"Master William was here, yesterday." My dear mother said with a gentle smile. I did not wish to speak of him. I just sighed..
"What's wrong Nashe?"
"I want to go back home.." I immediately burst out crying. I had been holding it in for so long that being with my mother.. just made me show my vulnerability out in the open.
"It's not easy out here in the field, my child." She rubbing soft circles behind my back. I knew why she was happy for me... My two brothers had been sold off when they were only sixteen and we hadn't seen them in over eight years. That hurt my mother deeply, we had no communication with them.. infact we did not know if they were still with the living.
"I know but—"
"No but's, this is what's best for you. I had to serve Master William's father and it did me good. My husband was treated better and so were my kids. Well atleast a tad bit better.."
I was absolutely taken aback but then it all made sense how my mother had to spend the night else where and—My brothers!"Stephan and George were his kids weren't they?" I gasped my mother only nodded.
"Master William's father must know where they are then?"
"He was disgusted that's why he threw me out of the house and made me work in the field. He sold them because he never wanted to see them again..."
I felt absolutely stupefied, how did I never notice that my two older brothers were of fair skin and their hair was— my mom always made them cut it all off. I suppose she didn't want to draw attention towards them. Above all Master William's father seemed like the devil, I had never spoken to him but I heard of the things he did.. the gruesome beatings he gave, the torturous punishments..
"Did dad...?"
My mother nodded. My late father must have been bellowing in his grave."..he couldn't do anything about it. That's how it is.. if the Master wants you there is no way of going about it."
"Do you still see him..?""Who?" She questioned.
"Master Gallagher the 1st.."
"Occasionally.."
"Do you like it?" I questioned and this made her laugh. "Stop with the stupid questions dear."
I felt guilty.
"You said Master William was here yesterday?" I changed the subject.
"Yes, apparently rumor has it. He wants to permanently buy you off from his father."
There goes my life.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing.. I just don't like being deceitful, I can't keep this up for the rest of my life like you have. I just always thought.. I had a better purpose.. this is all just a cycle." I paused for a bit. "Do you think God will ever forgive us for this infidelity?"
"If God exists.. my question is why would he give us a life like this?"
"Mother, please here you go again with your negative thoughts!"
"I feel they created a 'God' so we slaves could have something to live for especially when we need hope by our side. If that's not the case maybe this God is for white people."
I kept quiet. My mother had always been a very outspoken person. Ever since my father passed on it had just been the two of us and some other older slaves whom I referred to as uncle's, aunts and cousins even though we weren't related in the slightest bit. You find family in the people you see and converse with everyday.
"Has Master William asked you to go down on him?"
Did I mention my mother was a bit of a drinker? well I just did.
"What's that?"
"To put his... in your mouth.."
"Mother please that's disgusting."
"I'm your mother, you can talk to me about anything. I'm most overjoyed that we haven't been separated, it would have killed me if you were sold off far away up west.." The USA..
I hadn't thought of it that way. Obviously Master William's father ran an auction once every year and he would have likely sold me off even to an owner from another country."No.. he hasn't asked that of me and I pray he never does.."
"Is he rough with you?"
I shook my head."You're very lucky!" She gave me a small smile.
"Are those marks on your back from..."
She nodded.
"Why?!" I questioned yet again.
"I suppose that's how he has always liked it. For the other parts it was punishment.. after his wife found out and after I got pregnant."
Getting Pregnant.. my worst fear.
I gulped down a daunted feeling. I would never be able to see Master William's father the same. He sexually and physically abused my mother. What was I expecting? The first time, I met him.. he kicked me to the ground.."As long as I don't look at him or touch him. On the most part.. he is somewhat gentle." I replied, at this point. I knew how good I had it or maybe it just hadn't come to the worst. I wasn't going to mention to my mother that he kissed me and that he allowed me to touch him. I wouldn't—
I was even more disgusted with myself and the things, he made me do.The things he made me feel. I was disgusted because when he didn't come, my core throbbed for his touch and for him to fill me up. I would never tell my mother this. I was ashamed and I hated myself for it. I walked home, it allowed me to think and just to be by myself. I was grateful that I was allowed to spend a bit of time with my mother every Sunday after church at the ranch. There was a pastor, Mr. Richardson. He was very nice, he wedded black people as well.
At church the white would seat on their side and the slaves on their side. Slaves from other ranches, plantations would be able to meet and converse. Slave owners thought this was a good thing so their slaves could mate like animals and they would have an addition to their slaves which meant money. I was happy I had not seen Elliot, I wouldn't be able to face him knowing exactly what I went up to with my Master. I hated myself for it. I felt like the dirtiest harlot there is.
Forget when I said I had it good.Just think of it no more.I nursed the bruises on my face, mainly under my eye. I dare say, as it may be, I deserved it. Master William's had visitors, they had supper here. Upon my serving... the seemingly old aged man grabbed my behind making me lose my grip on the tray I was holding. It all went daubing all over him and his wife. I didn't do it calculatedly, I swear I didn't. I was startled, this had happened so many times to me in my life but I still managed to be startled. It was never something I would get used to.The man continuously said that my owners didn't discipline me enough and that I was a little ungrateful floozy. He also kept talking about my body. He said it was my fault that I wore a dress that outline my behind like that. I did not own any tight fitting clothes, I did not understand what he wanted me to wear. I did not respond as I cleaned up the mess. As soon as I was done, Master William stared at me with so much vile anger. Lady
Lady Tracy was a dressmaker. She worked from home, she had a room where she did everything required. Master William also had his own office. There were two guest bedrooms and yet I still slept in the basement. Sometimes.. I thought Master William wanted me in the basement because of the things.. he wanted to do to me. These words kept ringing in my head.. 'Nothing can be heard from the basement.. you can moan as you please.'My name was called.I hurriedly went to the dining room where I met Elliot. He was smartly dressed in black worn out slacks and a brown dress shirt. His black 4c hair was smartly combed. He gave me a clean white smile. His teeth were so white, they were the highlight from his dark skin. He was a tad bit lighter than myself though."You could chat a little while I go fetch Mrs. Cunningham's possessions." Lady Tracy said with a hint of amusement. "Just don't do what I wouldn't." She warned.I panicked, what if she told him that she thought we were having sexual rela
Just when I was beginning to think, I was off the hook and he wasn't coming. I heard foot steps, steady as to not make any sound. The door slowly closed. I turned to look at him. He intimidated me."Don't call me Master William, it disgusts me." He said immediately cutting me off. You disgust me! I said to myself."Call me Will." He paused. "You make me feel like a bad person which I'm not." He took slow steps approaching me. I did not wish to this close to him. To call him by his name, no!"She will kill me." I finally said. "Is that what you want? You can beat me to a pulp for saying what I'm about to say but I don't care. I will gladly take it. I don't mind dying in fact I really want to die so badly and you would be doing me a favor."He seemed amused, he gave me a smirk. I looked away. I hate this man."I like this rebellious side of you. I was starting to think you're dim-witted.""She won't kill you." He added when I remained unwaveringly quiet."If you love her why are you doi
"You never touch me, William." I heard Lady Tracy whining. The door was closed but as I cleaned the passage, I could hear. "I'm a woman, I'm your wife.. I need to be touched. Liam is five, we ought to give him a sibling already.""I will not be having kids like we're breeding chickens. Liam is enough." Master William arrogantly yelled back. I could tell he was aggravated. I could also tell that his wife was desperate."We said we would have five kids and I'm best fertile now. We planned on a big family remember? Now whenever you're with me... you never cum or you claim to be tired then roll over. Is something wrong? Would you like to see a doctor.""Woman, don't disrespect me like that! It's not my fault you're as stretched out as a rubber band.""Wi..lliam!" Lady Tracy gasped clearly shocked. I felt awful for her. I couldn't wait to be stretched out.. maybe he would leave me alone."I gave you a son." She said in a quivering voice."Yes, I'm grateful for that!""No, you aren't if you
He ignored me.Not just for a day or two but for a week. I should be happy right? I'm not not happy. He didn't talk to me. He didn't laugh with me. He didn't share crude remarks with me. He acted mutual, like he didn't care if I was there or not. I probably sound stupid for trying to get his attention. I would always expect him to say something when we were alone but he did not, he would dismiss and tell me to close the door behind me. I do not know what I did. Before I went to sleep, I replayed everything I said that day. Did I say something wrong? I probably did. Maybe I came off as rude, I just did not understand why he had suddenly become distant.It all made sense when I saw her.I was replaced.Long curly bouncy hair, green eyes and a lighter skin tone. She was obviously the result of an... unwanted affair. She was much more appealing."This is my half sister.. Mary. She will be staying with us for a bit. She will help out around the house.." Lady Tracy informed me.Half sister?
Mr. Durham had his fiftieth birthday celebration. It was a milestone achievement into old age for someone with so much wealth and over seven children with different mothers. It wasn't anything new. I was—Obviously not very not invited.I knew how those always events planned out, I used to help serve every time there was an event at the Gallagher household. People would arrive extravagantly dressed up and powder faced. Socialize for a bit, more like comparing wealth and achievements. They would then gather around the piano for entertainment. Playing piano pieces composed by Oliver Shaw, Thomas Moore. Most of the time they just repeated the same songs like "Coming through the Rye," "Annie Laurie," "Old Dan Tucker" and "Oh, Susannah."... I had them all memorized by head.After their piano sessions they would eat because what's a party without a big meal. They would socialize and simultaneously find slaves to make a banter about or look for a slave to be angry at. The theme never got old
"Jesus christ! What are you doing here..?! Quickly away from me." These were the sour words I woke up to. "For goodness sake get dressed." He hissed looking away from me. I was hurt... but I was expecting it. The alcohol must have worn off."What happened?" He questioned, then immediately answered himself before I could form an answer. "You most probably took advantage of me. You're shameless!"I didn't mind, he had thrown much worse insults at me before. Insults more lethal than this. I looked at the watch at the corner of the room, it was currently five am. Lady Tracy, Mary and Liam would be back soon. I should forget last night ever happened. When I was about to leave he pulled me against his chest."My wife shouldn't know." He said. "I was very drunk. I most probably said things, I didn't mean. Don't let them get to your head."I only nodded, before he let me go.—It didn't take an hour before they were back. They were all seated having breakfast. Lady Tracy was telling her husba
Lady Tracy asked for my measurements the other day. I honestly did not pay much attention to it. Now, here I was wearing the most beautiful dress, I had ever had in my whole entire existence. It must have cost a lot of money and Lady Tracy did not work for free. I thought she was using me as a mannequin until she told me that it was entirely mine for a date."I did not know I had a date?""Elliot paid me his weeks pay. He said he wanted to do something nice for you. He also asked for a day off on your behalf."No one has ever done anything so nice and considerate for me.The fact that Elliot had sacrificed his week's pay just so I could stand here wearing such a elegant dress.. it baffled me. He loves me, I should love him back. I really want to try and return the love he gives me. I want to get to know him more.. basically I want to give this all a try."You look really pretty." Mary said genuinely, it made me feel actually pretty. I did not feel that way all the time in fact rarely.