Chapter 1

Loud sounds of continuous gunshots echoed as well as curses, they came from all over the place. However as I tried to listen clearly, I found that I can’t. I’m there and yet I’m also not.

I raise my aching head, and narrowed my eyes, only to not have an effect on the surroundings as it’s still not clear in my eyes. What is happening?

In my hazy vision as if sands obscured my sights, another gunshot resounded and is followed by a loud thud of the body falling in front of me, even some of the blood splattered on my face. Strangely enough, I’m not terrified and my heart beats as calmly as always.

My gaze landed on the body, sprawled in my front, blood painting the whole image. Then I raised my head and looked around, unbeknownst to me, blood and dead bodies are scattered around me. The horrible scene can even make one faint and yet for me, they all seem… normal. Why is it? How can I not feel frightened by all of it?

In my reverie, a dangerous shout woke me up. My gaze immediately look in that direction, and as I did so, I stiffened and almost froze for a moment. In a span of seconds, the scene changed and so is my perspective. In my eyes, I’m now looking at everything from below and difficulty, as if I’m lying down. Perhaps, I really am. I don’t know, nothing of what is going on I can understand.

Is this a dream? How come it’s so vivid? I watch what is happening through my heavy eyelids and almost blood-red vision. My breathing slowed down as the first thing that caught my attention is the man, kneeling on the floor, his face and body are covered with blood and yet his eyes dangerously shone in the light like a beast that is ready to die in a fight.

His raised head and menacing eyes glared directly in front of him. I also glance at the one he is looking at, however, I can’t see the face of the man standing just between us and only can see his back. For some reason, this scene gives a lot of emotions inside me unlike earlier. The man kneeling, even more, sends a lot of unspeakable sensations that I can’t comprehend.

The only thing I know, although I can’t see his features clearly, my heart knows who he is. I wanted to open my mouth and make some sounds to let him know I’m okay and yet no matter how I try, no sounds came out of my lips.

Helpless, the only thing that I can do is watch the scene painfully and fight my fading consciousness.

“I’ll kill you… I swear… I’ll kill you,” the deep and hoarse voice came out of his lips, the tone is low and yet the rage and resentment can be heard through it. As the man said it, he spewed some blood and almost fall over, and yet he doesn’t let himself be and put his hand as support.

Then the man standing replied with a malicious laugh, at the sound almost me and the man kneeling raises our gazes and glared at the man.

I can’t even understand anything or remember any of it, for some reason, I know that I despise that man. I wish that I could kill him. Wait– kill? Can I kill someone? Why am I calm with that thought?

With only a few seconds of distractions, the scene now progressed further, and I didn’t know what happened earlier or what made the dangerous man kneeling on the floor so agitated that he yelled insanely and his blood flowed more intensely.

I watched as he raised his trembling hand with the gun and pointed at the man, blood dripping from his hand onto the floor. The man standing does not appear to be afraid at all; however, I have noticed that he does not appear to be that different, and he is also covered in blood.

"Shoot me, do it," he laughed, so insanely that he collapsed to the floor as well, "Do it, or she will die. I'm the only one with the antidote," the man threatened. The tone became lower, and his malicious laugh vanished.

As if that threat hit the mark, his trembling hand fell lifelessly to his side, and the sound of the gun falling to the ground clearly sounded from the silent room.

Despite my weakness and almost fading consciousness, I still notice how he glances at my side as if he is looking directly at me. For a moment, I am so sure, our gazes met. However, I can’t see his face clearly. Only his menacing green eyes, tinged with pain, stared directly at me. Obviously, I can't see his face clearly, but those eyes are too clear in my mind as if they are already registered in my brain.

He opened his mouth to say something, but before I could hear it, my ears painfully rang. In pain, I quickly shut my eyes, and my head began to throb.

It's some kind of torture that squeezes my brain; the pain is so intense that a groan escapes from my mouth, followed by some blood. I reached out to my head and touched some moisture with it, knitted my brows, and tried to open my eyes.

The first thing I saw was a crashed front car... confusion began to creep into my being. Wait, why am I here? Clearly earlier… wait, what earlier? As I tried to recall something, excruciating pain invaded my mind once more, and tears welled up in the corners of my eyes.

My hand gripped the steering wheel; everything hurts, and I'm almost unconscious at this point, possibly with a concussion. As I tried to recall what I wanted to remember, my eye was drawn to a piece of paper. Suddenly, all the confusion vanished.

As if on cue, or a trigger is sent to my brain. Memories flashed through my mind. I reached for it with my trembling hands. Blood smudge the paper from my hand, divorce papers.

Yes, divorce papers. A car, a crashed car. Yes, I escape— no, I drive without a mind and suddenly an idea struck me. What if… something happened to me will our divorce be delayed? I know it’s a crazy idea. But I can’t let go of him. He is my life; I’d rather die than be apart from him.

That is what happened: My mind immediately agreed with that conclusion. I’m sure of it.

The pain that my brain sent me became more intense, as did the whispers in my ears. My heartbeat pounded, the word divorce agitating my emotions.

No, I'm not going to let that happen. My fingers crumpled the paper while tears streamed down my cheeks. “Zach… you are mine. You said you'd be with me forever. Why? Please, don’t leave me.” I murmur like crazy as though some kind of mantra.

My body trembled, and sobs echoed throughout the car. The agony in my body, mind, and heart persisted. I tried to endure the pain by clenching my teeth and closing my eyes.

Divorce. Divorce. Divorce. Those words aggravate my pain, and I am unable to concentrate. They seem to be triggered by something in order to make me even more miserable.

I clutched my head and yelled, "Stop! Stop! Stop!" I even yanked on my hair, which made me groan, but it worked. I actually want it as my consciousness begins to falter once more. At the very least, the pain will be gone.

My consciousness is fading, and with it, the pain and murmurs. Throughout it all, a voice in my ear whispers. It's deep but gentle, "Sleep, my love."

For some reason, this voice comforted me, and the pain gradually faded until the darkness consumed me completely.

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My body feels uncomfortable, as though it’s heavy, and I can’t open my eyes so easily. But I tried, and slowly my eyes opened, the surroundings are still blurry in my eyes until they gradually became clear.

I locked eyes with someone almost immediately. She is looking down at me, and as my eyes and hers meet, she appears surprised for a moment before becoming delighted.

"Addy! You're awake!" she exclaimed, gently taking my hand. "Addy is awake! Call the doctor!" she exclaimed joyfully as she looked to the side.

The room soon became noisy, and I took advantage of the opportunity to stare at the woman in front of me. A woman who looks only in her forties has a good figure and even a beautiful appearance. I can recognize her, it’s my mom.

"Addy, can you hear me? What do you want?" she asked gently as I only stared at her. I don’t know, but even though I can recognize her, and that she is my mother, something within me feels so estranged. Perhaps, because I slept too long.

We weren't alone for long, as the doctor and family members entered my room as well. They watch with bated breath as the doctor begins his examinations, while I remain silent.

Throughout it all, my gaze wanders around the room. Only one man is the one I want to see in the room, waiting for me to wake up. Zach, my husband. However, I didn’t see him. As my hands gripped the quilt, a throbbing pain infiltrated my insides once more.

Where is he? Why is he not here? Am I really not that important to you? Unknowingly, a pained expression appeared on my face.

"Addy, are you okay, honey?" A warm voice woke me up again, and I raised my head to meet her worried face. “Doctor, my daughter looks in pain. Are there any complications?”

"Well, she just woke up, so we'll still run tests to see if there are any complications from the accident," the doctor responds, a contemplative expression on his face as he looks at me.

The conversation is cut short when the door opens and everyone looks in its direction. An almost nonchalant man enters the room, his noble temperament exudes itself throughout the whole room. His gleaming blue eyes met mine as he looked up. He stared through my eyes, his whole existence easily trapping my soul in the palm of his hands.

I know, in this life, I can only love him. Zach, my husband.