Live Suicide

THE WORLD is overflowing with the sins of human beings. Pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth are the sins we often commit in our daily lives. 

As a person who has nothing to do except to submit a great deal of transgression, wouldn’t you want to do something good once in your life before you die? 

“Confess your sin!” he said with an authoritative voice while holding the camera in front of me.

I looked at him and noticed that his body was full of tattoos and scars, as if he had been through a lot of pain to become like that. He’s dressed in a plain black sleeveless shirt with a small tear in it where a sharp object has cut it, perforated trousers, and black shoes.

I stared at the camera and looked at my reflection in the lens before speaking. “I did something inhumane to my sister’s best friend.” 

The man stared at me as he frowned. “Tell me what you did!” he command with a deep voice. 

It swallowed me up in nervousness when I heard I had to say the stupidity I had done.

“I raped my sister’s best friend, and she’s currently pregnant...” I took a deep breath before I continued speaking, “But we’re still both students, and I can’t afford to raise her with our future child.” 

A deafening silence filled the surroundings for almost a few seconds after I let go of the words, but the man also broke the silence. 

“Do you think this is the right thing to do?” he asked with a playful grin on his lips. I know it’s not right to end my life just because of a mistake I made, but it’s better than living with something bothering my conscience... No, I’m just running away from the crime I did.

 “I don’t think I can live again with peace in this world...” I stopped while thinking about the consequences of my action. I closed my eyes firmly before proceeding to speak. “H-Her parents are going to sue me, and my family can't accept me! They shoved me out of the house, so I lived alone on the street!” I felt the corner of my eyes was watering, so I wiped it out.

“Right now, I’d rather die than rot in jail!”

Laughter filled the room I was standing in as the man holding the camera continued to laugh while holding his stomach. 

“Hmm, Today’s generation of young people prefers to flee from their mistakes and crimes,” he said with a playful voice as if it was a pity that we lived in the world.

I bite my lower lip to control myself from bursting. You don’t know what I went through!

I calm myself and took a sharp deep breath. 

I looked at myself and saw a miserable person standing. I was wearing only thin shorts and a white shirt that almost turned black. I only wore one pair of slippers on my feet because the kids took the pair to play with them and threw them on the roof of the house. My hair was messy, and my whole body was full of grease and dirt. So how could he say something about what I have been through in life?! 

“Do you know what you’re going to do here, kid?” his voice suddenly became serious. “This is not a game where you can choose a restart button to live again once you die.” I swallowed hard. There is no turning back. 

What is the purpose of my life if I get locked up in jail until I die? There seems to be no difference between getting imprisoned for the rest of your life and death. I would rather kill myself than live full of pain and sorrow. 

No, let me rephrase it. I would rather run away by killing myself than deal with my crimes in prison.

If ever I get captivated, will my family visit me? I’m sure they would rather want me to die than see me in prison. Just who am I to them? Hahaha. I was just a disgrace to my family, abandoned by a friend, cheated on, and looked down upon in the eyes of the people.

Sometimes I just wonder what is the purpose of my life? I’ve never chosen to be born, so please kill me already. 

“Hahaha...” I laughed to myself when I thought about it. Did I live to experience all the pain and suffering in the world?! I wish I had died when I was young, if my life had been like this. 

“I would rather die than rot in jail,” I said in a stiff voice. Why should I spend my time in jail? I want to die.

“Are you serious about your decision? Once I open the comment box, the poll will begin, and the person with the most money to trade for your life will have the authority to determine how you will die, and you cannot withdraw,” he said seriously as if he wasn’t joking. 

It’s scary and frightening, but this is still my last run. It’s either I will die in prison or I will die in front of these elite people who are using their money to watch me get killed.

“Kill me,” I said seriously, without the tone of backing out. The man just sighed, as if I disappointed him with my answer. I know only cowards will flee from the offenses they made, but it’s still better to be a coward than to face a problem you can’t solve. 

“I will do what you please,” he said before he adjusted the projector connected to his laptop where the comments of wealthy people could be seen.

They’ve been filming me for a long time now, and people are also watching me live, so I’m sure many people were furious with me for wanting to commit suicide. I know it will be difficult for me to be here because I will be nothing more than a pawn in their hands, but I came here with a definitive decision to commit suicide.

I sole hope that Carmina remains unaware of the circumstances of my demise. I only wanted to instill in her mind that I was a cowardly man and incapable of dealing with the matter.

I am a man who enjoys causing havoc but is reluctant to face the consequences of the problems I have caused.

“All sets are ready,” the man announced after he arranged everything needed to be used for the program implemented by live suicide. 

I swallowed hard. There it is, there’s no turning back.

The man turned to me and looked at my whole body from head to toe and grinned as if another person was going to die just because of an insignificant thing. 

The man stepped closer to me and uttered a word that broke my heart. “Look at yourself, you’re pitiful...” he whispered slowly in my ears before he walked past me. I’m not sure if he said that out of sympathy for me or as a warning that I would be remorseful if I fell into their clutches, but his words are enough to shatter my heart because I, too, am wallowing in self-pity.

He opened the comment box before speaking. It filled the comment box with various comments after he opened it. I read a hateful message about why I wanted to die and there was also one in my favor?

Comment box:

@Mr. Rex  

You know, son, you’re an animal, not because you’re cute, but because you’re a pig!  

Methods of killing: drown yourself. 

Rewards: $300,000 

Replies:

@Amelia Beischel  

This is the animal you just want to be extinct in the world. 

@AnnMicaela Vignor 

I love animals, but there are always exceptions. 

@Bryce Co  

Don’t compare him to animals because he’s a piece of sh*t. #IAmZoologist

+1000 replies. 

@Amara De Lucia  

That is why I would never allow my daughter to marry a commoner!

Methods of killing: Hang yourself. 

Rewards: $400,000 

Replies: 

@Beau Hudson  

No one cares about your daughter. 

@Nicolas Verlice  

I’m sure your daughter is unattractive, which is why she attracts only the common folk’s attention. 

@Brigitta McLean 

What the hell is going on with these guys? So what if her daughter isn’t as attractive as you believe she is? At the very least, she had a mother who was concerned for her! 

Beau and Nicolas replied to Brigitta McLean. 

@Beau Hudson  

Get the hell out of here in Live suicide. No one is interested in your sweet love letter. 

@Nicolas Verlice  

Maybe even a commoner doesn’t like you. 

+1000 replies. 

I still read a variety of remarks, and I witnessed someone bickering in the comment section. Sometimes something enters my mind while reading their grievances in the comment box. I’ve been told that I’m a nasty monster and the son of Satan. When I read that, I almost burst out laughing.

Who could be worse than us? I know what I did was wrong, but at least I admitted it to myself, unlike some who pretend to be saints when they are worse than the devil. 

I understand that acknowledging my sins will not condone my transgressions against the law, but their actions are also unconstitutional. Who would be kind enough to watch a man die right in front of them and even order it themselves? They gave me so much solace. 

Before I could get lost in my mind, the man in front of me suddenly spoke. 

“I’m Adrastos, your host for today’s night, and I’d like to welcome all the viewers who are watching this life. Before we go any further, I’d like to introduce our fellow suicider for the evening, Mister, What is your name, and would you like to give our viewers a brief introduction about yourself?” he said while giving the mic to me. 

I’m stumped. I do not know that I need to introduce myself. I still don’t want to talk about myself. 

Even though my hands were trembling, I took the mic in Adrastos’ hand. “H-Hello! I am Alejandro Valencia, and I am 19 years old. That’s all, thank you!” I said while stuttering. I handed the mic to Adrastos, and he looked at me as he frowned and raised an eyebrow as if to show ‘just like that?’ I just nodded and averted my eyes. 

He took my mic. “Hahaha! Our suicider for today appears to be a shy individual. But he’s Alejandro Valencia, a 19-year-old man from Manila. He wishes to commit suicide because he is terrified of being imprisoned for the rest of his life. Ironic, isn’t it?” he jokingly said to the audience. 

Live Suicide notifications rang several times, showing that many people had chats.

Comment box: 

@Jannethe Villa 

Hello life imprisonment or go to hell? I choose the latter. 

@Raniel Noel  

You are afraid of life imprisonment, but you are not afraid of sin? Perhaps there is something wrong with your head. 

@Avianna Young  

Mister, you’re still a kid. However, you committed an unpardonable sin against a woman.

 +1000 reply

I still read a lot of negative remarks about myself, but I don’t care anymore because it is over. Their words are meaningless to something that has been done unless they have a time machine to turn back time, maybe, I can use their futile words. 

Adrastos coughed to get the audience’s attention. “Hmm, I feel your hatred and disgust for this man, so while your anger remains. Why don’t we start yet? Comments your methods of killing and the rewards!”

Adrastos smirked. “Whoever has the biggest money to trade for his life will be the one to follow!” 

Messages emerged in the live suicide comment box after he released the statements. I could feel their outrage and desire for me to perish. 

Comment box: 

@Mischá Revue 

Man, I despised you! I just want him to die as soon as possible. Methods of killing: Shoot yourself in the head with a rifle.  

Rewards: $50,000

Mischá, I don’t give a damn if you die out of wrath. Not only are you enraged with me, but I’m infuriated with myself as well.

@Revan Zanetti 

I like your guts! You choose to commit suicide today because you knew they would torture you in prison before killing you. 

Methods of killing: Overdose yourself with a drug.  

Rewards: $100,000 

Only a moron would think that he’d never be tortured and murdered in prison after he violated your family’s only daughter. Even if I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I knew they’d do everything to retaliate.

@Amara De Lucia 

I’m willing to spend a lot of money just to get rid of this man! Just to at least reduce the number of men like you in the world. 

P.S. I don’t give a damn about those guys who say my daughter is ugly because she isn’t! She’s the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen. Methods of killing: Hang yourself.  

Rewards: $400,000 

Beau Hudson and Nicolas Verlice replied to Amara De Lucia.

@Beau Hudson  

Only in your eyes.

@Nicolas Verlice  

She is beautiful in your eyes but not in ours.

Someone’s typing...

@Beau Hudson 

Perhaps someone will respond with an LSM again. The lengthy and sweet message that we don’t care.

Someone’s typing...

@Nicolas Verlice  

Hmm... The good girl, but bad b*tch?

@Brigitta McLean  

Shut up, you two! I have spoken nothing, yet you’ve already said a lot.

The number of messages in the comment box is growing, and the amount of money is escalating. I’m terrified, but if you ask me again if I’m planning to continue doing this, I’ll say yes.

Adrastos picked up the mic and spoke. “I can tell from your replies that you’re looking forward to his demise. But initially, I’d like to look at the individual who has the most money to trade for his life.” He gazed at the comment box and suddenly nodded. 

“Hmm, Okay! I’ve seen the one with the most money released for this man’s life. The winner is Mrs. Amara De Lucia! She wants Mr. Alejandro to die by strangulation or hanging!” He clapped and had confetti. 

“Let’s congratulate Mrs. De Lucia for winning this poll! We’ll be back in a few minutes! Prepare yourself, because when we return, we will condemn Mr. Alejandro Valencia to death. See you again!” was the last statement he said before the live suicide advertisements were aired. 

After he spoke, he immediately approached me. “Alejandro, the money you get is worth 400,000 dollars. To whom do you want to give it? Don’t worry, because we won’t take a single peso there,” he said seriously. 

“Please give half to Carmina Angeles as compensation and a half is to my parents,” I said in a low voice. 

My body gradually weakened, and I sat down on the floor. My eyes welled up with tears, and I sobbed as I embraced my knees. Only my sobs could be heard throughout the building, and no one approached or attempted to stop me. Adrastos just looked at me blankly because he couldn’t do anything. After all, he didn’t know what I was going through, and he didn’t care at all.