Where it all began

Paloma~

Everyone who knew me, knew that I had a strange dislike for men, 'Manly Pal' they called me for most of my life and it kind of stuck, Granted I was definitely not a lesbian, I had the same girlish fantasies but in reality I did know that men sucked, Like our former mailman Mr Dan who seemed nice and all until I turned sixteen.

"Wanna Have some fun?" He'd asked me out of the blue one day while on his rounds.

"What kind of fun?" I'd asked quizzically.

His hands moved slowly to his rather engorged crotch and he winked at me.

"Are you alright, Mr Dan?" I asked naively.

"Come on don't be like that.” He groaned and squeezed his crotch. “Such a bloody tease you are, I can show you a good time you know.”

He made an attempt to grab me and my years of self defense classes automatically kicked in, I shived my foot up his crotch and restrained him before calling the cops, Mr Dan was 43 when he was sentenced to 25 years for molestation and rape because apparently he'd done the same shit to two other girls.

My mother had come home that night a mix of wasted and high thanks to another Douchebag called My Dad who went to get the milk and never returned.

"Are you ok?" She'd asked in a daze.

"Yeah" I remembered replying.

"Saw you on national tv" she said laughing.

"Famous ball buster!, Just like your mom!"

She didn’t even ask if I was hurt, she just collapsed on the chair afterwards and I cleaned up after her like I'd beem doin' for the past eight years.

So yeah, I have never gotten why girls smiled and blushed and bashed their eyelids, put on excessive makeup amd whatnot for guys who were sure to do them over, but as I stood there watching him strut by with his dirty blonde hair swaying ever so slightly and the sun reflecting in those gorgeous blue eyes and his muscles rippling slightly, I felt my heartbeat for the first time.

I moved in stride with him keeping my pace steady just so that I could stay behind him and admire his muscular back, I'd never thought a back as sexy not until now, it felt like I would be spellbound for awhile but a loose scream was enough to jar me back to reality and as my boy haze faded into what seemed like oblivion, the face of the angry woman with hot coffee spilt all over her came into view.

"Young lady!" She yelled and her face blotched up in shades of red. “look what you've done!"

"Did, I do that?" I asked dumbfounded at the mess I'd inadvertently caused.

"Just my lucky day today!" The woman scowled and narrowed her eyes "She's clumsy and as dumb as a blowfish, listen if you can't walk in a straight line, then do everyone a favour and stay HOME!"

She let out a final huff and then sashayed away, I should have been embarrassed but instead I found myself searching and scanning the dispersing crowd for Mystery Guy but to my utmost disappointment he was gone with the wind, Just my effing luck, I find a soulmate candidate and lose him just as easily.

Needless to say, after an early dose of caffeine, I'd moved on, okay not moved on, but I was slightly beginning to forget what my best friend Casey has dubbed 'The Encounter'.

"Tell me again about Mr Tall dark and handsome.” She said with an impish grin on her face.

"The Cafe is for eating and coffee only." I reply "Besides don't you have some Victoria's secret collection to gawk at or better still that Calculus project you owe Mr Eddie.”

She pouted and reclined back in her chair.

"No on the calculus project, my partner is a fucking douchebag and Victoria's secret can wait, I'm witnessing the eighth wonder of the world here Paloma Andrew's in love!"

Casey 'Victoria secret obsessed' Williams might have been my best friend since before we knew what the word best-friend meant and my current roommate who paid more than half the bill of our apartment but I was this close to stabbing her with a salad fork for blabbing out my secret.

"Shut up.” I groaned "I am not in love with anyone certainly not with someone I do not know.”

"You're blushing.” she says, her smile growing wider until it was almost comical, “that tinge of red on your cheeks tells otherwise guess we'll have to cross 'Man Pal' from the list cause you're about to become someone's 'Pally wally"!"

Again the salad fork flashes through my mind, I'm about to retort when my phone rings and the name that flashes on it drains away every feeling of happiness that was previously there.

"Excuse me.” I say to Casey "I have to take this.”

My emotions must have been written clearly across my face because Casey hands find mine

"Is it her again?" She asks, concern written all across her face.

"Mums the word" I reply attempting a crude joke.

"You don't have to take the call.” Casey tells me "You don't have to do this to your self, you don't owe her shit!, If anything you've been her mother for the past three years."

"I want to Casey, I won't abandon her." I reply softly.

I take the call before I'm discouraged any further and Our landlord and possibly the reason we weren't homeless for five years ia at the other end.

"Casey" He calls and I hear commotion in the background "Your mum's at it again, I'd have called you with my cell but it's in pieces on the floor, add that to the list of shit your mum's broken over the years!"

"Is that Casey!"I hear Mum shout in the background "I want to talk to her!, Let me talk to my daughter!"

There's some rustling and more commotion and Mum finally seems to wrestle the phone from her.

"Oma honey.” She call out to me and my heart breaks a little, she goes on “I'm clean Oma but I just need a little of my smoke, I'm cured Oma, I just need a little, just one smoke and he won't give it to me!."

"Mom.” I say so softly I am barely to hear myself, "you know you can't do that, I can't have you doing that.”

"I knew it.” Mom screams through the phone "You're just like your father, denying me of happiness, you re just like him!, You worthless little sl-"

Sal yanks the phone from her at that moment and his ragged breaths come through the window

"Paloma." he says between heavy breaths "I've called the rehab and they are sending men to have her checked in again, I'm not with much but I can have the bill sorted for now, send whatever you have for her upkeep ok?"

"Give me my fuckin' Joint!" Mom yells "I hate you, I hate all of you!"

"I'll send what I can." I say in a broken tone

Mom goes calm and begins to let out soft silent sobs and then the line goes dead..

I should be used to this by now, Mom checking in and out of rehab like it's a fucking party in there but the waterworks still come and i sob silently for a minute, when I am finally done I clean myself up and turn to go in before Casey becomes worried when a familiar figure catches my eye.

It's him, Mystery guy, he's close enough to touch but then I notice the black haired girl with him and just like me she's been crying her eyes out.

"Orion" she says her voice breaking "I love you"

"Well I don't.” His voice comes out silky, smooth and hard. “at least not anymore!"

The tears begin to cascade down her face, and her expression changes into what can only be described as complete and abject sorrow and right away I knew that I shouldn't be there, I had no right to eavesdrop on their conversation, no right at all to turn this moment to my personal movie, but for some reason my legs wouldn't move, I was rooted in place as I watched the scene play out.

"You've had the best of everything from me!, Everything you've asked, everything you've wanted I have given to you, for bloody christ's sakes Orion, you were my first, don't do this to me because of a silly mistake!"

"Silly?” he scoffs, his eyes carrying a lazy and bored look. “The only silly thing here is me standing here and watching you whine like a child, It's over, I'm done with this crap!"

"Orion please.” She begged a little more frantic this time. “I am begging to please reconsider, I can change, I'll be better please don't do this to me!"

"I'm done with this crap." He says and begins to walk away.

But she grabs on to him tightly crying and pleading, so much so that he pushes her off onto the cold and wet pavement.

"Orion Matthews!" She screams as he stalks off leaving her a wet sloppy mess.

My legs move of their own accord and soon I'm offering her a hand.

"Are you okay?" I ask using my most sympathetic tone.

But she just curls in on her self and sobs erratically. Three things happen in that moment, their relationship crumbles like a wet cookie, my purring heart silences and hardens with resolve and any interest I have in Orion Matthews whatsoever completely goes out the window.