Chapter 4: A Shattered Heart and A stubborn man

“So, are you just going to waste your life taking Wolfnip?” Zeus asked me as I sat on the exposed root of a large tree. 

“Why do you keep on appearing? You’re irritating me,” I replied,  looking at my torso. There was a long wound and deep purple bruises from below my breast and to my abdomen. I got the wound from the rogue I met the other night that I was patrolling. It didn’t heal. In fact my wolf was already too weak to heal me. I rely on alcohol and antibiotics to heal it. 

The bruises, however, were evidence of Knox’s betrayal. Every time he mates with Emerald, his ecstasy would always be painful for me and it left bruises. My wolf would always heal it before up until recently, the bruises never fade away. It’s still there, getting worse. I knew they would be permanent reminders of the future I had lost, and the one forced upon me.

“Like I said, I’m interested in helping you. It would be a waste if you only die. Don’t you want to experience what happiness is?”

“You’re the one who talks. Isn’t a hybrid like you leave your partner after having a child with them? So, please spare me and let me die in peace,” I said as I hissed when the alcohol touched my wound. 

“I’m not like them. I had lived centuries and was never interested in females, humans, dragoness or weres. Trust me when I say I want to help you,” Zeus said, crossing his arms on his chest. 

“No.”

Zeus heaved a sigh. 

“Look, your mate rejected you, I understand that but it doesn’t mean your world would stop. Let me help you.”

“You can say that because you will never understand what a mate means to us werewolves, to me. So, please stop pestering me, saying you’ll help me. I don’t need your charity.”

“So you mean, your mate, the one who rejected you was like me? Does he also not know what a mate means?” Zeus said.

I glare at him. If I tried to fight this bastard, I'd die as soon as I attacked him. Werewolf especially, a hybrid, crossbreed between a dragon and a werewolf was the strongest among us and in the world of shifters. They are wingless but they are huge, larger than the king himself. 

I heaved a sigh. This hybrid doesn't know how to leave me alone. 

“Why are you wasting your time on me? I’m broken, dying, and possibly addicted to Wolfnip. You will not gain anything from me. I’m not special. And also I’m not a match for you,” I replied and forced myself to stand up. “Yes, you may heal me but in the end? You're just going to find your pair. I don’t want to feel the same shit all over again. So, please. Let me die in peace,” I added and started to walk away despite the protest of my aching body. 

Zeus didn’t say anything.

I closed the door softly. I made as little noise to not awaken anyone within.  As I turned around, and proceeded through the kitchen in order to get to the stairs that led to the upper portion of the East wing where my bedroom resided. I wanted nothing but to sleep even though I'll never have a good sleep like every night for two years. 

I noticed Knox and the newly proclaimed Luna in front of the refrigerator. It was dark but it wasn’t a problem. With my highlighted night vision and my sensitive nose, I knew who those people were.

I watched as Knox held Emerald in his arms, placing a chaste kiss on her nose and then nuzzling her neck.  I heard her giggle slightly and then a whisper soft moan emanated from her mouth.  

Weakening, I decided to sit on the chair far from them watching the spectacle in front of me. I didn’t know but my body was frozen on the chair I sat on watching my heart breaking again. I filled my lungs with some oxygen and stood up before they noticed my presence.  However, I was never that lucky. I was so close to stepping out of the room when Emerald turned and caught my movement from her peripheral vision and turned towards me.

“November? Is that you? I thought it was someone. Your glowing amber eyes were scary,” she said, placing her hand on her chest. 

I turned my head towards their direction. I am aware that my eyes glow in the dark. I was born with it. 

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Where have you been to?" I heard Damien state with a touch of concern in his voice.

"Outside."

"Doing what? I know it’s your rest."

"Run. My wolf wanted to run."

"This late at night?"

"Yes."

"By yourself?"

Should be with you if you have only accepted me. 

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

No. I was never okay. You should have known that. 

"Yes."

"You sure?" Worry on his eyes.

"Yes. Please, excuse me. I’m tired,” I said and turned my head back in the direction of the stairs to end the awkward and stilted conversation we were having.

I was hoping that my eyes never showed my pain and that the facade I had created would still be in place. The numbness would envelop me. I wished I was numb, unable to feel anything but that was impossible. I was doomed to feel the pain the bastard put me on. 

I proceeded to the stairs as fast as my legs could take me. As I reached the landing to the stairs, I heard Knox tell Emerald how much he loved her and my facade cracked for a second, and a solitary tear slid down my face before my mask came back on. 

I pressed my back to the door and sat down as my feet gave up. I hugged my knees as tight as I could. I closed my eyes, I took a deep breath as I felt my stomach plummet and the demonic butterfly feeling came to life in me. I prayed to the Goddess that this pain would stop. But even the Goddess was deaf. 

I wish it’ll end so that I’ll stop suffering anymore…