Chapter 2

"Zach, you're finally here. Addy woke up, and I'm sure you're the one she wants to see the most, right, honey?" my mother said as all eyes turned to me. I raised my gaze and instantly locked in with his. He's staring at me with anything but love in his eyes.

I want to jump into his arms, bury my head in his chest, and comfort myself like I used to, but seeing him like this makes me unable to do so.

Zach, you are so cruel. Are you even slightly concerned about me? Why… when did your love fade? What did I do for you to change your heart? The only thing I do is love you; you are the only person I love.

Now I want to yell at him, complain, and tell him how miserable I am. If he still has feelings for me, maybe this will torment him like he's doing to me. I really want to do it.

However, I didn’t. Instead, some words escaped my lips.

“Who are you? Who is he?” I uttered those words with the most innocent and clueless tone I could muster.

Finally, an expression flashed through his blue eyes. His brows knitted, and he stared at me with something hidden in his eyes; a look of disbelief filled the room. As if what I said was a bomb that exploded all over the place.

My gaze is fixed on him as he approaches the bed and comes to a halt right at the foot of it. Looking at me intently, as if trying to figure out if I'm lying. I didn't back down; if acting as if I've lost my memories can get you too much attention, I'll gladly do so. I'll do it even if I have to deceive myself.

Zach, you made me this way.

“You really don’t remember me?” he asked, staring right through me. His expression has returned to that of indifference. I purse my lips and lower my head, not daring to look him in the eyes. I'm afraid he'll figure out right away that I'm lying.

The tense atmosphere didn’t last for long as my mother’s voice rang once more, her hand tapping my hand with her thumb. “Honey, can’t you remember? He’s your husband. How about me? Do you know me?” she gently spoke to me as if I were delicate, which perhaps I am right now.

I raise my head and look at my mother, her gentle and warm expressions that should have comforted me but for some reason don't. Why is that? I don’t know what’s going on. Due to my silence and only staring at her, my mother’s expression gradually became emotional as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.

“Addy, I’m your mom,” she introduced herself, then nodded and spoke in a coaxing tone once again. “It’s okay, honey, you’ll remember,” she assured me, then spoke to the doctor.

I didn’t say anything again, somehow acting as if I didn’t remember anything to give myself room to calm down or something that I myself wasn’t aware of.

During that time, I remained silent while my mother discussed my condition with the doctor. I can feel their gazes on me, particularly his.

He never takes his gaze away from me and stares at me as if observing me. How I tried not to meet his gaze and look at him, my anxiety creeping in and exacerbating the pain inside.

"Honey... honey, are you okay? Do you want to rest now?" I lift my head and nod, looking at my mother.

"Uhm, yes," I responded for the first time with my voice, which was hoarse and mellow. My eyebrows knit, and I suddenly felt unfamiliar with my voice. Is my voice always that gentle?

"All right, we'll let you rest, but don't worry, okay? We'll do anything to make you remember," she assures me once more. I only nodded; perhaps the reason I'm acting this way in response to her affection is that I feel guilty for also deceiving her. Yes, that could be the reason.

As I glanced forward, Zach and I locked gazes. He’s only standing there, not saying anything or looking at anyone besides me. Is he suspicious of me already?

I swallowed, my throat tightening from the anxiety. No, I am so desperate now. Being with him now makes me miserable, but being apart from him will be the death of me. I know for sure, Zach is my life. My entire being screams for him as if he is the only reason I'm alive right now.

Since then, I've become aware of how unhealthy this is. My love for him has gone beyond obsession at this point, but I can’t help it. I’m too dependent on him, somehow, loving him is almost become synonymous with breathing. I’m drowning from this love and he is the only one that can save me.

Our gazes locked for a few seconds before I averted my gaze and cast a glance to the side where some of my family members are standing. I observe them for a moment and notice that the initial surprise from what I said earlier has faded.

It feels like… they are used to it. I look at their faces, trying to remember who they are. I remember their names, our memories together, and even some of their birthdays, but a part of me sees them as strangers. Why? Did the accident really give me some complications aside from the amnesia I made up?

They saw me looking at them, and they all smiled and said something; I didn’t bother to listen as I immersed myself in such thoughts. I turn away and concentrate on my clasped hands. I'm surrounded by people I know and care about, but I can't seem to feel any affection for them. Does that even make sense?

It seems that the car accident indeed left something, or do I still have a concussion?

"Addy, let's get you some rest, okay? We'll come back later," my mother says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I nod and try to smile at her.

"Yes... m-mom," I respond, calling her by her usual address, which suddenly becomes awkward to call her by.

She became emotional again and caressed my hair, saying, "It's okay, my baby, you'll be fine."

I'll be fine? Yes, I will be. I’m only confused, that’s all. I nod at her again, and my smile widens. That smile probably calms her, and she smiles at me.

"Then we'll—" before Mom could finish, someone interrupted her. The room fell silent, and my heart, which was beginning to relax, pounded hard. Hearing his voice again causes all of the walls in my heart to crumble. No, I don't have any for him; after all, he owns every inch of my being.

"I'll talk to her, just the two of us," he said calmly, his gaze fixed on mine. At this, I raised my gaze forward, which immediately met his eyes.

“Uhm, yeah, you can. But… Addy–-”

"I won't do anything to your daughter," Zach said, a mocking tone in his voice.

"Of course, I know that," she sighs, not minding Zach’s tone, and caresses my head, "but, honey, he's your husband, so you can ask him any questions you want."

I nod and give my mother a small smile.

Soon, we are the only ones left in the room. Silence filled the room for a few moments. I'm even conscious of my breathing and terrified that because of the silence, he can hear my heartbeats.

I raise my head and bravely meet his gaze. His observing eyes are still fixed on me; I suspect he's doing this to figure out if I'm lying. This causes my nervousness to spread throughout my body even more.

Allowing him to know that I'm faking my amnesia at this point will only kill my hopes. I did everything I could to keep him from leaving me, and I'm not going to stop now. I'm willing to kill myself in front of him right now if it means he'll stay with me.

"So, you're my husband," I said, breaking the silence. Fortunately, despite my unstable emotions at the moment, my voice did not crack or tremble.

He stares at me, and a playful smirk appears on his face after I say that. My grip on the covers tightens slightly as I brace myself for his harsh reaction following that smirk. Why... why are you torturing me like this?

You used to be so… gentle.

He closes the gap between us until he is at my side, Zach standing while I sat.

"I won't be anymore after our... divorce," he replied, merciless as ever. I had a feeling he'd bring it up. However, I remain hopeful that since I have only recently awoken from the accident, he will at least allow me to recover.

That one word shatters all of my emotional control, as it pours into me and triggers something within me. I became disturbed immediately, my ears began to ring, and the murmurs in my mind returned.

My hands in the covers become visibly tighter, causing the white fabric to wrinkle. I stare at him, still trying to be rational in the midst of all those emotions; I don't want to blow my cover and say something I shouldn't. I’m desperate, yes… So damn desperate.

“Why… I can’t remember anything.” I responded, playing my role. I wasn't sure if my acting was easily seen through or not, but in any case, I'll play the fool until he gets tired and decides to believe me.

"Stop playing your games," he raises his brow, and the playful smirk on his lips vanishes as he leans forward slightly, "with or without amnesia, we're getting a divorce," he whispers, almost like a devil whisper, or perhaps he is for treating me this way.