"Molly... I want you to come with me."
"Huh, you what now?"
"I want you to come with me. You me and the whole world at our feet." He's smiling at me but I'm pretty sure I look like a goldfish right now.
"But why? This is a once-in-a-lifetime trip and you need to make the most of every moment. The last thing you want is a grieving widow stuck to your side."
"I want you with me, baby girl. I want to experience every moment with you. I want to make Archie a part of this trip and I want to do it all with you at my side. Please say you'll come?"
"I don't know, Tom."
"Molly, I don't want to sound mean but what do you have to stay here for now? You are on your own. You have to start your life again so why not take some time away from here before you do that huh? "
"Your right and I know you are but I have to start my life over no matter what I do, whether I stay here now and do it or come back in a year and do it."
"That's where you're wrong my little bubba. You see we'll go away and explore the world in Archies name then I'm moving to Texas to be with my family and you're coming with me."
Thomas's dad inherited his parent's farm just over six years ago and his parents decided it would be a great fresh start and so they sold their home and moved the whole family to Texas. I've never been there but I hear that it's a beautiful place to be but still, me moving there?
"I'm what now?"
"Do you think that I'll leave you to come back here to live on your own and be surrounded by people who h-"
"Who hate me, It's ok you can say it."
"They only hate you because they don't know the truth," He raises one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows at me and I know where he's going with this.
"And they won't know ever ok? You promised you wouldn't tell them!"
"And I won't but you're not living here among them so get packing because we leave here tomorrow at 10 am. If there's anything you know your gonna want to keep but don't want to travel with box it up and we'll ship it to the ranch before we leave with my stuff ok?"
"Let's do this, let's go on the trip!" His smile gets wider as he piles me on the bed and I take a few deep breaths as I realize exactly what I have just agreed to but why not? I have no home left after the fire.
My husband is gone and my best friends leaving, and I'll have no one here so what exactly is there to stay here for? I can stay and live in hell or I can make the most of life with Tom and live out a dream that was a part of Archies life.
I've barely slept my mind has been a constant whirlwind all night going between sadness and grief about the past and excitement and anxiety about what's to come. Unfortunately, while I've not been able to sleep I've also managed to keep Tom awake too and now it's 5 am and we've spent the last two hours laughing and crying over the memories that we've shared with Archie and I love that I have him to share those moments with.
"Why don't we get dressed and head to the house? I know you don't want to go there but I think you should before we leave, you need to say goodbye to the place baby girl."
I want to argue it and I want to refuse to go there but deep down I know he's right and I'm also pretty sure that it will be my last chance to go there because after a lot of thinking and talking it through with Tom I've decided to take him up on his offer and head to Texas with him after our trip to make a fresh start.
We pull up outside our home and I'm reminded that this must be hard for him as he lived here with us. I lost my home and my husband and he lost his home and one of his best friends.
We both take deep breaths before stepping out of the car and taking in the view in front of us. The windows are either smashed and boarded up or black from the smoke, I look up at what once was my bedroom to see the smashed window.
The new front door looks out of place, it's red with a brand new shiny knocker and looks nothing like the rest of the house, it was put on after the old one was broken down and I hate it.
"You're not welcome here murderer!" I turn my head to see Jenny my next-door neighbour standing on her doorstep with a look of hate and disgust on her face.
"Oh pipe down sweet checks!" Tom shouts back while I look down at my feet unable to say a word, the letter that's in my pocket feels like it's burning my skin but I shake the feeling aside and look back at my home, well what's left of it anyway.
I feel Tom's arms wrap around my shoulders as he nudges me forward and my feet move of their own accord. "Come on baby girl," He pushes the front door open and I fight back the sobs that want to leave my body. I've come here so many times over the past week but I've never been able to make it past the front door, never been able to even open it.
"Molly... Molly!"
"Sorry, Tom."
"It's ok sweetie. I know that this is hard but you'll regret it if you don't do it so how about we take a look around and box anything we want to keep yes?" I agree and let him pull me around by the hand as I take in the view of what once was my life that's now just ash.
I manage to find some stuff that can be saved, some jewellery that Archie bought me, and some photo albums that show the last 9 years of our lives. Unfortunately, I only find one photo from our wedding but one is all I need.
The place is so quiet that when Tom's cell rings we both jump and his cursing soon brings a small smile to my face. "Sorry Mol, it's Christian I should take this and make sure everything's ok."
I nod as he steps into the other room while I make my way around the house collecting everything important to me that is saveable, not that there's much but thankfully my memories weren't destroyed in the fire. They didn't burn away and no matter where I go in life they will always be with me and for that I'm grateful.
Before I leave my home for the last time I head up the stairs and toward my bedroom. I step inside and even though I knew that the room would be ruined I'm still taken aback by the sight that greets me. Everything is either now ash or charred and it breaks my heart.
I find myself staring down at what once was our bed and before I can stop myself I start laughing real belly-clenching laughter. The door creeks as it opens and Tom comes in with a smile on his face but it's a strange smile, I think he's confused and I get it but I can't stop.
Tom walks over to me and places his hands on my shoulders and just as quick as my laughter started it changes to tears, gut-wrenching, throat-burning sobs wracking my body and I feel myself crumbling to the floor but I don't hit the floor instead I feel strong arms pick me up and I'm cradled to Tom's chest as he lowers us to the floor and holds me tight while I cry like never before.
30 minutes we sit on the dirty floor of my bedroom. 30 minutes of us both crying and laughing and talking and as hard as it was I think I needed it. I've cried since Archies death but not much as I've tried to keep strong but I see now that it wasn't helping me if anything it was holding me back.
Once we are ready we head downstairs and I take one last look around the house before we step outside knowing that this will be the last time that we will step foot in here. This is goodbye and it's killing me.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I just came to pick some stuff up, Gemma. I'm leaving now don't worry."
"You should be ashamed of yourself for coming back here after what you have done Molly. My brother loved this house and it's because of you that he died here!" Her voice gets louder and louder but I don't move, don't say a word. What can I say? Again that letter seems to burn through my pocket and onto my skin.
"Ok that's enough Gemma, leave her alone!" Tom walks over to me, grabs my hand, and pulls me toward the car. The whole time I remain quiet while Gemma continues to shout out to me but in all honestly I don't hear a word of it. He sits me in the car before walking around to the driver's side and getting in next to me. He goes to start the car but I stop him and get back out of the car and walk over to Gemma while he calls out to me.
"Gemma despite what you may think I loved, love your brother more than anything else in this world and I will always miss him. Look I came here to get some stuff because I am leaving and I'm not coming back. Can you give these to Clare, please? You were right about one thing, Archie loved this house we both did and he wouldn't want it to be left to rot so I'm giving it to Clare and I'll have my solicitor draw up the papers so that I can sign it over to her."
Now it's her turn to be the silent one as I hand her the keys and walk away from her without another word. I get back in the car and we head straight for the motel so that we can get ready to leave and say goodbye to this place and the life that we knew.
This is for you, Archie.
Christian"I'm going out!""Where are you going now?""None of your business, don't wait up!" The front door slams with such force that I swear the windows shake as my wife hurries off dressed to party while I sit in the house with our two children.I've never been against her having a night off or blowing off steam, I've always encouraged her to do it, nor have I ever minded the nights where she's been out so late that she ended up staying over at one of her friend's houses but lately it seems to be her only interest. I don't remember the last time that we went on a date night or even cuddled up and watched a film once the kids in are in bed."3... 2... 1" My brother Jack sings out and on cue, Sophie starts to wail, her mothers show of slamming the door once again waking her up. I let out a sigh and run my hands through my hair. She does this every time she leaves not giving a fuck that it wakes our daughter every goddam time!"I've got her." Jack quickly gets up from the couch and h
Christian1 year later"Where the fuck is Jack? It's almost 10!" My brother Callum grunts out, he's been in a shitty mood all morning and our youngest brother isn't helping things."I haven't got a clue but he wasn't in his room when I went to wake him at 7.""Been out getting his dick wet no doubt!" Callum grunts out while rolling his eyes.I chuckle at his response "Wouldn't be surprised!""Christian there's a phone call for you!" My mother Ruby shouts across the field to me. I love my mom with all I have but Jesus that woman has a bell in every tooth, then again raising 6 kids including 5 boys is bound to do that to you."Pull Star in and start washing her down and I'll be back to do her shoes." Callum nods before heading outside for one of the new additions to our horse family and I quickly run towards the house."Hello." I pant into the phone out of puff from running so fast."Hello is this Mr Bowen?""Yes, it is. Who is this?""This is Miss Thomas from Blossoms pre-school. I'm c
ChristianI swallow back my anger and focus my attention on the sight that's in front of me. The sink is full of dishes and I'm pretty sure I can see flies swarming around them. There are clothes scattered across the kitchen floor and empty food boxes are littered across the breakfast bar.I look around the living room but it's no better, there are clothes scattered across the cough and the floors are littered with toys and empty goldfish cracker wrappers. All the surfaces are caked in dust and I swear the carpet hasn't seen a vacuum in a good while.I knock on the window and Brody quickly turns to look at me his little face looks so relieved that it tugs at my heart. I knock on the window and point to the door but he shakes his head."Brody open the front door, son," I gently call out to him but Inside I'm starting to panic and get insanely angry once more. We have been here a good five minutes and while I'm at the window Jack is still knocking on the door but there's no sign of Amy
Christian"Hey princess!" Jack chuckles as he catches Sophie after she runs to him and he just about manages to stop himself from toppling over. He looks at me and he must see the anger on my face as he quickly sets her down before standing up."Hey, Buster why don't you show Sophie your dinosaurs, I'll just be in the kitchen with your dad ok?" Brody nods before gently pulling Sophie into his side and Jack's in front of me in seconds."What's going on?""I don't know but look at her!" I turn Katie around and open up the blanket so he can see her back and he now looks as angry as I feel."Fuck she must have been in that diaper for hours!" I nod before turning my attention back to my kids that are giggling away on the floor. What the fuck is going on here?"Brods where are Katie's diapers?""I don't know Daddy I tried to find some so I could change her but there wasn't any." He looks sad like he's done something wrong but I can't help but feel proud of him. I don't know what's going on
Christian1 hour later, all the kids are fed and dressed and Katie is now cleaned up and in a new diaper although I think I'll bathe her again when I get her home. Cal turned up with the horses just as the kids were finishing up their food and Brody got on Nemo with him while Jack and Sophie rode Elsa.And now I'm on my way to the school with Katie as Amy still hasn't turned up, not that I want her around any of the kids right now. I know I won't be able to control my mouth, and that's not what the kids need to witness right now including Katie. still, I have called her and messaged her but there's been no answer and the longer time goes on the less surprised I am becoming.I pull up outside the preschool and gently take a sleeping Katie out of the car seat, I lean her across my chest, and as she tucks her head into my neck and rests her arms on my chest my heart tugs. Fuck I love this little girl so much and I'd be lying if I said that there hadn't been moments where I wished she was
Molly"Welcome to Dallas/Fort Worth international airport the local time is 8.30 pm. For the safety of the passengers please remain seated with your seat belts on while the seat belt light remains on. Please take caution when removing any overhead luggage and please make sure to take all of your belongings with you. On behalf of myself and the cabin crew, we wish you a great time here in Texas and we hope to see you soon.""I am so tired!" Tom groans as we stand ready to get off the plane. After almost 16 hours of flying, I'm with the guy, it's been almost 19 since we left the hotel in China and I'm fucked but luckily Tom's home is only 30 minutes from the airport, and boy am I glad for that! "Food, shower, and sleep are all I'm doing as soon as I get home!" He groans again."Tom, are you sure that your parents don't mind me coming with you? I can find somewhere else to stay I don't mind.""I've told you before and I'll tell you again my parents are excited to see you again and more t
Christian "Unkle toms back!" Sophie calls out and before I can say a word both she and Brody are already running for the door. "Be careful!" I shout out to them but I doubt either of them is listening. I pick Katie up from the floor and head for the door to see my brother, I've barely seen him over the past 7 years since he joined the army. Even after he left the army he went to live in Florida with Archie and his wife Molly so I didn't see him much even then. Yes, we had the odd visits from him and spoke a few times a week over Facetime and whenever I had the kids but it still hasn't been the same. Sadly Archie died last year in a house fire and so Tom and Molly went on an around-the-world trip that was already planned, don't get me wrong I'm glad that Toms got to live his dreams of going in the army and travelling the world but I'll be glad to have him home I've missed him! Before they left for their trip Tom phoned my parents and told them that he wanted to ask Molly to move h
Molly "Molly wanta play a dollys?" I'm not sure if I'm still sleeping and dreaming or waking up but I swear I can hear the cutest little voice. "Molllly!" The voice gets louder and I open my eyes to see Sophie, Tom's niece sitting on the bed next to me smiling wide. It takes me a moment to remember where I am as I rub the sleep from my eyes and slowly sit up. "Good morning Miss Sophie." I smile, she smiles back and I have to admit she is a cute little thing. I pick my phone up from the bedside table and check the time 5.05 a.m. As usual, I've not slept much, It seems that whenever I'm in a bed alone the nightmares like to hunt me and it's fucking tiring. "Wanna play dollys?" She asks again smiling and as much as I'd like to go back to sleep I seem to find it impossible to say no to her. "Where's your daddy?" I ask. "He sleeping." She jumps off the bed and stands by the door as her Disney princess nightgown falls to her ankles. "I love your nightgown!" I say to her and this insta