Chapter 5: True Feelings

Marahang ibinaba ni Gael ang bottled water sa bedside table ng kanyang kama. It's 2 o'clock in the morning. He should be sleeping dahil maaga pa ang trabaho niya bukas. But sleep is elusive when his whole being is full of unrest.

Bakit hindi? Nasa harapan niya mismo si Charlie, sleeping peacefully like a beautiful angel she is on his own bed.

A soft smile formed on his mouth.

Gising na gising siya subalit pakiramdam niya nananaginip pa rin siya. Bakit hindi? Bukod sa galit ito sa kanya dahil sa ginawa niya rito noong debut party nito, maraming mga mata ang nakabantay rito. Kaya nga siya nagtataka kung bakit ito nakatakas ngayong gabi... at nagpakalasing pa nang mag-isa.

He huffed and slowly shook his head. Matapos niyon, marahan siyang umupo sa gilid ng kama at pinagmasdan ang anghel na natutulog sa kanyang higaan.

Was it when she gave him her cute heart-shaped pancakes? Or when she gave him her handmade birthday card for him when she was 6? Or was it every succeeding heartwarming gestures she did while they were growing up?

Hindi na niya maalala. One thing is for sure, everything she did, big or small, made him fall for her-- the forbidden princess of the good-hearted people who helped him and his T'yo Berting have a better life.

And just like that, a memory from almost four years ago burned in his mind.

"Gael, gusto kong magtapat ka sa akin. May nararamdaman ka ba kay Charlie?"

Binalak niyang magsinungaling, subalit hindi rin niya nagawa. "O-opo."

"Mabuti kang tao, Gael. Subalit espesyal si Charlie. Mayroon siyang mga responsibilidad na pagdating ng tamang panahon ay kailangan niyang gawin—para sa kumpanya, para sa pamilya. 'Wag mo sanang masamain, Gael. Pero hindi kailangan ni Charlie ng taong mabait lang. Sana, naiintidihan mo ang ibig kong sabihin."

Bumangon ang pamilyar na sakit sa kanyang dibdib—hinanakit na kanyang dinala sa loob ng halos apat na taon dahil sa naalala. Ni wala siyang pinagsabihin ng tungkol sa pag-uusap na iyon. Maging sa kanyang T'yo Berting na madalas siyang paalalahanan tungkol sa pakikipaglapit niya noon kay Charlie, inilihim din niya iyon. Madalas sabihin ng T'yo Berting niya noon na hindi sapat na makatapos siya ng pag-aaral para makaakyat siya sa pedestal na kinaroroonan ni Charlie. Alam niya iyon. Alam na alam niya ang lugar niya sa lipunan...sa buhay ng mga Sandejas. Sa buhay ni Charlie.

He knew if he wanted to have a fighting chance to be with Charlie in the end, he needs to be someone with a name and money. Kaya naman nang ayain siya ni Eric Samaniego, na sumama sa anak nitong si Gray sa training upang maging elite bodyguard ng SSA, hindi niya tinanggihan ang pagkakataon. He knew the pay would be more than what he could have if he'd ever try to look for a corporate job in the city. And that's just what he needed. And so he took that opportunity-- an opportunity to be somebody.

He wanted to be somebody other than the good orphan boy the Sandejas family took care of out of pity. Gusto niyang maging ang lalaking karapat-dapat para kay Charlie. And he was determined to do that come hell or high water. However... he ended up hurting Charlie.

He clenched his hands as a surge of conflicted emotions washed over him. Emotions he thought he was ready to deal with and ignore when he was assigned as Charlie's new protection. He wanted to act as professional as he was trained for. But he just couldn't... not when every bits and pieces of his body longs for her.

Marahan siyang nagbuga ng hininga at sinubukang haplusin ang mapupulang labi nito, subalit binawi rin niya. Her lips had he power to make him go crazy, he knew that now. The sleepless night he have had for the past three days after he kissed her were enough proof of it. And so it is wiser to stay away from is sweet and innocent seductress.

"Goodnight, Charlie," bulong niya, bago marahang tumayo sa kama at naglakad patungo sa sofa na siyang magiging higaan niya sa gabing iyon.

Wala naman na kasi siyang iba pang gamit sa apartment unit niya kundi ang kama, sofa at maliit na dining table set lang. He just arrived home from Morocco the same day he was assigned as Charlie's new bodyguard. Kung hindi pa siya siguro nagpatulong kay Gray sa madaliang paghahanap ng apartment na iyon, marahil nakikituloy pa rin siya sa SSA.

He made a mental note to try and fill his place with furnitures he needed to make it look like a home for the next few days.

Maya-maya pa, tumunog ang cellphone niya. He quickly picked up his phone from the coffee table and read the text message he receieved. It was from Gray, informing him that he already left at the concierge the things he asked him to bring.

After thanking his friend, he settled himself at the sofa and tried his hardest to sleep. Subalit bigo siya.

Paulit-ulit kasi niyang naaalala ang tanong ni Charlie sa kanya kanina.

'W-why can't I just marry you instead of Theo? I don't love him... Why can't you love me, Gael?'

His chest constricted as he remembered those questions. Questions, though he knew the answers, he will choose not to answer for her.

Kung sa ibang pagakakataon, siguro matutuwa siya sa nalaman niyang hindi nito mahal si Theo gaya nang una niyang inakala. Kaya lang, hindi niya magawa. Masyado kasing kumplikado.

Muli siyang bumaling kay Charlie. Three years ago, she was the reason he wanted to desperately change his life. She still is. And it hurts to know that her family will push her into doing something she doesn't even want to do. Now that minute chance he thought he'd have when he left her to make something out of himself is slowly fading into nothing.

Ipinangako na sa iba si Charlie. Mawawala na ito nang tuluyan sa kanya. At wala man lang siyang magawa!

Bahagya siyang natigilan sa naisip. Well, that's not entirely true. He could still do something and it might still change the course of things for them. Or would it?

Mahinang umungol si Charlie, yumakap nang husto sa unan. She's murmuring something he cannot understand. It's like she's having a dream. He remembered she has a recurring dream about the kidnapping ordeal she and her mother had gone through when she was little and would be in need comfort everytime she did.

Was she really having a dream?

Hindi pa man niya nasasagot ang tanong niya, muling umungol si Charlie, humikbi.

He filled his lungs with air and hesistantly walked over toward his bed. Maingat siyang nahiga sa tabi ni Charlie, fighting every inch of his body to not hold her close to him.

Few moments more, she stirred and turned-- facing him.

"Gael..." she murmured her eyes still closed.

"I'm here, Charlie," bulong niya, pigil ang hininga, masuyong hinaplos ang pisngi nito.

She slowly fluttered her eyes open and looked up at him. "I love you, Gael," she whispered half-sleep, lalo pang sumiksik sa kanya, muling pumikit.

Muling napuno ng saya ang dibdib niya. Sa kabila ng lahat, mahal pa rin siya nit Charlie. Mahal pa rin siya ng babaeng mahal na mahal niya,

He gently held her-- feeling her warmth, inhaling her sweet scent.

She feels so right in his arms. Heaven.

And before he could even hold back he said, "I love you too, Charlie. Always."