A married woman.That's what I was now, not on paper though. Slaves weren't ever given any sort of documentation unless they were counting how many we're. Many of us did not even know our birthdays, luckily my mother knew it by heart and reminded me every single year.It was an easy Sunday.I couldn't wear the dress lady Tracy made for me. It was beautiful after I wore it, Master Joshua was furious. He demanded, I go wear proper clothes. I suppose lady Tracy had overdone it. I was glad that I wasn't showing. William told me at sixteen weeks, I would be showing that's why I needed to...— earlier.After Pastor Richardson had finished the Sunday service. He asked that Elliot and I stand up and hold hands. Bible verses were read and we were officially declared married. The slaves weren't allowed to cheer or do anything. Most Masters left but except the Gallagher's and Cunningham's. Apparently to the rest of the elites, this was not important. It was a joke and a waste of time.I watched
Elliot had showed me his room at the Cunningham commune. He shared it with someone else but because today was a 'special' night; they offered to give the wedded couple space. I say this with so much bitterness but I know Elliot does not deserve this. He deserves better, he has been nothing but honest and kind to me."Are you afraid?" He asked because I was just seated stiff on his bed fiddling my hands."Yes... a tad bit.""Don't be, I will be very gentle. Although I have never been with a woman before. I'm very excited."William was right, wasn't he always?"You can remove your clothes and get in the blankets." He said. I did not understand, William always made sure I was wet first by touching my breasts, kissing me and so many other things. I removed my dress and undergarments letting them fall to the floor. I felt self conscious but I didn't seem to care much about what he thought. I was more self conscious with Will but as we did it more and more.. I thought less of it.Elliot see
Over the past few days, things were different between Elliot and I. Not exactly in a good way, he was just distant. I still stayed at the Gallagher house, no one took slave marriages seriously. That's what I had come to realize. Nothing changed in my working hours or working days. The white man did not care. It's not that I really missed my so called husband but when he was awfully quiet for too long without visiting after we had sex. It made me have loads of questions. It gave me anxiety. Were we still alright? I planned to visit him when I got the chance. I would cook him lunch and earn his love back..Will was well..very nice to me lately.—"Stop it.. Will." I giggled as William as he peppered my neck all the way down to my collarbone, up again to my lips with kisses."Please do not tell me about it." He said clearing his throat. I knew exactly what he meant. I did not want to talk about it either. I was six weeks pregnant, I was very sure because I had not had my period the firs
Sometimes we lie to ourselves... I'd like to think we do it often. It's a comforting feeling. At some point, we all want to feel as if we're in control of our lives. Sometimes you're and the rest of the time rarely. If I had known nearly four months ago that my life would turn upside down... maybe just maybe, I would have preferred to stay at the plantations sleeping with swollen feet after each hard day's work. Maybe just maybe, I would not have been ripped off my innocence. I would not have personally known the evil within men... white men... specifically William. He had this look in his eyes that scared me. He also had this look in his eyes that left me wanting. If I said, I entirely hated him then that would render me a compulsive liar. I wanted to hate him, I wanted to be able to walk past him without feeling a pang of guilt.Afraid... somewhat excited with a good amount of anger. Afraid of what people would say.. how everyone would perceive me after they find out. Elliot hating
"I….I..""I d-don't know what to do." I told my mother, she rubbed gentle circles on my back and even after that.. I still could not stop crying. Everything was falling apart. I cried more because I had absolutely no one. My mother did not count, this was the bed, I had made and I had to lie on it."Mama?" I finally raised my head. She waited for me talk.. "Did you even love father?""Honestly..." She looked as if she was in deep thought for some seconds. "Even I, do not know."I simply nodded."Do you love Elliot?" She asked.I only felt bitterness. "I could never!" I spat."I still cannot take that he verily treated you the way he did.""My life would have never been this way... if you had not accepted that I take the housekeeping job."I needed someone to blame, I needed that to comfort myself with lies.My mother did not seem triggered by what I had said. "Just remove it.""What?!""You regret it so I suppose you don't have to go through with this. Worse, that Elliot and William a
"Nase... can I tell you a secret?" Liam brought me out of my thoughts. He looked at me expectedly. I couldn't help but be in awe because I would have a child... with William and I love him. I sound gullible but the fact that I would be having a child with this man, somewhat made me happy. A child that I share with William. The child we made together, it was hard to accept at first because I only thought about the consequences but after I thought... about how beautiful it would be to bring someone into this world. I wanted to think on the bright side and the bright side was. Yes, my mother was right... I will never have William but this child is good enough for me. A reminder that he made me feel things I didn't understand and didn't want to feel... a reminder that he hurt me.We could never be."Yes?""But it's a big secret between dad, Rosy and I, so you can't tell anyone else..""I won't..." I was curious."Promise promise?""Yes." I replied."No, when I say promise promise, you say
The Gallagher man in one room is probably one place you wouldn't want to be in. Not because of Master Joshua but his children were just as shallow.In one corner sat Milton Gallagher smoking and drinking. He had an obnoxious laugh, his beard... I found very distasteful. The first born of Gallagher family. He got along with his father so well infact the two were inseparable bestfriends. With Master Joshua in his sixties and Master Milton in his forties, they just fit like hand in glove. They enjoyed making a banter out of the rest of the siblings. Their laugh made the pit of my stomach rumble with fear—The second born of the Gallagher family, Lady Rachel Gallagher was married and stayed in Winchester with her very wealthy veteran husband. Master Joshua would never approve of his children being married to the lower class. There was one fact that everyone knew... Master Joshua was hideous. Not because we hated him but he was just not a good looking man and so was his first wife. Meaning
The minute he said. "I will be off now."I thanked the father, the son and the Holy Spirit. The thought of them sleeping over did not sit well with them. I could see them, waiting for the lights to be off so they could come for me in the basement. They scared me, Master Milton wouldn't stop with his disgusting gestures, he licked his nonexistent thin lips too often when I passed by. Master Gerald was no exception. William told me to stay in the Kitchen until they left."Better make the most of this weekend. We board for Australia soon. I made sure Peters gave us the finest Cabins.." Master Joshua said excitedly. I noticed how William slumped his shoulders as his father took his cane while his brothers grabbed their coats."Father... I have a profession, I can not just up and leave..." William let out. Both his brothers burst out laughing with Master Joshua."There there my little William..." Master Joshua gave William a pat on the shoulder. "You can always play doctor when it suits yo