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42. Midnight rain
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Loveliest regrets 43. Sixteenth of December
Gareth's POVI can't help but admit that a strong scent of her in my sweatshirt is still present, but I don't mind. Last night, I kept my sweatshirt that she wore, close to me as I imagined how utterly blissful her presence would be. How wonderful it would be to sleep with her every night. I enjoy looking after her. I get delighted just thinking about spoiling her. I'm not sure how that's even feasible.I wouldn't be able to meet her because it was the weekend. I was working in my office, but I couldn't stop thinking about how I wouldn't see her face today, which upset me. Everything becomes so easy when she's in my reach, when I know I'd be able to hold her soon. I don't understand how she does that. How her presence feels the most peaceful place to be in. Touching her soft skin is so satisfying.Every time I consider her, I struggle with my identity. Am I acting appropriately? Am I stalling her future? Am I the correct person for her? 'The one' for her, am I?These questions seem to
Loveliest regrets 44. Nothing underneath
Briar’s POV“Do you like churros?”“Hm?” He looked up at me, while I was leaning on his desk in front of him. Almost ten o’clock late at night and he was still working in his office. He usually asks me to hang out with him, even when he has work, which makes my heart warm.“We can make them together.”“You want to?”“Hmm.” I smiled and he chuckled.“You need to stop being so cute.” I could not help but chuckle when he poked my nose. “Have you made them before?” He asked.“What if I say no?”“Then I’ll have to order a pizza as well.” He said making me chuckle and continued, “ugh, I love making you laugh.”“Do you?” I said and made my way over to him, while he just watched my movement and after reaching near him, I sat on his lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck and noticing his arms circling around my waist like an automatic movement made me blush.“I actually love it more, when you do this.” He said and I kissed his cheek.“Oh, this is my favourite part.”“Really?” I said and kissed
Loveliest regrets 45. knock knock
Briar's POVSince it was the weekend, I was in the dorm. Never have I wanted a weekend to end so soon. However, this time was unique. I tried to meet him—but was unable to. I tried to see him—but was unable to. I kept checking my phone as I tried to get the will to text him but did not want to bother him. Why would he make time for me when he has so much else to do? Even though I know he cares for me, I do not want to bother him only because I missed him because he might be busy. A little too much.I sat on the desk, completing my history assignment because everyone had already submitted but Mrs. Jones had granted me two more days to submit my work because I was busy with other student council duties. Though I had time, I was determined to do my work before time as to maintain a good reputation in front of her.It had always been my utmost admiration for her that interests me in the subject even more. Perhaps my everlasting crush on her just never seems to stray me off my path. I stil
Loveliest regrets 46. Controlled life
Briar's POV"Are you crazy?!" Gretchen frowned at me. She clearly looked extremely annoyed.She was the one who knocked on the door and as assumed by my intuitions, she knew about me and Mr. Wilson's relationship. I wonder how? But if I ask her at the moment, she'd probably beat the shit out of me. Yes, she would, not even kidding. I had nothing to defend myself with, because no matter how much I try to normalize this, our relationship can never be accepted by people. At least not initially."Do you have any idea what you are doing?!" Gretchen asked angrily and my face was down in embarrassment. "Answer me, Briar! Your silence won't clear my confusion." Her voice reflected the motherly disappointment and sisterly concern.I struggled to find the right words to respond, but it was impossible. What was there left for me to say to her? Who is she to comment on my relationship, should I say? I would go ahead if I wanted her to scream and possibly murder me in the process. She was simmerin
Loveliest regrets 47. Need
Briar’s POVIt had been a few days to our argument and even now, whenever Gretchen finds me going to meet him, a sheer displeasure on her face sits like a crown. Obviously, she wasn’t satisfied with the conversation we had that day, but her situation was helpless, because I wouldn’t stop, and she couldn’t stop me either. Though, a huge part of me felt bad for not being able to talk to her nicely ever since, at least now my relationship wasn’t totally hidden.Gretchen managed to cover up for whenever I went missing and I was taking good advantage of it. I didn’t lie to myself and shamelessly admitted how this temporary arrangement in my head seemed like a beautiful fashion. I was succumbing Gretchen to my plan, and everything sat pretty in my brain and he was becoming a part of every word I had with Gretchen.Like a lost being in a dense forest following a sole energy in order to escape the chaos of life, I was floating in his addiction. Within a stretch of over a month and a half, Gar
Loveliest regrets 48. Secret
Briar's POVNext morning, I woke up all refreshed, expecting that a new day would be better. Although my body hurt, my mind was renewed, giving away how lazy I felt. It appeared as though my weekend's fatigue was still with me. I still continued to push myself as the memory of the last weekend hit me. I missed our little date, just when I woke up.Gretchen tapped my shoulder from behind as I was combing my hair. I turned around and grinned at her in anticipation of her asking me to mend her shirt or inform her of whether or not her uniform was in good condition, but she gave out a different vibe with her expression.I arched my brows in an effort to decipher the meaning behind her look. She was horribly composed while also being shocked. I was frightened since I couldn't read her face. As my breath became uneasy, a sudden feeling of unease crept across my entire body."Gretchen, what is it?" I asked her and she looked at me as her breath became deeper.It felt as if she doesn't know h
Loveliest regrets 49. I'm ashamed of you
Briar's POVMy mind was occupied, I couldn't think about anything. I felt like my inner self was becoming numb as even the smallest sound in the room was ringing in my ears. It was an odd sensation. The fear was too strong. But I was also worried for him at the same time. Yes, it was illogical of me to worry about anyone other than myself at that time, yet I was unable to stop thinking about it. My hands kept shaking as though my body had lost all of its vigour.I could hear heels stomping on the wooden floor and the room felt chilly. Because of the deathly silence, I was sure of what the rumours were about and could hear every word in the area. Everyone was at leisure and had a current ‘hot’ issue to discuss. But I couldn't possibly care less. I had something more important to think about. My parents.I have no idea how I will respond to their questions. It would be an understatement to say that I was frightened because the thought of not being able to look them in the eyes while we
Loveliest regrets 50. Absence
Briar's POVI could feel warm sunlight hitting my face as I walked in my neighbourhood. A place I loved hanging out at whenever I came back home in vacations. But today that road looked like a curse to walk on. Dad didn't utter a word to me the entire plane ride. Although he was completely silent, his words rang in my ears constantly. ‘I’m ashamed of you. I’m ashamed of you. I’m ashamed of you.’The more I considered it, the more I wanted to cry. I was being consumed internally by this guilt. Just because I followed my heart's desire, why have I had to endure so much sorrow and suffering?We arrived at the front gate after I dragged my feet around the driveway. I recall how this location had a distinct atmosphere only a few months ago. I was incredibly drawn to the slight scent of grass and the freshness. But right now, everything was excruciating, to even just sit there.I took a deep breath as mom quietly gestured me to come inside. I followed both of them inside, only to make the b
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