldn't love me in the way I longed for. Yes, he cared for me, but it was a sibling love, not the romantic kind that echoed in my heart.

Despite the ache in my chest, I couldn't deny my feelings for him. It was a love that lingered, persistent even in the face of inevitable heartbreak. I realized that I couldn't continue down this path, allowing myself to be hurt repeatedly. The strength required to endure such unrequited love had waned, and I needed to find a way to move forward.

As I zipped up the suitcases, contemplating the weight of my decision, Kuya Lennox's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Are you sure about this, princess?" he asked, his concern evident. I turned to face him, a mix of determination and sorrow in my eyes.

"I have to," I replied, my voice steady.

"You've been trying to pull me back, to stop my futile pursuit of his affection. It's time to step away; continuing this will only cause more pain. I'm hurting, and I can't keep fighting a losing battle." He sighed, understanding the gravity of the situation.

"Don't worry about me, my older brothers. I'll be okay in Europe." I had been planning to go there for a while, but my infatuation with their friend had kept me rooted in the Philippines. Now, it was time to leave. My parents and grandmother were in Europe, and they wanted me to join them, a way to distance myself from the heartache that had consumed me.

As I closed the door behind me, I couldn't help but feel a mix of sadness and relief. The path to healing was uncertain, but I knew that stepping away from the source of my pain was the first crucial step. Europe awaited, offering a chance for a fresh start and the opportunity to mend the fragments of my wounded heart.

We're just concerned, Princess. Always take care."

"Sure, my brother." I gave them a wide and sweet smile to assure them but they still don't look like convince.

"What about Aiden?" I paused, closing my suitcase after Kuya Logan's comment. I don't know; I just need to focus on healing and erasing it from my system. I want to be happy, tired of chasing, and there are guys who deserve love more.

"Let's not talk about him." I heard them sigh as they doubted my suitcase and placed it in the car. Now, I'm in the backseat with my brother Landon. Brother Lennox is driving, and my brother Logan is in the passenger seat.

"What?" I wondered if they were looking at each other.

"D*mn! Are we caught up in the two of you?"

"You both look like a mess!"

"I think you really need time for yourselves. Maybe it wasn't the right time for both of you."

"Yeah, we're not in the right time, and we're not meant for each other. Someday, we can also find the person who is really for us," I confessed, noting the sadness in their eyes before Kuya Lennox took the driver's seat. The flight remained quiet until we reached the airport, and an air of silence enveloped us.

"So, I think this would be the last time, my brothers that I will see your handsome faces. Thank you for taking care of me. I will really miss you!" I couldn't hold back the tears as I observed the three of them with tears glistening in their eyes. I was certain that I would miss the cherished moments we spent together. Their infrequent visits to Europe due to business in the Philippines always made our time together special.

"T-tsk, stop being dramatic!" I chuckled, breaking the tension, remembering Kuya Logan as the more serious one among them. Lennox's older brother discreetly wiped away a tear, and we all burst into laughter, momentarily lifting the emotional atmosphere. It was a bittersweet farewell, but I was grateful for the bond we shared.

Let's group hug, guys!" They gathered around me, their arms embracing me tightly, and I couldn't help but moan at the painful realization of losing them. Unsure whether to glance back, I noticed a familiar figure in the dark side of the airport. My heart skipped a beat as I recognized his face.

Aiden!

He wore a blue hoodie – the same one I had gifted him for my birthday. I thought he had discarded it, as he once told me. My moan grew louder as I saw him turning around, his shoulders shaking.

Is he crying? Why?

"We will miss you, Princess," my three older brothers expressed, each giving me a kiss on the forehead. As I started to walk away, tears streamed down my face. I couldn't bear to witness vulnerability in front of them. Clutching my chest, I felt the pain intensifying, wondering how I could move forward without them by my side.

The pain was excruciating, engulfing me in an overwhelming wave of sorrow at the most inopportune moment. Love, an emotion so powerful, had become a double-edged sword, cutting through the fabric of my being.

As I navigated the desolate roads, the plane of my car seemed to decelerate of its own accord, the mechanical whirring echoing the melancholy in my heart. It was then that I felt a tight embrace enveloping me from behind, a desperate attempt to shield me from the anguish that threatened to consume. Through the sobs that resonated in the confined space, I recognized the voice – a voice that had once uttered my name with such tenderness.

"Aggape," he choked out, a fond memory etched in those syllables. I reminisced about the first time he had called me Agape, a name that filled me with joy on my fifteenth birthday. The recollection swept over me, an unexpected solace amidst the impending grief.

Her trembling hands reached up to catch the tears streaming down my face. The car's interior was now illuminated, revealing the entirety of her face. This encounter, however, was bittersweet, for it marked the final occasion I would gaze upon her countenance with such proximity. The selfish desire to cling to this moment clawed at my conscience.

His eyes, windows to a soul drowning in emotions, reflected pain, fear, and an unabated torrent of tears. A silent understanding passed between us – this would be the last time our eyes met so intimately. Despite the agony, a question lingered: Could I afford to be selfish in this moment?

"A-amore," I stammered, my voice barely audible over the echoes of grief. Unable to resist, I reached out to touch his face, my fingers gently tracing the contours of every inch, desperate to etch his perfect features into my memory.

The intensity of the pain echoed through Aiden's anguished words, his emotional outpouring a stark departure from the strong, cold, and emotionless demeanor I had known. The transformation before me was profound, his eyes now wells of regret, fear, and loneliness. The overwhelming torrent of emotions he struggled to articulate left me unsettled; it was a side of Aiden I hadn't encountered before.

"It's f—cking hurt, Agape! The pain is unbearable. The mere thought of you with another man in the future is tormenting me. I want you; I love you so much!" His vulnerability laid bare, I could sense the internal struggle, a stark contrast to the composed Aiden I once knew.

"I'm so sorry for drawing you in, Amore! If only I could distance myself from you, I wouldn't have done it."

"No! Don't say that. I love you, okay? It hurts when you express regret about meeting me and loving me. No, don't say that, please. You are the greatest thing that has happened in my life." The weight of his remorse threatened to overwhelm me, and I wished I could retreat from the heartbreaking scene unfolding before me. Aiden seemed fragile, weakened, and I longed to shield myself from witnessing his emotional turmoil.

"Yes, you're right," he conceded.

"What do you mean?" I implored, seeking clarity in the midst of emotional chaos.

"I regret loving you!" The words hung in the air, irreversible and painful. Even though it was not true, the admission spilled out uncontrollably, a desperate attempt to sever the emotional entanglement.

"No! You're just joking, right?" Aiden grabbed my hand, his trembling fingers intertwining with mine. The agony reflected in his eyes, and the pain resonated in the air.

"Can't you hear me? I regret loving you, Cole Aiden! I hate you! No, I loathe you for hurting me!"

"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The echoes of our emotional exchange reverberated through the airport, fortunately deserted and owned by one of my brother's best friends.

"I love you so much; that's why I hurt you. I'm afraid I might be the reason you can't reach the dreams you deserve." Aiden's confession, fraught with inner turmoil, revealed a fear of hindering my aspirations. The complexity of his emotions added layers to the tumultuous moment, leaving me torn between compassion and the pain of his actions.

I don't want to hear your rants! Just go away; I don't want to see you again!" Her eyes abruptly vanished, silence replacing the tumultuous exchange. She remained silent, and I found myself simply staring, the weight of her words settling in the air.

"So, you hate me that much, huh? Well, I deserve it. The girl I love is burying me in her mind. I deserve this pain. I know you will find a better man than me. No, I'm not better, because all I bring is pain to you. From every angle, it's clear that you will never be mine." My feet and knees felt drained of energy, and a pervasive sense of despair overcame me. I struggled to breathe as tears streamed down my face, a deluge of emotions overwhelming me.

"Always take care of yourself. I love you. You will be the only girl that I love. You, just you." I watched her figure recede, unable to kneel down due to the weakness in my knees. Grandma immediately attended to me, leading me towards the awaiting plane.

As we ascended into the air, my tears ceased, replaced by a numbness that permeated my body. The lid of my eyes closed, and darkness enveloped my senses.

"Madame, Madame, we have already arrived, Madame?" The pain lingered in my body as I reluctantly opened my eyes. My vision blurred, the result of a night spent crying. I bit my lips to stifle the pain as tears continued to flow. When would they stop falling?

"Madame, don't cry; we might got accuse that we made you cry."

"I'm sorry. I need to retouch." I couldn't bear the thought of my parents, especially Grandpa and Grandma, seeing me in such a state. As I disembarked from the plane, I prepared to face the silence, a stark contrast to the bustling NAIA. However, the silence that surrounded me now felt almost deafening. It was unfamiliar, but I knew I had to adapt; this was my new reality.

I began retouching, attempting to conceal the evidence of my tear-stained night. As we made our way home, I took a deep breath, reminding myself to relax and be calm.

"You can do this, Lara! Live your life to the fullest; you can live without him! Train yourself as if you have a roommate in the morning and someone waiting for you. You're in Europe now, but he's still stuck in thoughts!"

"Thank you." I swiftly exited the car, the staff opening the door and carrying my suitcase.

"Mommy! Daddy! Grandma!" Their eyes lit up as they saw me, and they enveloped me in a warm hug. I couldn't help but cry in their arms.

"Lara, dear! We've missed you so much.

"I missed my lovely parents too."

"Welcome home, my grand daughter!" they chimed simultaneously.

Yes, this is where I truly belong—here with my family. I had been momentarily blinded by the illusion of another place as home, another life. Maybe we were never meant for each other, and as I embraced my family, I found solace in the certainty of their love.