Chapter 3

I stood at the window watching. A part of me glad that she would be gone soon. Not that I could comprehend for the life of me why it mattered. I told myself it was because she wasn’t good for him. She had nothing to offer him, no personality and she was possessive over him when she had no right to be. Hannah didn’t know Zain. She knew the energetic party guy that everyone else knew. She didn’t know are care, as far as I could tell, about the gentle, kind man with a dark past he kept hidden away. She wasn’t worried about his mental wellbeing. She needed to go home and leave my friend alone. She was constantly showing up everywhere he was. Which meant everywhere I was because we do almost everything together. Really only spending time apart when we have work. Nights and weekends are ours. It never fails, within 30 minutes of him posting from our location she shows up. It almost always leads to her needing to talk to him in private. Dragging him off from our fun.

Finally, her fluffy blonde head ducked into her car and she backed away. Zain heads for the house without looking back. I quickly step back from the window and tip-toe run back to the table and took a seat. The last thing I wanted was for him to know I was watching. I would look like a fool. Everyone else has gone to bed so no one was there to witness my ridiculousness. Thank the heavens.

“Hey” I said looking up from my phone that I had quickly opened as Z came through the door. Zain looks tired and a small bit of guilt hits me at the thought of me causing him to have to reassure or comfort her. Only a little bit because although I hate to admit it, the rest of me was glad I spoiled her plans.

“Did I cause a problem between you and her?”

“No, she isn’t happy, but it isn’t a problem. It’s not that serious.”

“What is she asks you to choose?”

“Choose what? Between you and her? There is no choice.”

Why did I open my mouth? Why was I worried about this? Stupid drunk, traumatized brain. I know I am just afraid of loosing my anchor right now. I don’t want to be left alone in the dark again. I promised Ryan I wouldn’t break and there is part of me worried that if Zain chose her over me, it would break. He was my saving grace. His friendship meant more to me then I could ever say.

“Yes, what if she asks you to choose between me and her?”

“Love, as long as you stand at my back and choose me, there will never be a choice. It will always be you.”

Shit, that hit different. Surely he just means as a friend. Zain has never acted in any other way towards me. Never stepping over any lines. Nor has he ever made any comments to make me feel he was thinking of me in any other way. Stupid overthinking drunk brain.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

We climb in Zain’s bed and he quickly falls asleep. I turn to my side away from him. My mind is going a million miles a minute. I am still trying to figure out why I am acting the way I am. Suddenly Zain’s arm wraps around me. We have slept in the same bed many of nights. His couch was uncomfortable and there was no way either of us was sleeping on that thing. Add to that the number of people that come in and out of the house all night. We both have too much trauma for that. Listening for his breathing, I realize he is dead to the world, unaware of his actions. It doesn’t take long before I succumb to exhaustion and pass out.