My innocent and young mind did not know the reason why we stayed on the streets, or why dad was not with us. I just thought of the fascinating city lights. I even tried to chase after the cars if not of my mother who scolded me like that was her last night.
Not only that, but I could see how angry she was at me. She blamed me for why we are staying on the street, and why dad was put to jail, and why our house was burned. She scolded me like there was no tomorrow. Furthermore, she spanked me hard, even slapped me in my both cheeks.I cried because of so much fear and pain.And in that one night, I saw how cruel the world was. And still up to the present, I could still experience the cruelty in both my school and in my own home.Home. Is it really... where the heart is?I took a step forward. I walked closer to the nipa hut and entered in. A few more steps and I could enter the small kitchen.And I saw mother. She was silently taking a sip on her small bowl of soup. "Take some soup," she said without looking up at me.I silently heaved a sigh and sat on the other side. I quietly pour some soup on my bowl when she said something."Pour more. You need to finish the soup."I gulped. "O-Okay."My insides curled. I was still scared of my own mother.The memories of my childhood never ever leave my memory. They stayed there like an old friend, who visited me from time to time to remind me that they were still there, and I could count on them when I need them.But I didn't need those memories.I didn't like to have them!But every time I tried to run away from those memories, they keep on chasing after me. They were chasing close enough to touch me. And in those times, I knew, I could not escape them.They had already made a home in my mind.IT WAS unusually quiet. My classmates talked less, and I find it weird since I knew that they were really talkative. Maybe this morning was different.I silently walked in the aisle and sat on my chair at the back. I looked around, but nothing's weird except the stillness of my classmates. They were really quiet.I wanted to ask my seatmate on what happened, but I knew that no one will answer me. I shrugged my shoulder. It was the usual response.I opened my backpack and got my notebook. Today's first subject was Math, and I sucked on this subject the most. I didn't know why I could not get the right solutions for math problems.It was really easy if the teacher was demonstrating it to us, but when I got the term paper and read new math problem, I always end up staring the test paper wondering how to answer such strange and new math problems. I always ended up in a panicked state where my mind stopped processing."Good morning," someone greeted from the front.I looked at the one who strolled happily towards the teacher's table at the front. At first, I did not recognize him but when he stood firm and looked at the whole class, my mouth opened slightly in awe.He was the guy yesterday, the witness of the 'dead' kitten. I blinked twice, but yeah, I guess he's really standing in front of the class."Good morning, Sir!" my classmates greeted.He looked again the whole class and gestured us to stand up. "We'll have some activity where I'll introduce myself to you, and all of you introduce yourself to me," he said.My classmates looked unto each other. I just nodded slightly, hoping that he will not notice me ---"Miss, with silky black hair at the back," the teacher called.I breathed deeply and smiled. "Yes, Sir?""Would you please stay here in front?"His favor to me silenced the whole class. My lips parted slightly as I contemplated if I heard him right. I did not raise my hand nor said something to get his attention.And I was sure that my classmates thought of this as a weird start of the class."You want me to go in front, Sir?" I asked.I want to clarify if I heard it right or nah. Maybe my ears betrayed me.Anthony, as what he told me yesterday as his name, nodded with a little creased forehead. "I don't want to repeat myself, Miss."Oh. I guess he's a strict teacher. I just shrugged my shoulders and walked past the classroom's aisle. The scourging stare of my classmates made my scalp go numb. They wondered why the teacher picked me, and so was I.As a matter of fact, I was not the first option. This was the first time that someone picked me first."Now that you are here," Anthony whispered. He stalked closer to me and handed something. "Write down the names of your classmates on the chalkboard, including yours.""Sir?"His lips formed a small smile. "You want me to repeat myself?"I immediately shook my head. "I-I understand, Sir."I got the stick of the chalk from his hand and started writing on the chalkboard. I breathed deeply as my lips started to quiver."Make it a table like list, with four columns and five rows."I silently looked at him and our eyes instantly met. I looked back to the chalkboard and focused my attention to writing the names of my classmates.Four columns and five rows...I did what he instructed me to do, but in the middle of writing, I quietly stopped and looked at the class. The truth was I only knew a handful of names of my classmates.I did not know the whole class, just half of them. And those I knew were once became my group mates or pair during an activity. So how am I going to write all of their names?"Miss?"I blinked and looked at the teacher. He should not pick me up in the first place. Right then, I just hope that he did not pick me first."I could not write them down, Sir." I looked on the floor."And why?" he asked.There was a hint of playfulness in his tone. I wanted to confront him, but I did not want to shame him in front of his class or talk as if he was not a teacher. I did not want to be rude, so I just shyly smiled at him."I only know a few of them," I said and secretly sighed. The feeling of intense stares from my classmates burned a hole on the back of my head. My lips pursed into a thin line and my stomach was churning. I was not used to this feeling of being the center of attention, and I just wanted to go and sit on my chair at the back area, away from their scrutinizing eyes. The problem was the teacher's attention on me and I did not want to appear disrespectful in front of him. "That's okay." He played with his pen on his fingers and smiled amiably. "Then, you'll perform the activity first." "W-What?" When I realized what I uttered, I cleared my throat. "I mean... uh." "You mean what?" he asked, clearly teasing me.I gave up and shook my head. Just what did he want in me? I sighed again. "Then... what should I do, Sir?" "Kindly introduce yourself in the form of singing. Make the lyrics your name, age, and what you love the most." My cheeks burned red in embarrassment. He wanted me to sing
I looked away. I was afraid that he might see the uneasiness in my eyes. He would surely think of me as someone he could play with, and I did not want that."Okay," was all I could utter at that time. I did not know what to say or what to do. I just looked down on the grass and played with the hem of my uniform. My heart could not stop beating so fast.He cleared his throat. "That incident was not an accident, Sydnee. Someone wanted you dead, and that person might not stop until you're dead.""Are you scaring me, Sir?"And I heard his laugh. The deep laugh from my Math teacher was not really amusing. In fact, it was alarming that I made him laugh like that. It was as if I made a very stupid move, and he might give me a lower grade."You can say that," he said after some time. His smile never faded on his lips. "But do your parents know about that? Have you told them?"I shook my head. "What's the point? I don't like talking about school to them." I secretly sighed. "And as if they care
She shrugged her shoulders and grinned again at me. What's with that grin? And why was she staring at me like I've grown another head?She then shook her head. "No. What I mean is the math teacher."Just when I thought that, I've successfully shooed that teacher away in my mind. I rarely smiled at her. "What's with him??"I see that you are close to him."Me? Close to that teacher?I chuckled at what she had said. "We're not close. You saw it wrongly.""No. I saw you two talking under the tree in the middle of the field. You are close to him."My heart skipped a beat at her words. "What do you mean by that?""Are you his girlfriend?"My cheeks burned red in embarrassment. "What? Of course not!" I yelled.She laughed like crazy. She even had the guts to harshly tapped my shoulder. I shoo her hands away and held my shoulder. "Why are you laughing?""You blushed!" she exclaimed.I held my cheeks. "What are you saying?"But she looked around the room and yelled. "Classmates, look at the co
"I-I did..." I breathe deep. "I didn't mean to offend you."Rogie wanted me to follow him. I did not want to, but he insisted. He even tried to take a hold of me, and I was thankful that a teacher approached us and asked what's happening. I got a chance to escape from his grip on me.The varsity team flew even before the teacher came close to us. Of course, they would not want to involve in any acts that will violate the school rules because doing so will blacklist them in school's varsity."That boy," I hissed and checked my wrist.It was reddish because of Rogie's tight grip. I sighed and walked hurriedly. I did not want to be caught again by Rogie, knowing that he was looking for me."Sydnee!"My breath hitched, but I immediately recognized the familiar voice. It was the Math Teacher, Anthony. I turned around to face him."Sir," I greeted.It was weird that I felt relieved upon seeing him. Just this morning, I did not want to see him again, but I was happy that it was he who found m
"No, I'm not." He looked around.I looked around, too. It was sunset again, and I was standing in front of my own teacher and talking to him as if I was not a student. It was really in trouble if anyone would hear how I respond to my teacher."But, Sir, I think that's not possible. I am still your student, and anyone would suspect that you're giving me a favor if you'll be my tutor.""That's why I ask you to be my assistant.""Even though, Sir." I looked at him again. "Being an assistant or being a tutor, that means a big trouble.""I will pay you."Pay me? Is he serious, when I should be the one paying him if he'll be my tutor? I just smiled and shook my head. "Please let me be, Sir. This quarter is almost done. I will study hard to prove that I could pass Math without a tutor.""I don't mean you'll be dependent on my service, I mean I'll help you in topics that you find difficult to understand. That's the teacher's job.""Then..." I blinked twice. "Why would you want me to be your as
I could not understand Rogie sometimes. "Go in the middle!" he shouted. The volume of the music grew louder so he had to shout. "I don't want to," I refused. He smirked. "You don't want to?" My eyes widened as Rogie pulled me into the middle. The memory of last year's Christmas party flashed through my mind so I struggled from his hold. "I don't want to, Rogie. I don't want!" I refused again. He tightened his grip and pulled me further into the center of the classroom. I harshly pulled my wrist back that my juice in pack fell on the floor. "Rogie!" I rebuked him and pulled myself together. "You should be there in the middle, joining the crowd! I want you to dance in the middle!" he shouted. I thought my classmates nearby heard what Rogie had shouted so they looked at us while the others were busy dancing. They started clapping as they watched me still struggling under Rogie's tight grip. A cold feeling ran down my spine when I heard their applause. That’s also what I heard last
For years of living with her in that small nipa hut, I was used to being told what to do and being scolded for things I did wrong every day. Sometimes it's tiring so I prefer to go to school than stay at home. Now that Mama has a job all day, my day will be quiet as well. A few days passed and still, nothing changed in my life. After waking up in the morning... I will eat, wash clothes I and Mama had worn yesterday, will eat again, go to the neighbors to do laundry, go home, and wait for Mama when the afternoon comes. I have already collected enough amount of money but I still prefer to collect more because I know I will not be able to go to the neighbors when school day comes. When Christmas eve came, we only had soup and rice ready. We also did not bother to give each other presents, so after a few minutes after the clock struck midnight, Mama and I were asleep. It was the same set-up when the new year came. But before New Year's celebration, someone from our neighbor gave us five
I could not remember exactly what I had memorized during lunch. I tried to write a formula on paper and answered a math problem. Still, I could not get the right answer. I scratched my head and relearned the lesson I had memorized this afternoon. The next day, I did the same. I went to the library to study for the next lesson but sometimes, I would go back to the first lesson so I would not forget it. When the class was dismissed later that afternoon, I left the classroom and then hurried to the library. But I found out that I kind of forgot the lesson I memorized yesterday, as I had finished memorizing the next lesson that day. I wiped the sweat on my face. If this is how I do it -- forgetting the first lesson every time I memorize the next lesson --- I will forget all the lessons when the exam comes and all the time that I had spent in that library will be wasted. I breathed deeply in annoyance. "Sydnee," called a familiar voice in the back. I turned to look at the one who had