I opened my eyes and found myself in a new, unknown place, I only sensed the warmth and was at ease lying under thick blankets.
Thick blankets…
Thick blankets?
I hate the winter season; it makes my body stiff and tired without even doing anything.
I sprung up from the bed and yawned having a great sleep of heaven.
Great sleep…
Great sleep?
“Good morning…” My body stiffened as I heard a manly voice, I felt my breath pacing upon the hoarse voice and saw him leaning against the door.
“W---what are you doing here?” I asked hiding inside the blanket as a reflex. My body jolted as he walked towards me.
“Well, why can’t I be here?” He smirked and I looked at my surroundings. I didn’t know I was at his home.
“W---what am I doing here?” I queried being mortified of myself; I didn’t look into his eyes recalling what happened last night.
Paradise. Ford. Panic.
“You fainted last night and I brought you home.”
He made it look so easy and this was the second time I forgot about my brother.
“Don’t ever do that… leave me alone, even if I’m dying in front of you, don’t you dare take actions based on your thinking.” I screamed in dismay; my brother is alone locked in that apartment all by himself.
“He’s here… your brother, I knew, you’d be looking for him first thing in the morning. I brought him here.” My steps halted hearing him spurt out nonsense from his damned mouth.
“Why would you do that?” I yelled at him; he again took a stride at me with his hands in his pocket.
Unbothered. Delusional. Treacherous.
“Should I have left him alone? He was beaming with happiness as he saw me outside his door.” I was barely holding myself in, why would he bring an innocent child in the middle of armed men?
“Jamie… don’t go inside, Grace is angry…” I heard my brother’s faint voice and turned around watching him enter inside with frightening steps. He was scared of me, he perhaps heard me yelling. I sighed.
“Of course not, why would I be angry at my little star?” I smiled jerking the disgust from earlier away and lifted him in my arms.
“Because I came with boyfriend uncle…” He kept on fidgeting with his hands and the corner of my eyes yelled to look at the mafia smirking.
“Boyfriend uncle?” I whispered in frustration, my mind not processing what this guy teaches my brother.
“Okay, say bye to him, we’re leaving now.” I patted his head, my nerves boiling to a 100 degree and I gritted my jaw with utter repugnance. I started leaving as Grey waved him a huge bye with happiness.
I stormed out of his house on a whim, my eyes burning with fury and annoyance.
I don’t know for how long can I put up with this. It is only getting hard now; Grey is getting attached to that man.
Why can’t I find a reasonable reason to deny him for good, why is he acting this way or have I known the wrong definition of mafia all along? I went back inside my house.
“Grey, get ready, I’m going to drop you off at school. No more holidays.”
He nodded and went inside the bathroom, I’m glad I’ve got a decent brother who listens to me.
But I don’t want him to fear me, the way he was fidgeting today was scary, he shouldn’t hate me just because I sometimes, lose myself.
That crazy bitch, I fucking hate you for leaving us all alone. If only you acted a little mother-like.
She gave me nothing but pain…
I cooked us some breakfast and we left for his school. It was time to look for a new job, every day is a new hustle that I have to go through.
ME: Hey, what about the part-time job I asked of you?
I texted Jess, my stylist and the only friend I have.
JESS: Uh! Yeah, I talked to him, I’ll send you the address now, by the way… the manager is really angry since you vanished into thin air last night…
He texted me back and I gulped in fear since I’m doomed for sure now.
I directly rushed to the address shaking the weird thoughts away.
“Uh, could you please wait?” The waiter went to talk inside and after a little while called me along too. I sat there being as quiet as possible.
“We were looking for beautiful girls like you, it attracts more customers.” Their manager said walking towards me.
“Can you start right now?” He asked I nodded, both of us knowing what he meant.
Their only want and need is sex, fortunately I'm loaded with it.
He sat back down on his chair; this is what I do. This is how I get paid and I’m not ashamed of doing it. I ambled towards him and sat on his lap.
“Your bonus depends on how you work, are you good enough?” He whimpered under my touch as I trailed my finger from his filthy face to his bloated stomach. He got hard as soon as I laid hands on him.
“Let’s see if you remember even your name later on…” I bit his grimy neck moaning as loud as I could. We did it on his table, his chair, and on the floor, until he was satisfied enough and lose all his senses.
“So, do I expect a solid pay?” I kissed his lips sliding my panty up. He nodded still out of his senses. “I’m Mason.” He shrugged standing back up and fixed his clothes.
“There are some clothes, put them on, and you’re hired.” We talked a little bit more about the details, about its timing and lunch break which signified how often I’d be having sex with him.
“You’re way too good, more than Jess told me…” He smirked.
I started working as a waiter, this was a café called ‘Mr. Cafeteria’, I’d be getting paid monthly with over $1000 per month. It seemed like a decent place, the only problem was the hungry manager, which is not at all a problem, to be honest.
I worked from 11 in the morning to 5 in the evening and quickly hurried back to my brother’s school. I knew my life is only gonna get tough from now on but I’m not scared of hardships anymore.
I waited for Grey outside his school and he shrieked in joy looking at me. This isn’t the first time I’ve come to pick him up, what is he so happy about?
He was running towards me, towards me and I opened my arms wide… towards me- ran past me.
“Boyfriend uncle.” He shrieked with joy and I turned around. Huh?
“You came together with Grace to pick me up?” The fucker picked him up in his arms, I didn’t like Ford as a name, I mean fuck it but I don’t even like him so I hated addressing him by his name.
“Are you so idle? How about you find a job instead.” I clenched my fists in anger, the wrath on my face was so outrageous that for a moment I didn’t bother hiding it.
If only that was fine but my nerves wrecked when I gazed behind him. There was a huge black Limousine and two Ferraris parked adjacent to it with men dressed in black. Oh! For fucks sake, I want to die.
“What are you doing? This is a school, are you here for extortion or something?” I tried to snatch my brother from his arms but Grey kept on holding his collar trying to resist me.
“There’ll be a huge traffic soon… do you want to create a scene in front of your brother’s school?” He was enjoying the pain in my eyes, the way he ruined my calm, I see death approaching him.
It was now standing on his doors and his devilish smirk just unlocked it.
He grabbed my hand and besides smiling I could do nothing. I sat in his car not wanting to create a scene.
I tried to disappear when it comes to Grey’s school, I didn’t want to show people that I even exist because if someone knows the kind of work, I do, his life will get affected by it.
“Here put them on…” I took my headphones out and placed them on Grey’s ear. As soon as he got busy, I turned to that leech wanting to take all my anger out on him.
“Mr. Ford, I’m so done with your nonsense, I’ll report you if you are anywhere near me within five meters of radius.” My eyes were red, I could feel my veins pulsating as I moved my mouth.
No one has ever made my brain boil like this before and the only coping strategy I knew was to kill him.
But his gesture told me that my threat had no effect on him, saying, as if he’s scared of the police. And how dumb I was to even threaten him.
“Listen, you have a huge superiority complex so I think you don’t understand what a ‘no’ means. It means that I’m never going to agree even if I have to walk on fire or freeze myself in cold. You get out of our lives before I get angrier than this.” I screamed while he sat there listening to it.
Calm. Lucid. Unbothered.
“So, you can sleep around with that cheapskate of a manager for a few pennies, but not me even if I give you a hundred-thousand-dollar cheque?” His voice was low but pretty demanding. His eyes simpered though his words inflicted rage and fury.
How did he know I slept with that manager? Has he sent someone to follow me around?
Life and death, it doesn’t come with a warning, dreams and nightmares are the same. Because I found him standing before me, nightmare? No. My death. One moment I was dying with pleasure and the other, I had Levi’s words ringing inside my head. The notion called sanity has turned into just vague and timid emotions for me. Not him but his death haunts me, and at times like these? “You okay?” His brow rose up, worry cascading on his face, I want to nod, I want to say yes but I can’t. And I'm guilty, I'm feigning ignorance. I don’t want to face the look he’s having right now, the look which is not sympathetic, because my eyes, they speak a different language than usual. The thought of thinking about Levi in an indecent way never struck me before, and by this am I, am I breaking Phoenix’s heart? Am I, am I cheating on him? With a dead person? I want to shut these thoughts down, because I know I love him, but by any chance do I have feelings for Levi at the same time? No, no, I'm
The value of life for me has become ambiguous. What is life other than days of death and nights of haunts? Isn’t it better to just end it? When all I see is dick waiting to be shoved inside some pussy. But I didn’t know, killing someone would make my soul bright. I feel reborn. I feel invincible, I feel like I can take over the world and nothing, nothing scares me anymore. “Where were you?” His hoarse voice was enough to tell me the storm I'm about to face soon. A hint of rage coursing through. I looked around the dark hall, no one but a sound, a sound, anger, ire, fury, Phoenix. Words that don’t go along with him were what I felt all together coming at me. And before his frame, the bright caramel eyes appeared within the dark. I gasped. “God, you scared me.” I tried to mock it off. “I scared you?” He growled and sluggishly ambled at me. His hands crossed at his chest, waiting for a justification I don’t have. Of course, I'm not going to tell him I killed someone, and I’m ha
I love Phoenix, but remember when I said that maybe I'm ready to give up on my past and start a new life with him? Forget it. Because I'm not ready. I never will be, the fluid named vengeance runs as blood in my veins and I’d be dead if not for it. I had hope, in the basement. Revenge was that hope. You see, I never lied when I said, I am a beast. The names on the diary, Archie killed them from the first page, since he’s locked up at Levi’s mansion, he couldn’t have finished them off. So, I’ll start from the end. Phoenix doesn’t know, he shouldn’t. He’s right, I don’t do walks, because I kill. But when did it start? When I had finally given up on this diary, I was about to throw it off the bridge. To start anew, fresh, road to unicorns and clouds and skies and everything bright. The water as blue as the sky, the sky I wanted to touch, and that day I realized I'm not meant to touch it. I took a deep breath, I had Phoenix’s poems, his emotions printed on his book, I don’t need
Grace- I’m not the narrator, this is my story. And I choose how I live it. However strong I may act, deep down I recall the moment when I held the gun before him and I didn’t feel powerful, I felt like a traitor. Weapons that sometimes make you feel invincible, take your strength away. The gun that’s supposed to save you, take your life, and all you see blood scattered around, his blood, Levi’s blood. So, the power I felt was nothing but my fears gushing inside to press the trigger and take his life. And no matter how hard I try, his face, is always before me. And the agony of his words never seems to fade. He said, he doesn’t know fancy words to woo girls, and I want scoff at him and forget about it. But it turns out that he is a liar, a rather professional one. I’d be lying if I said, I don’t think about him, I want to lie though. But whenever I close my eyes, a loop of memories hit me and as if I had less nightmares to live, Levi’s face added as a dressing on the top. My b
Levi- I’d lose to her endlessly but, I would never lose her. I don’t fucking care, how many wounds I get, or how many times I have to reincarnate. But for her, I’d come back, every time. Did I love her to let her go? Who the fuck am I? A stupid protagonist? Let her go just to see her smile, to hell with that. If only she killed me, or ruptured a spleen, made me frail even to walk, so that I had reasons to stop looking for her but, now that I’m alive, I will look for her. I won’t wait for that silver lining; I’ll fucking bring the clouds down and see if she was sitting up there. “Don’t people drown themselves in alcohol at times like these?” I wonder how he managed to come out alive, when he had a rib broken, a dislocated shoulder. “You consider alcohol as a numbing agent, but I want to feel every inch of my bones shatter, I want to feel this pain.” So that the grief shrieks with joy and tells me it was worth the torment. So that when she mends me, I could feel the joy of being
This is the diary that Grace found in her room. The diary with poems, figured, you'd want to read it.I met a girl today, beautiful and beautiful and beautiful and everything including beautiful. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I should or else I don’t know what to name this.Tragedy of souls that binds,that blinds,and all the wounds she gave me,wounds that I don’t mind,wounds I don’t hide,I confide,and just want our bodies to collide,and make her mine.Say you hate me,say you want to kill me,but never say,you want to leave me.If I vanish one day,remember to find me in your heart. If I could give you the world, I would.I should,But you are my world so,how I could?The way she moves her hair, like she’s calling for me. The way her laughter fills the room, I want to go deaf to the world’s gibberish.I believe I have fallen in love, and I‘m still falling... the only sound my heart can hear is... ’Make her yours.‘I’m unfamiliar with love,however, I’ll try ev