CHAPTER 40 Furyo (不慮)Furyo (不慮)Translation: AccidentalOrigin: Japanese40I got myself busy and studied my lessons during the rest days of the week. I tried to avoid seeing him, I would eat dinner earlier than Tracy. I would do it on purpose or I would go out alone just to avoid seeing Nick. I keep on reminding myself that it's for the best. I know it's for the best. It might actually help me just a little bit to get over this feeling I have for him and I wish it would at least help.Now based on the way things that happened last Wednesday, I doubt that he actually cares much for me. He didn't even try to call or text me after that night. He completely treated me like shit.If I did something wrong that he didn't like, I expected that he would eventually explain it to me what it was or at least tell me what the hell upset him so much that night, but no he didn't bother telling me about it and I really hate it. The last thing I got from him was the slamming of his bedroom door after
CHAPTER 41 Stultus AnimiStultus AnimiTranslation: stupid feelingsOrigin: Latin41The glowing sun was slowly rising up in the dull morning sky as the sunbeams were casting down on the window pane. The light was growing more and more vivid making the sky more and more radiant as the glowing sphere climbed higher and higher into the sky. But as beautiful as the morning starts before my eyes, I knew today was going to be horrible.I was still inside Nick's car. I was still with him. After what I told him last night, neither of us spoke to each other anymore. I didn't try to say anything because I think I already embarrassed myself too much in front of him. I didn't even catch any sleep because I couldn't sleep at all. I couldn't sleep knowing that he didn't say anything to what I said. I'm still inside his car and he's still sitting down right next to me. We acted like neither of us existed.The car was parked right before the cliff where I could see the entire city below. My head was
CHAPTER 42 Green-Eyed MonsterGreen-Eyed Monster- jealousyOrigin: English42I miss Nick.Terribly missing himI keep on getting myself busy with my studies, exams, assignments and projects. Though time to time, Nick passes by my mind but I would quickly shake him off. It has been almost four weeks since the last time I talked to him. Almost four weeks since he dropped me home. Almost four weeks since I saw him.I was completely being delusional that I could handle it when he'll tell me that he never wanted more cos I thought if I'd give him time maybe he would come around but he's not.Tracy, Clyde and I would have dinner together but he wouldn't show up. Sometimes Alec would join us but Nick never did show up even though every night I hope he would. Every night I join dinner with Tracy hoping he would pop out of nowhere like he always do but he's not. He's clearly avoiding me. We both know we need this time and space from each other but the more days pass by, the more I miss him a
CHAPTER 43 CarapherneliaCaraphernelia- a broken-heart disease that occurs whenever someone leaves you, but leaves all of their things behind43"Tell me to leave." He says.I didn't answer."Push me away. Treat me like a complete shit like how I treated you before." he says.I didn't answer again.He looks at me and my eyes couldn't look away. Oh Nick I can't do that. Even if you hurt me, I can't hurt you like that cos I love you and I'm too scared of pushing you away cos I know you won't come back."Make me leave Savannah." He added.I shake my head, my words are not coming out from my lips and I don't know why."If you'll tell me to go then I'll go. I'll leave you." He continues as I feel his breath on my neck. But I shake my head once again.His arms were wrapping around my entire body. He's hugging me close to him that I can't seem to move away cos I love our position. My arms were on my sides. I'm not hugging him back. I don't want to feel anything attached to us anymore cos I
CHAPTER 44 Nunchi (눈치)Nunchi (눈치)- the subtle art of listening and gauging others' moods; the ability to know what not to say in a certain social situationOrigin: Korean44"Yeah I'm going." I say.Tracy looks at me. "Yes!" She rejoiced.I tried to comb my hair and gaze at my own reflection. I'm obviously preparing myself for tonight because I know I need to party and unwind."Been wanting to hear that coming from you without being forced by me." She said while laughing.I smile as I fix my mini skirt. She looks at me. "Wow. You're showing more skin.""Is it a bad thing?" I asked.She shakes her head. "No. You'll definitely be a jaw dropper. I love your sleeveless too. It looks so fancy."I smiled. "Thanks."I let Tracy put make up on me but not too much. Just a little make up that looks like I didn't put any make up. When we were done preparing, we headed out of the dorm and got into Romeo's car. Penny was there as usual but I really didn't bother her presence as if she wasn't her
CHAPTER 45 NazlanmakNazlanmak- pretending reluctance or indifference when you are actually willing or eager; saying no and meaning yesOrigin: Turkish45"What are you doing here?" I closed the door behind me.He stands from my bed."And how'd you get in?" I arched an eyebrow."I always have a spare key in this room."I looked away from him cos the more I look at him, I always remember what he said to Alec. It's getting harder for me and him being here is making me so confused."Why are you here Nick?" I demanded but I'm still not looking at him."You heard everything?" He asks."A while ago?" he added.I couldn't answer him. My tears are filling up my eyes again. I blink rapidly so I could stop my tears from falling. These are always gonna be tears of hurt caused by Nick. Tears of shame cos of my shameful decisions that I made. I feel shitty about myself cos Nick made me feel shitty.Nick starts walking towards me and reaches for my hand. I'm still not looking at him. His huge soft
CHAPTER 46 Sarang (사랑)Sarang (사랑)- (n.) love; lit. "I wish to be with you until death."Origin: Korean46NICK'S POVEIGHT YEARS AGOI parked the car and we got back home to where we should be. This was our home, temporarily, but we'll find a place to call our own when we have the money. Maybe just an apartment or stuff like that. The party wasn't what we exactly expected it to be."I'm sorry." Catherine speaks to me.I opened the front door for her and we got inside the house. I placed the car keys down and starts unbuttoning my jeans."You don't have to be sorry." I say.All of a sudden she hugged me from behind. "I'm sorry about what my father said to you. He just went too far."I exhale."Why didn't you tell me about Hans? You're still together?" I asked herI feel her arms slightly pulling away from me. I know she's guilty of what I found out. I don't know if they were still together or not but I'm so jealous. I'm so mad. I'm not mad at Catherine but I'm mad at myself cos I'm n
CHAPTER 47 KalopsiaKalopsia- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really areOrigin: Greek47SAVANNAH'S POVI was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon."Savannah. Good to see you here."I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick."Can I share a table?" He asked.I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."I nod.Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?""Fine. Thanks." I answered.He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I con