Love In Campus

A D A M

It's been raining for days now. The rain keeps pouring out day and night, leaving me always cold and crumpled up in my bedroom for a week. So I haven't been outside the city until tonight when I decided to grab some coffee instead of ordering it online.

While the raindrops fill the streets, and as I wait for the pedestrian line to open in a green light, I stare at the girl from the other side of the sidewalk. She stands there wearing a pink floral dress on with her long sleeves that hang low past her elbows. Her eyes are hiding under the umbrella and the reason I am staring at her is because there's something about her lips. The way her deep pink lips rest still in an emotion-less line. There's something about them. Her hair spreads in soft curls on her shoulders.

The cars are still loving from the other direction and we are still waiting. Patiently. I tear my eyes away from her for a second. She doesn't make a move even once. She just stands there with her hand on her side, while the other is holding her grey umbrella.

I wonder what it would feel like to walk past her.

Just when the pedestrian light turns green, the cars stop running. The people in front of and behind me shuffle to cross the street. I wait for her to walk before I make a move.

Then she starts walking almost I can hear the clunky sound of her heels. I hold tight on my umbrella as I come near her.

I want to see her face, even for once. I have to know who this girl is across me.

The rest of the people and places become blurry in the background as if they were meant to be forgotten for a while.

When we are about to pass each other, she lifts her umbrella. My heart begins to pound, uncontrollably, from my chest along with the light thud of rain above me when I see her whole face. Her round eyes, beneath her delicate bangs and her beautiful lashes, meet mine.

They bring me back to the time when she refused to smile at my joke because she thought it was pointless.

I remember that very gloomy day on the rooftop. Her sad face. Her teary eyes, but she refused to cry in front of me because she thought it was pointless too.

I remember.

Everything seems to move so slow as we face each other at this second. The wind blows her hair to her side, which gives me a clear understanding of her delicate look. Her cheeks are shaded pink from the coldness. Then, she lightly bows her head down as we walk past each other almost like I can hear her harsh take of breath.

But that's it. We just walked past each other. I just walked past Naya Kim. Her soft sweet floral scent still trails behind her and clings onto me.

I can still see the way her eyes flash on me even when they're gone now. I am not sure if those eyes have recognized me at all. She must have forgotten. Or, at least, remember a little.

It feels like the pedestrian is so long that all I want is for her to cross over safe. That's all. The lights turn back to red, as soon as I reach the other side. It's the longest time I had crossing that street.

And the hardest part is seeing the girl I loved and shattered just walked past me as if she never knew me at all. As if I become a complete stranger without a name she used to know so well.

I wish I brushed my hair before I went out. At least to give her a good impression of me after four years.

Before I proceed walking, I stop and turn around to see her. But she's already gone.

I always wonder how she was doing all these years. If she's doing good after all these years. If she's happy. If she's lonely. If she's still broken. Or if she's finally loving someone else now. Someone she truly deserves.

I wonder if she remembers me if even that means remembering the pain I caused her. I wanted her to happy. I wanted her to be able to see life again as bright and beautiful. But it all failed out.

I know that I hurt Naya Kim. And I regretted it since that night. The one night mistake that destroyed both of us.