In the wee hours of the morning. When I try to stand up, my legs feel jelly and I give up on standing. I lie still on the bed rewinding the day and what the hell just happened now? My mind is all back. Whatever happened yesterday was an in-the-moment thing, but the reality of all of it is back. I should not have slept with Luciano with all this going on. My plan to get someone in my pants worked. But it has gone sideways because I am in love again and this time around with this man lying beside me in bed. I have brought another heartbreak and pain to my heart once again. Maybe I should have been honest from the start and we would not have been in the state. I am also blaming myself for having sex without telling Luciano the whole truth that made me come to Casablanca. That I came all the way to get myself pregnant by deceit. And by the way, I have fallen for him. I want to assure him the plan was no longer what I wanted if I had him by my side.I now know what I have wanted all
Tears are flying down my face. Hurt, pain, and disappointment are all eating me up. The Mafia wants to get hold of these biochips. I was sacred of the doctors getting hold of them. What about the Mafia? This is very bad. It was all the plan since day one to give them the prototype for the biochips. But how naïve of me. I gave them more. I gave them my heart. What did I do so wrong? That I am always falling deeply in love with the men who don’t just break me. But kill me inside. Destroy every hope of my heart getting better.I cry out loud and I shiver as I sob. It feels too cold in the jacuzzi. I stand up, out of the jacuzzi and pick up a towel and wrap it around my body. My head still trying to wrap out why he would do this to me. “Was this all part of your deal with your uncle? Sleep with me and trick me to make me do what you want? “He trusted his nephew. A murderer…. and you are doing great. Have you told him I almost escaped? I almost succeeded that day. “You should thank th
Luciano is one hell of a narcist. In between all this, he still knows where to get me. He pulls me, then brings his lips to mine. Kissing me tenderly and eagerly that I almost forget everything, but I am reminded it is my body reacting to a lie. It’s all a lie. We found the feelings in lies.“Please stop this…. please…”I push him away from me and continue to sob loudly. It hurts so much. It hurts more to think he could be capable of hurting me like this.“Look at me… Tell me you do not feel this connection I am feeling. Please tell me I am not making this up. I have fallen madly in love with you, Keirah. Talk to me. I want to know Keirah. What does all this mean to you?” “If I tell you. Will that change anything.?” “Talk to me. Make it make sense. I do not understand.” “I do not have any feelings for you. I never did. All I have felt for you is pity.” “Do you accept me to believe that?” “It is fine by me. Whatever you believe sounds okay.” He tries to walk to me, and I halt his
Keirah’s POV Patience is not one of my biggest attributes. I need a superpower to read my doctor's mind on all the results of the medical examination I am constantly taking.Any part of my body diverging from its normal working routine is beyond a red flag for me, hence why I am always visiting my doctor so often.I had a few courses in college and also did a very innovative project in medicine to help me with my biomedical engineering. Nevertheless, I am obsessed with being healthy.While other people get a headache and feel like it is normal. It will get better if they rest and drink enough water.My mind thinks I have a brain tumor or a terminal illness. I am a terrified human being for my health.I will do anything to just make sure I stay healthy forever.In my usual extreme reactions, a simple headache makes me set an appointment with my doctor, doctor Fabian for a checkup.The downside with my doctor is he can never go straight and say hey it's just a headache, take these medic
Pinning down the results I just got from Doctor Fabian on my crazy wall. I run through different cards pinned on the road map of my plan. Double checking, when my phone rings, I walk up to the kitchen to pick it up. “How did you find out?” My mom’s voice shouts on the other side with frustration creeping into the voice. Ugh. Back at it again. I have learned firsthand the hard way about bad parenting from her. Observing all the mothers I know closely. I wonder why I was so unlucky. She is a nightmare. I haven’t seen or heard of a mother like her. Whenever I get a phone call from her. I am guaranteed that anything she has to say to me means harm than good.Making sure she is the first one to hurt me more first. Before, the rest of the world joined in with her to slap me in the face. All her phone calls remind me and are continuations of the torture from that day five years ago. She was the first to call me with the same frustrated voice. Revealing to me with no concern for me
I seriously don’t see anyone I know in person as a potential target or of help in this plan. This plan is a secret I will carry to my grave. My fellow nerds have walked with me side by side from my early years in college to now in our workplace. And I don't see myself with a nerd husband or partner on this, too. Honestly speaking with all my coworkers, I have not seen the real fatherly genes anywhere near them. Ask them code and you get the right answer. Ask them about diapers and some might need G****e to know what that is.I wonder whether my lifestyle, which is divided between my office and my home, is the one that has caused all this loneliness in my life. Or it's just life that has thrown lemons at me. Excelling in every aspect at work goes all the way to excelling at home. Excelling took another road for me with relationships. Cooking and dancing are all that have been consuming my time around my house for years now. My lifestyle. Get home from my nine-to-five jobs, cook
Some people call me a virgin, especially my doctor, but I partially think I am not.Because I have had marvelous sex accompanied by a lot of orgasms by myself for as long as I have been active. At my age, being a virgin is not a weird situation for a nerd like me. crazy bitch. My mind is shouting as I continue with my plan to have sex with a random guy. Not only the books, and porn but also pap smear taught me. I need to have at least physical or mental attraction with the guy for anything passing in the lady parts to work its way up easily. My body and mind must be at peace when all this goes down. Which makes my plan increasingly complicated. The way he communicates and makes me feel is important. To make an experience, I won’t regret as I walk through my path of motherhood. The sound of the notification on my first match on my laptop bar brings my complete attention to the task at hand. Five minutes in and someone is interested. THIS IS A MIRACLE. My heart is pumping high
Every man I am looking at in any match, I involuntarily look for Erede first in that man. It is sick, I know, but my preference is Erede as a starting point to search for Erede first in every love interest I encounter. Every match I have let through to me had something like him, whether physically or in how he addressed anything. It hurts to see me destroyed like that, even with just a thought passing through my head. I feel broken.My mother’s words ring a bell through me. ‘Why can't you stop liking him?’ That is a million-dollar question. If I had an answer or way through. I think I would never see the world with the same eyes. Large wounds I am carrying because of him are heavy. I can’t run away from him forever, I can't run to him, nor can I hide from him for long enough. Because now he is my brother-in-law. He is an immediate family member. Erede’s wound is the largest wound I will carry around all my life. I think this is the biggest reason my love life went sideways from