Old Habits

*ERIC*

“Mimi, please don’t make me go,” Kayla pleaded while tugging on Jamira’s wrist.

Jamira looked back at me with those dazzling, big, brown eyes of hers.

I looked away because I knew I’d give in if I didn’t.

“Come on, Eric, what’s one more day?”

“She’s not mine to do that with.”

“Didn’t you take her without permission?”

“That’s not the point. Kacie already said she was coming to get her.”

Jamira turned to Kayla and held her cheek.

“Sorry, little one, I tried.”

They both looked like two sad ass puppies who never found their forever homes.

“Come put your shoes on, sour patch.”

Kayla pouted as she reluctantly put her shoes on.

“It’s okay. I promise I’ll come and get you again.”

She gave a half smile and sulked all the way to the couch to wait.

I went and gathered her things, making sure she left with everything she came with.

I’ve never seen her so sad.

And yet, it was nothing I could do.

That cut deeper than any knife could.

At the last minute, Jamira decided it was a good time to bake cookies before she left.

When they both got to the kitchen, I went and got the bottle Jamira tried to hide in the couch.

I slid it in my pocket.

Ayana stood in the doorway of the spare room watching me.

My eyes drifted to her.

She shook her head.

I walked over to her.

She backed up.

I took another step.

She backed up again.

“Eric, no. Mira’s my friend!”

Taken aback, I suddenly realized what she meant.

“Oh my God, Ayana, eww. What the fuck?”

“You kept walking up on me—wait, what you mean eww? And what the fuck?”

“Ayana, focus!”

She smacked her teeth.

“What do you want, Eric?”

I pulled the bottle from my pocket.

She looked me up and down.

Her ass knew something. That I knew.

“Where did this come from?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I looked her in the eyes.

She let out a sigh.

“Fine, I found it behind the bed the first night I came here.”

I stood there stunned as I thought about what she said.

I tugged at my hair.

Ayana tilted her head.

She clicked her tongue and threw her arms up.

“Jamira didn’t tell you about it did she?”

“No,” I said devastated.

“I told her ass she couldn’t keep hiding shit from you.”

I rubbed a hand across my chin.

Stuffing the bottle back in my pocket, I left the room and went to the bathroom to throw water on my face.

When I exited the bathroom, there was a knock on the door.

I walked towards the living room, but paused in the doorway.

There was another knock.

Everyone was suddenly suspended in time.

As I opened the door, frustration immediately took over my body.

I turned on my heels and began walking over to get Kayla’s things.

“Kayla, your mom’s here,” I said, my voice dry.

Kacie never walked past the threshold.

“Are you gonna stand there or are you gonna come get your daughter you harassed me about?”

She stood there fidgeting. Not to the point she was glitching, but just enough for me to notice. And I did.

“Well, come on in, Kacie,”Jamira said, concerned at this point.

She hesitated before she came all the way inside.

What the hell was wrong with her now? I swear it was always something. Sure I was still upset, but I wasn’t going to bite her.

Besides, we’ve been through far worse than what went down at Walt’s house.

“Kayla and I were making cookies. It’ll just be a few more minutes.”

Kacie nodded. Good.

I walked over and grabbed her arm, leading her to the spare room.

“Let me talk to you for a minute.”

We got in the room and I immediately pulled the bottle out of my pocket.

“Oh shit.” Ayana said from across the room.

“What the fuck is this, Kacie?”

“I don’t know, Eric. It’s yours so you tell me.”

“You know what the fuck I mean!”

“Uh-uh. What the fuck Y’ALL got goin on?” Ayana said, clearly invested.

My body became stiff as my blood began to boil.

“Ayana, come out.” said Jamira.

Ayana walked out of the room, but kept the door open and sat in plain view.

I looked over at Kacie, still waiting for an answer.

She stood there biting her lip.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Why is it empty? Why were you in my shit?!”

She sat on the bed and crossed her legs. She never made eye contact with me once.

“I…I was stressed, okay!”

“About what?”

“Work, the baby, Josh. I don’t know, Eric. Pick one.”

That name made my blood cold.

“So you decided to self medicate?!”

“Eric—“

“Are you fucking dumb?”

“No,” she said, crying. “I just wanted the pain to go away.”

“So you take my pills?”

I rubbed my temples.

“Eric, please,” she said as she reached for my arm.

I yanked it out of her grip.

“That was a three-month supply. THREE MONTHS! I won’t be able to get another prescription for two months! How many were you taking?”

“I don’t know. Two.”

“In one day!”

“Every few hours.”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KACIE!”

“Eric I’m going through some shit.”

“That doesn’t seem to stop you from putting other people through shit.”

My jaw clicked as I tried to shove down my anger.

“Be honest, Kacie, are you using again?” I asked as I searched her face for any indication that she was high in that moment.

I think I would’ve preferred for her to say something. Anything. At that moment I didn’t even care. She could’ve quacked and I would’ve been fine.

But she didn’t.

She didn’t say anything at all.

That made things so much worse.

She just left the room and walked out the door with Kayla.

“Mmm mmm girl. See that’s that white people shit.”

“Hush, Yana.”