Paloma Williams.
"I love you," mom had told me when I was six. "And because I love you, our love will never let us be apart."I'd held on to those words, those few glimpses of happiness that I'd gotten from what was otherwise a trying childhood, a time before he'd upped and left, before she had decided to sacrifice me for her pills and before I had decided to devote myself with the faintest of hopes that she might one remember how much she cared for me.Those moments had faded away, nothing more than a disillusioned memory of a wonky child and as The detective's questions came, I found myself wondering if it could have happened differently."Paloma Williams,” detective Jim Burnes calls in his strong voice. "I assure you we'll find your mother, thank you for your co-operation."In that moment, Sal burst through the door, it had been quite a few hours since I'd informed him about my mother's call and he looked like he'd driven all the way here."Sal." I say eyeing his haggard look once over. "You look like crap."He looked worse than crap, his hair sas matted and uncombed, his eyes had dark circles underneath them and there was an unruly stubble jutting out of his chin, his demeanor radiated tiredness but I guess it came with the job of caring for her."I feel like crap." He groans. "What the hell are they saying Oma, has she been found?""No." I reply. "Give it a rest Sal, you look broken."He begins to cry, his head placed on my shoulders as he sobs, muttering unintelligible words, I make a call to Casey and send Sal to the apartment."Please if anything comes up." I tell the detective. "No matter how minute please give me a call."He nods sympathetically and I'm just about to leave when the door swings open and Orion comes breezing through."Paloma!" He calls and his eyes lands on me, he looks me once over and heaves a sigh of relief. "Someone posted about you being arrested, I had to come and check.""I'm fine." I tell him. "Go home.""You don't look fine." He says. "Were you mugged, are you ok?"Of all the crap I had to deal with, this one had my gears spinning."Can I crash at your place tonight?" I ask. "I know it's not ideal since we don't really like each other but just for tonight."He seems taken aback by the suddenness of it all."You know just forget I asked." I begin to rescind my words. "it's-""It's fine." He says. "You are my girlfriend after all."I don't know if it's the tiredness or stress causing lack of proper brain function but I swear I almost smile at his remark."Come on." he leads me on out to his sleek black Cadillac. "let's go."The drive was eerily silent and I could feel the gnawing of discomfort right up my spine as he continued to take sneaky glances at me."Are you going to pry or are just going to continue staring at me?""Would you give an appropriate answer to my questions?" He retorts."If it would keep the creepy stares off of me then maybe I would." I tell him."Fine." he says. "What were you doing at the cops.""Why?" I ask. "Do you have a thing for Cops are you parr of some secret crime syndicate?"I laughed at my own jokes and his eyebrows furrow in annoyance."Don't evade Paloma." he says. "Just answer me.""Whatever I was doing was personal and none of your business." I reply curtly."Yeah" he says deflated "I knew that's what you were gonna go with."He exhaled a silent breath and we continue the rest of the drive to his place in complete silence, he didn't even bother to look at me anymore, which I founder slightly more irritating.I'd expected less of a home and more of a soccer themed pig sty, but I was taken aback by his apartment, I didn't really think that I'd get over how clean and proper it looked, he must have had maids doing his stuff and chores for him."My home is your home." He says to me. "At least for tonight, snacks are in the fridge and there's a spare room you can crash in.""Yeah no problem." I say. "Thanks for this"There's a hint of smile on his lips as we part ways and part of me wonders what it was all about, but I'm too exhausted to look for anything rather than a warm plush bed.I awoke late at night, just a little after midnight to the sounds of muffled conversation and loud cries, my first thought spun towards a criminal upon investigating with a bat I found laying around I discover the noise is coming from His room.I creak his door to see him thrashing and yelling and even though his eyes are shut tightly there are teardrops cascading down the side of his face."No!" He yells. "Please I'm begging you, let her go, let her go!"His body spasms and he lets out a guttural cry just as my hands wrap around him."It's ok." I tell him, "shh, shh, it's nothing but a nightmare."I reach out to touch his face just as his eyes spring open, he grabs my hands reflexively and stares deeply into my eyes."Y-you w-were h-having a nightmare." I stutter "I-I just wanted to help, I should go."I felt myself turn red as I realized that there was a very semi naked Orion pressed to me, I made an attempt to extricate myself from him but his hands held me firmly in place."Stay." he says in a hoarse voice "I'm not doing anything, buy just please stay.""Orion." I begin."Please Paloma." He says. "Just stay."It was craziness what he expected of me, it was even crazier of me to oblige his request, his arms slowly curled around me and our bodies and heat synced together as we fell asleep in each other arms.I awoke again, this time to sunlight streaming down my face, and something hard digging into my back and as the realization of where I was and what was actually digging into my body all semblance of sleep vanished from my body."Oh my God." I yell and leap out of the bedOrion's eyes open drowsily, he seemed disoriented for awhile but as the situation dawned on him, discomfort aligns all over his features."We should-" he began"Never talk about this again!" I finish for him.He nods awkwardly and I back out of his room, I'm much in a hurry after that and although it was rude I leave without saying goodbye, I couldn't bare to face him just yet.I am disoriented and slightly dazed, but I still managed to meet up with Casey at the Cafe and I recount all the activities of the last night to her between the sips of piping hot coffee.I leave out the parts of Orion and the nightmare but Casey still has that look on her face."What?" I ask a bit confused"I don't like this," she says "the thought of you crashing at his place, I'd have gone out to a friend of mine, you really-""You'd think I'd sleep well knowing that I'd kicked you out of your apartment." I say hiking my brows up, "you do enough as it is, besides I'm fine, he'd be having his eggs for breakfast if he'd pulled any stunt.""But still-" she says, her face clearly showing that she didn't buy into my ideas"I'm fine." I reassure her. "I'm good."Her reply is caught in her throat and her looks reflect annoyance, she gives a lazy eye roll."Speak of the devil." she says simply.I turn so loudly I almost pop an artery and there he was walking towards me looking a bit dishevelled than usual."I'll see what he wants." I say to Casey."Hey." he says to me as we meet halfway. "I came to say sorry for last night, i didn't mean to-""Its fine." I reply"No it's not" he says looking uncomfortable, "and I owe you one, I'm-"He's cut off by the ringing of my phone."Hello." the detective's voice comes blasting through despite the annoying music in the background."Oma we've found her, your mother's here with us."I'm writing down details in a flash and I hurry back to Casey and ask that she gives this to Sal at my behest, I take a look at Orion and the plan clicks in my head."You just said you owe me one?" I ask. "Ready to pay it back?""Yeah,” he says."Good then get your car we're going on a little trip."Paloma WilliamsA strange sort of silence hung between us save for the heavy blaring of loud music blasting from the radio, his fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly only releasing to tap to the beat which I found slightly irritated, as it only has seemed to aggravate the tension."You said we would talk." I say finally breaking the thick tension between us. "So talk." "Hmm." He grunted and his hands gripped the steering wheel even tighter. "Say something." I demand. "Or you can drop me off.""No." He said begrudgingly. "I offered a ride, I'm not leaving you stranded in the middle of nowhere.""Then talk to me." I say exparsated. "I don't need this gruff and silent shit, I have plenty of my own crap to figure out.""Something's are better left unsaid." He said simply. "There are things you can't know, not yet.""And yet here I am!" I groan annoyed. "In a car with you going to see my druggie fucked up mother, your fucking crap must be ten times worse I'm sure."If he was affect
Paloma~Little things form the biggest memories and leave the biggest scars, things that will never leave us, never truly heal, never truly forgotten. Seeing my mom was one of those moments, everything threatened to burst, my hands clutched tightly around Sal's as the sobs threatened to escape me.She'd changed much since I'd last saw her, thinner, older and weathered with stress, she seemed but a hollow shell devoured from within, barely held together by fragments of life."Mom." I say in a soft tone, trying very hard to hide my disheartenment. "Mom."She stares at me but her glazed over look seems to go right through me. "Come Paloma." She says like a well memorized anthem. "Come give your mother a hug."My feet remain rooted to the ground even as Sal nudges me forward, with each step it feels like I'm accepting a reality that I want no part of.'No' my mind chants, "no no no".With each step my mind and my body rejected the phenomenon that stood before me, simply refused to accept
Paloma~The silence and heavy set tension could be cleaved in two with a big knife. I felt the sting of it more than anyone and I hoped for the sake of my fractured dignity it remained that nonsense didn't spew out from her."Can believe Sal?" She says.I guess it was too much to ask for, I shook silently praying for her to swallow the insanity that seemed to pour from her fractured thinking. "Shoulda known the motherfucker was up to something." She continues. "The bugger must be creeping up all over the place."I'd forgotten just how much she infuriated me and in a the short while that we'd spent together, she'd managed to remind me of just how much I couldn't stand her. "Yh." I say. "He must have gotten all the best views of your gutter stained panties when he was hauling your drunk ass home, because that's just the kind of man Sal is.""Yeah." She says completely oblivious of my comments. "We should have him reported.""For what?" I say louder. "Cleaning up your fucking mess all t
Paloma~It's alway weird when the girl in high school who was popular because she was hot and because every boy had seen her ass as a rite of passage called the young prissy virgin (which was me, I'm the young prissy virgin) a slut.Well that was what Elena Furbray called me for the entirety of high school and I did pride myself that I wasn't a suck-up like her, who clung to boys and their dicks. But it turns out that there might be a bit of slutty-ness in me. There was nothing else to quantify myself as I melted like putty to his kisses. I'm ashamed to say that if he hadn't stopped of his own accord I wouldn't have either. We said nothing apart from that didn't think we needed to as we fell back to sleep.I had gotten quite used to the warmth he provided when we slept, it was another shame I'd like to forget, I wanted to remember the beast who'd broken that girl's heart all over the sidewalk, but with the helpful, suspiciously silent guy next to me, the memories refused to rise to th
Paloma~The faint knock on the apartment door had me tingling with something I didn't dare admit to myself. It seemed kind of ridiculous for me to pace about amd yet it was the only thing keeping me sane.My hopes were dashed once again, twice it should have been him and twice it wasn't. I send the pizza guy away with a rather meagre tip even though it was clearly not his fault that Orion was a no-show. Hours seemed to pass by perceptively but the clock said he was only minutes late. Each moment sort of taunted me and under the lush and beautiful girl in the black lush dress, a sliver of my old self stared back in astonishment.The long wait finally won over any sort of niceties and excitement I'd dreamed up, it'd been foolish of me to believe that he'd-The sound of a light faint knock had whatever thought that I had wrenched out of me, my feet quickened as I opened the door.There he was, rocking off the casual look with faint illumination of the moon echoing away in his eyes, eyes
There's something about the simplicity and elegance of everything that blows me away."It's, it's-" I began, my breath hitching in my throatHis fingers curl about the small of my back and the vivid image of my torn dress resurfaces and I feel the redness entangled with my skin. "Come on." He whispers in my ear. "Your date has lingered on enough."He leads me on to the candle lit table. It felt ethereal being right there with him in the middle of the room under the surprisingly starry night."Hope you can keep a secret?" He says as we sit. "Cause this has to be one of my hideouts."He smiles at me, a genuine clean smile this time, it felt good to see him do that for me, made me feel something stir in me, something that broke the boundaries of the faux pretence we had going on."Tell me something about yourself." He says digging into the chicken in front of him. "Apart from the crap."My eyes narrowed and he raised his hands in mock surrender, but yet I obliged him. "I like the color
It's been days since the incident with the 'crazy ex' as Casey and I had dubbed it and there wasn't a glimpse of him around, I'd gone out of my way to see him, even to his soccer game which was saying a lot considering I cared little to nothing for the sport, but it would seem that even then he'd gone out of his way to avoid me, disappearing with crowd before I could even get the chance to talk to him.Casey had been livid at first, at girl for being an 'obsessive bitch' her words not mine and at him for abandoning ne right after, it would be impossible for me recount some of the PG-79 words that she'd used on him, but nevertheless she passed on her usual message. Be careful, it irked me that she thought so little of him and even more so that his actions were proving her right.As for me, I'd been left slightly abused and confused and extremely bruised to my ego, the fact that he'd avoided me for so long only seemed to worse whatever feelings of dissatisfaction and doubt that I had to
Casey ended up being the hyper one among the both of us. After the incident at the mall with nude girl 101, the party seemed to be all that she could talk about, Strange how her eyes took on a mischievous glint whenever she talked about it, but I had to play the part and agree with her, wouldn't want my best chance of survival slipping away.There was little I could do too save for school, I tried to be nonchalant and not so hyper, it seemed crazy that there was this budding need and feeling that I needed to impress a man who'd be comfortable ignoring, the more I thought of it, the less I felt alright, It made feel less and I didn't really want to anymore."Case." I tell her on the night of the party. "I don't really think I'm in the mood for this anymore, maybe we should stay home?"She looked at me like I'd lost my mind, "I didn't spend all day planning to rub my pretty self all over some rich kid." She tells me. "And so help me God if you don't put on this fucking dress and start