CHAPTER FOUR; LILY IS DEAD.

It is four in the morning and I wake up to a banging on my door. At first I really think i'm dreaming but after waking up I realize that i'm not.  After checking on the camera I see Jade seated on the other side of my door. I open the door. She looks sick. She is all wet from the rain and her face is puffy and it's clear she has been crying. I lean over and hug her. This makes her start crying her. "She is dead Vee, my sister is dead." I remain in that position as I try to process. All I seem to remember is her sweet and loving face the day my brother had brought her as his girlfriend. We all knew her since we've always been close to her family but we were all so pleased that our families were going to be related. 

We sit on the floor for an hour. I find myself thinking of my brother. I feel sorry for him even if he is no longer alive. "Jade get in, if we continue sitting here we're going to get sick," I stand and hold my hand out which she takes. "No darling. I need to go back. My parents need me around." I give her a hug and watch as she enters the elevator. I open my door but look back  just before the elevator door closes and see her face. She is smiling. I feel a chill deep to my bones. I hold my door for a while before going in. Maybe I saw wrong. She loved her sister, there's no way she was smiling. I must have seen wrong. I try to convince myself but a small insistent part of me knows I didn't. 

It's still early to prepare for work but too late to go back to bed. I go to the closet and retrieve the box that has my childhood pictures. At least the ones the firefighters managed to save on the night of the fire. I make some hot chocolate and begin looking through them. I see one of Lily's and Vincent's engagement. Up to date the only thing I clearly remember about that day was throwing up all the cake I had eaten. Before the throwing up part, it had been a good day. It had been a happy day. It's now past six and I have to start getting ready for work. Just as I am about to stand and go to the shower, I see a crumpled photo in one corner. It's another one of the engagement. It has Lily and Vincent at the center and the rest of us besides or behind them. Everyone is smiling at the camera or at the engaged couple. Everyone except Jade. She is staring dagggers at them. I think of her smile when she thought I wasn't looking. Maybe all these years I don't know my bestfriend as much as I thought I did. 

My first appointment is Avan. I don't expect to see him as he has been cancelling for the past two weeks now. I have left three messages to check if he was okay, none of them were returned. There's a knock, "come in." It's Christine. "I thought you had a client. I need you to sign these forms." I look at the forms and back at her, "What are they for?" "They are to be taken to the bank today. Hurry the deadline is today." I smile as I start signing the forms, "what's the rush? the bank closes at five, and it's barely ten right now" "Have you seen the lines in those banks plus you think this is all I have planned for today, huh?" I sign in silence before she starts telling me of the stupidity of men. "So that's why you're cranky today. Had another bad date." I am in the middle of laughing and she is in the middle of cursing when I hear a voice from the door. "Missed me," I don't even need to look to know it's Avan.

Christine excuses herself and takes the forms. She closes the door behind her. Avan walks and leans over from across my table. I look at him, unable to say anything. I am afraid if I speak my voice will tremble. I try to maintain the eye contact which is not easy. He smiles and that disarms me completely. I look away and he walks to the couch with a smile of victory on his face. "I did not think you'd come," he looks at me for a second then pouts. "Well I missed you  even though it's clear you didn't miss me," "I never said that." I say hastily. "So, you did miss me." he smiles. I think of arguing but choose not to. "Yes Avan I missed you," that catches him by surprise. He stops smiling and a seriousness I have never seen before takes over. I start second guessing what I had just said. "Really, you did?" my heart clenches as I look at him waiting for the answer as an eager puppy waits for a treat. I know I should laugh it off or make a joke out of it. But something inside me cannot bear to break his heart. "Mmmh, I was worried about you," he stands and starts to come closer.

I expect him to stand across from me on the other side of the desk like he had before. He doesn't, instead he comes behind me. He turns my chair and I face him. He leans over and I stare at the thunder coloured eyes. I can feel a storm of my own starting to brew inside me. His right hand is on my thigh. I tense up but he traces his hand down instead of up my dress. I start to relax as his hand lingers on my left calf. After a while he continues down to where my leg enters my shoe. He is by then squatting before me and takes both my shoes off. "Doesn't it hurt to wear such high-heeled shoes the whole day?" I begin to tell him off but I stop when he starts massaging my feet. I subconsiously close my eyes and only open them when the pressure on my feet stop. 

He is leaning over me again. I think he is going to kiss and I pull back. He moves his left hand behind my neck and pulls me in closer. I let out a gasp of surprise, which comes out as a mourn. His cheek carrasses mine before he whispers," I did something really, really bad." That jolts me back to my senses. I pull back to look at him, "Avan, what did you do?" he doesn't look guilty. "I'll tell you all about it once I am finished." he moves back and leans over the desk looking at me. "And when will you be finished?" I ask. I get a lot of patients that would say anything for the attention. But it wasn't him. He rarely ever discloses anything and all the attention he already gets, he doesn't have any use for more. "I wanted to stop but you said you missed me, that changes everything." "What does that mean? What did you do? And how does it have anything to do with me?" he smiles and looks at his wrist watch. "Look at the time doc, our time is up," he walks to the couch and walks to the door. "Avan!" he looks back at me and winks. "Until next time. Oh, and don't tell anyone else you miss them. I am insanely jealous." He walks out, closing the door behind him.

The rest of my day is normal. Well all the days I meet Avan, he makes every other thing that happens normal in comparison. I have trouble sleeping. As I listen to the rain, I think of how my brother died. Without his loved ones around him. His body was not even recovered. There was no body to bury. It's a shame in a way Lily died the same way. Apparently she had been exposed to a deadly toxin in abroad that was highly communicable. Her body had been destroyed to avoid intercontinental transmission. Her parents had received a phone call and since they are very well off had refused any kind of settlement. What are the chances for lovers death to be so similar? It made me think of the phone call I had received about a life for a life and the dignity of one's death. When I finally went to sleep a lot was in my mind. Did Avan have anything to do with Lily's death? Did Jade? Or did the mystery caller? And what did all of these have to do with me?