Chapter 15: Forgiveness

I had never seen January like this before.

The strong, stoic man who had always been my protector, the one who never showed weakness, who always had the answers, was standing in front of me, his shoulders slumped, his eyes filled with regret. His usual confident smile was absent, replaced with a quiet sorrow I hadn’t expected.

I started to pack my things, the essentials and Zeus will be back to pick me up. After Knox officially rejected me and severed my bond to the pack, Zeus decided that I should leave as soon as possible. 

"November, I—" he began, his voice faltering.

I sat on the floor, the weight of his presence making my chest tighten. I knew what he wanted to say, and I wasn’t sure how to respond. He had always been my rock, my constant. But the things he had said, the way he had praised Emerald as the perfect mate for Knox, even when he didn’t know the truth, those words had stung more than I had let on. Knox had lied about him that I was making an assumption that Knox was not my mate and blaming me for breaking him and Emerald. January believed him without listening to my side. 

But now, in the quiet of this moment, I saw the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn’t just apologizing for the past, he was apologizing for not being there for me in the way I needed. He had been caught up on his own in his and Knox friendship. his own desire to protect Knox and his humiliation and in the process, he had forgotten about me.

“I didn’t know,” January continued, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t know that Knox was your mate, November. I thought I was doing the right thing, praising Emerald, talking about how perfect she was for Knox. I never meant to hurt you, never meant to make you feel like I was pushing you away. But I see now... I see now how wrong I was.”

He paused, taking a breath, clearly struggling with his words.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry for everything. For not being there when you needed me, for not understanding the pain you were going through. I don’t want to lose you, November. I can’t lose you.”

I stared at him, my heart aching with a mix of emotions. Part of me wanted to lash out, to remind him of all the things he had said, all the praise he had heaped onto someone who wasn’t even worthy of it. But another part of me understood. I understood that January had been trying to protect me in his own way, trying to fix what was broken without fully grasping what I needed.

I took a deep breath and looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time in what felt like forever.

“You didn’t know,” I said softly, my voice surprisingly steady. “But it hurt, Jan. It hurt so much hearing you talk about Emerald like that. And knowing that you didn’t even see me, or what I was going through—it just felt like I was invisible. Like nothing mattered.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, his face crumpling with guilt. “I never wanted to make you feel that way. I was a fool. I didn’t see you, sis. I was too focused on... everything else. On what I thought was best, and not on what you needed. You needed me to be there, to understand. And I failed.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of his words. It wasn’t just the praise for Emerald that hurt—it was the fact that January, my brother, hadn’t seen me as I truly was. He hadn’t seen how much I had been struggling, how much pain I had been in, how I had lost myself in the aftermath of the rejection and the heartbreak.

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” I said quietly, finally meeting his gaze. “But it doesn’t make the hurt go away.”

January nodded, his eyes filled with understanding. “I know. I just... I need you to know that I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere. I want to help you heal, November. I want to be there for you, the way you’ve always been there for me.”

His words were sincere, and a part of me wanted to forgive him right then and there. But forgiveness wasn’t something that came easily—not when the wounds were so fresh, not when the betrayal still stung. It would take time, and I knew that.

But for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel alone.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you yet,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. “But I’ll try. I’ll try,Jan.  For both of us.”

He looked relieved, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“That’s all I can ask for.”

I smiled faintly, the tears that I had been holding back finally slipping free. “Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear it.”

January reached out, pulling me into a hug. His arms were strong, and I felt safe there—safe in his embrace, as I used to feel when we were younger, before the world had started to crumble.

“I love you, November,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

“I know,” I whispered back, my heart swelling with something I couldn’t quite name. “I love you too.”

As I held onto my brother, I felt the first real sense of peace in a long time. It wasn’t a cure for everything, but it was a start. And right now, that was enough.