LOGINROWAN
I slept like shit. It felt like roadkill.
The rink felt fuller than usual. Everyone seemed to be way too chatty. My mood was as sour as it could possibly be, my head spinning. I’d gotten drunk last night—too much—that I’d woken with a terrible stomach ache. I’d gotten dressed and started classes, only to take a weed break in between, and now the high was getting to me.
It was all because of that fucked up face I saw last night. I didn’t know who the dipshit was, but he had so much familiarity to the one person I’d tried not to ever think of or remember. They looked identical. So much so that it fucked me up a bit. Perhaps I was getting over myself.
“Boys!” Coach Ted called, slamming his palms together to get our attention. I snorted, dragging myself along with the other boys.
“I have good news. Great ones, even. Y’all remember our outsource for a new recruit?” The coach asked. The boys buzzed, answering in an excited roar, causing me to raise my head slowly.
“Well, here he is. Everyone, welcome Julian! He’s a player, won medals, and transferred to our school. He applied and I tested his drills. He’s good. And I approve.”
I was stupefied, confusion and shock etched on my face. It was that same dipshit from last night. A fucking walking replica of my nemesis. He looked everything like him… like Theo.
My heart sank at the realization as I took him in. Rookie face, he had. Mismatched light green eyes and the other was a light shade of blue—heterochromia. His dark hair was dull, wavy, pierced ears with golden hoops, arms sleeved with tattoos. Pink Supple lips.
Looking at him, the truth hit me like a slap in the face. This was Julian Theo’s brother whom he always spoke about . The brother Theo loved fiercely, the one who would do anything for family. And now Julian was standing in front of me with Theo's face, staring at me with pure, vengeful hatred.
“Rowan!” Fred called, jabbing his shoulder at me, drawing me back to reality. I glanced sideways to notice everyone else had their eyes on me and had gone silent.
“Dude, you’ve been staring. Don’t scare the guy. Do y’all know each other?” Fred asked, glancing sideways at me.
I let my eyes trail back to the fucker. His eyebrows were tipped like he was somehow expecting me to lie. Lie about what? I did not know him, for goodness’ sake.
“No, I don’t. But I would not be scouting a rookie just because he won some medals. Our team awards only the best, and as captain, I’m refusing him,” I grumbled, letting the words roll off my tongue in a less spiteful manner than how I probably felt.
The dipshit said nothing. In fact, he smirked—a fucking curve on his lips like he was mocking me.
“Absolute nonsense! With the nationals around, we need as many as we can get, and I am very particular in who I bring, which is why I hadn’t chosen anyone yet but him. His stats are off the charts. You’ll take him, and if you have errors, you’ll train him. It’s final. That’s your job as captain,” Coach Ted drawled in a tone making it final.
“Show him around, boys! Run some more laps, then call it a day,” Coach asserted again, waiting for me to make a move.
Reluctantly, I scoffed with a hiss, strutting past the rookie. He followed behind me, but I’d seen him smiling right at Fred and winking at the boys, then scurrying after me.
“I don’t like you,” I spoke as soon as we’d gotten into the locker room, shielding us away from others. It was just him and I. And I didn’t fucking want a walking, breathing reminder of Theo around me. Why did they look so alike?
“Is that all you have to say?” he asked, dropping every hint of niceness and faux gentility he’d put on.
“What? Like I’m meant to give a shit about some rookie? Listen and listen well. Do yourself a fucking favor and leave, or I’ll make this a fucking hellhole for you. Then you’ll end up leaving anyway. So make the smart choice, rookie,” I warned, hating how he would avert his gaze from mine.
He took a step forward, and then another, until we were standing chest to chest. Eyes on mine, a playful grin stretching on his lips.
“And dare I ask, Captain, why the hell am I getting under your skin so bad? Can’t stand the idea of someone possibly better than you? Or is there something you could be hiding? Perhaps I look similar to someone you’d rather not remember.”
I shot out my hands against his neck, slamming him against the locker, my face merely inches away from him. He let out a low, rough laughter, his words slurred as I cut out his airflow.
“You scratched my car and I let that shit go. Don’t fucking play mind games. I can be deadly if I want to be, so take my advice and get the fuck out of here,” I warned, knowing I meant every bit of it.
I was not against teammates if he had the skills, if he was good for me, but this one? Nah. He looked too much like a man I’d once loved. A man I once gave my heart to without even knowing. The man I had to walk away from. The man that had torn my heart to shreds and betrayed me. I wouldn’t make that mistake twice.
“And if I say no?” he asked.
It happened so fast. In a fucking blur. One minute his hands were on mine, the second minute he had me tossed sideways, twisting his arm around my neck, shoving me against the locker and having his hand snug on my throat.
A playful laughter coursed free from his lips and shame washed through me, realizing he had me pinned, one leg pressed between my thighs, resting right on my crotch, our bodies pressed flush against each other.
“Let’s make this clear. Rowan, I’m not here to ask for your permission. I am on the team. If you want to play captain, well, I don’t give a flying fuck. But I’ll be sure to make sure you crack until the golden mask you wear breaks. I want everyone to see the dirty, pathetic, full-on liar that you are. You may or may not know who I am, but one thing you should know is I’m here to fucking ruin you,” he breathed out, spitting every word with hatred and venom… sounding just like Theo. Fuck.
My head was becoming a mess.
“Am I understood?” he asked, squeezing tighter on my neck.
A sudden rush of adrenaline poured through me. I knew this position. I knew this look. This face. Fear eased over me as I stiffened, realizing how hard I was getting.
Stiff between my thighs. Heavy. As hard as a fucking rod. My heart skipped beats, seeing how the rookie’s eyes dropped to the tightening stretch in my pants and raised his eyes right back to me.
He rocked forward, shifting his hips, locking our bodies together in a punishing squeeze. A soft, breathless gasp slipped off my lip subconsciously and I froze again.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I threatened with as much bite as I could muster, but he ignored me anyway. His hand slid down, his palm flattening over my zipper, pressing firmly against the heat of my length.
Shit. Shit.
I let out another low, ragged sound, tingles crashing down my spine at the contact.
“You’ve always loved being held down. Good to see that hasn’t changed,” the rookie spoke like he knew me.
And when my brain screamed for me to do something—to shove him off, to cuss him out—my body refused to comply. I arched forward slightly. He leaned his weight heavier against me in one slow, agonizing motion. My body heated up.
I wanted to feel his hands on me. Not through the cloth, but flesh on flesh. I hadn’t been this hot for anyone since… Theo. I hadn’t gotten involved with any other man. I’d put up a ruse with women, but it wasn’t the real thing I wanted.
“Fucking cheat, Rowan. You still are a tease. My dirty, sinful little secret. I bet you’d let me take you right here on the concrete,” Julian slurred.
I whined, gasping again. This time it came louder. I sounded more desperate.
Oh, now I’ve got a degradation kink? Fucking Christ.
Noises drew closer to us and I ripped myself free, shoving him off me, panting heavily while adjusting my pants to hide the massive tent in my briefs. The boys walked in, chatting and laughing, before finally taking notice of Julian and I.
“You guys are still here?” Jamal uttered, eyes dancing awkwardly between the rookie and me.
“He was slow. Was trying to show him around. Had to explain a few basics to him first,” I rushed out, the words way quicker than necessary.
Everyone exchanged weird glances but said nothing as they continued chatting.
“I have to leave first. We’ll catch up tomorrow, Captain,” Julian spoke, a sneer attached to the end of his sarcastic words. He smiled keenly in my direction before strutting off, dashing past the doors.
My heart picked up its pace, racing hard and fast as I headed towards the restroom, bolted the door shut and leaned heavily against the cold tile wall. My jaw dropped at the absolute state of me.
I was shivering, my skin burning hot. The friction alone had left me completely ruined.
I was so fucking hard it was starting to hurt.
I had gotten a few hookups, a couple one-night stands from here and there with women over the years, but never with a man. Not after what Theo did to me. This was the first time I’d been so aroused to the extent I was completely losing my mind—just from a man pinning me to a locker.
I swallowed thickly, resting my forehead against the cool surface, closing my eyes as my hands trembled at my sides.
I tried to fight the sensation, but the memory of his touch was a wildfire in my veins. My mind, being a fucking betrayer, had focused on those eyes. Those mismatched eyes. His arm pressed against me. The lips. Oh, his plump, kissable pink lips. The playful grin on his face.
The phantom feeling of his weight against his hips sent a massive wave of heat straight to my core.
“Oh. My. Fuck… ,” I groaned, my breathy moans filling the stall now. The sheer fantasy of his hands on my skin spurred no on. I shook, my body spasming as my climax hit me faster than a freight train, a sudden, blinding release tearing through me. I leaned back, panting into the empty air as my knees nearly buckled under the weight of the pleasure.
I had come undone… in less than what? Four minutes?
And to the thought of a man who looked exactly like my ex—the brother of the man I used to love, who was now here to ruin me. The rookie on my team had gotten me so aroused and worked up.
I was fucked. I needed to get rid of him.
Fast!!
ROWAN.Morning hit like an iron pipe across the side of my skull...I woke up with the harsh autumn sunlight blinding me through the unshaded window... every single joint in my body stiff as lead...I tried to roll onto my left side to reach for my phone on the nightstand...The second my torso twisted... a jagged bolt of agony ripped straight through my right groin... The Grade 2 tear didn't just hurt... it locked my entire lower half into a rigid... breathless spasm that left me pinned flat on my back... gasping uselessly at the ceiling...I couldn't move... I couldn't pull the heavy duvet up... I couldn't even swing my legs over the edge of the mattress... My hip was a swollen... inflamed wreck... locked solid from the cold downpour the night before...The bedroom door creaked open...Julian walked in... fully dressed in his black gym gear... a heavy ice wrap slung over his broad shoulder and a legal pad clutched in his hand... He looked infuriatingly sharp... his dark eyes blown w
ROWAN.The hardwood floor was freezing beneath my face... my cheek pressed flat against the damp, muddy boards as the sound of my own ragged breathing echoed off the dark entryway walls...I couldn't move my right leg... Not an inch...The moment I tried to shift my weight to push myself up, a sickening spike of agony tore straight through my groin, locking my entire torso into a rigid, breathless spasm..."Get the fuck off me..." I wheezed out against the floor, my voice weak, gravelly, stripped of every ounce of authority...Julian didn't answer with words... He just reached down, his split, bloody hands hauling me up by the collar of my soaked hoodie... dragging my heavy 210-pound frame across the floorboards toward the master bathroom at the end of the hall... My dead leg dragged uselessly over the runner rug, leaving a trail of filthy rainwater and thick brown mud behind us..."Let go, you crazy bastard!" I snarled, clawing at his wrists with my numb fingers... "I can walk on my
ROWAN.The truck engine cut out... leaving nothing but the deafening roar of rain slamming down against the metal roof...The cab was suffocating... hot... smelling like stale leather, sweat, and copper...I didn't wait for Julian... I grabbed the door handle with both hands, popped the heavy latch, and shoved myself out into the pitch-black downpour...The instant my feet hit the wet driveway, the freezing rain cut through my hoodie like a fucking razor... Cold...violent... relentless...I took one single step forward...My right leg gave out completely...The cold air had locked my torn hip flexor into a stiff, frozen knot... The muscle didn't just give up... it snapped inward like an overstretched rubber band, driving a blinding bolt of raw agony straight through my groin into my spine...My knee buckled...I hit the mud hard... my full 210-pound weight crashing down into the frigid, slick earth... my right thigh slamming straight into the sharp gravel..."Fuck!" I screamed... the
JULIAN.Christian didn't say a fucking word...He just popped the door handle, stepped out into the pouring rain, and shoved his hands deep into his leather coat pockets... heading fast toward his own sports car parked three rows over... He didn't look back at Rowan... He didn't look back at me... He just left... his red taillights flashing once through the downpour before he pulled out of the arena lot and vanished into the dark...I threw my truck into park... left the engine idling loud... and kicked my door wide open into the freezing mud..."Get your fucking ass in the truck, Rowan!" I screamed into the rain...Rowan didn't move an inch... He was standing twenty feet away under the flickering yellow light of the arena overhang... his dark hoodie completely soaked... water running down his pale cheeks in thick, dirty streams...His right hand was clutched tight around the strap of his gym bag... his knuckles white... his jaw locked so hard the muscles in his neck were shaking...He
JULIANThe engine of my truck was idle, the heavy V8 thrumming through the floorboards while rain hammered the windshield in massive, sheets. The parking lot at the back of the arena was dead. Pitch black except for the dull orange glow of the streetlamp overhead.Christian sat in the passenger seat, his leather jacket unzipped, his chest moving in fast, quiet breaths. The air inside the cab smelled like stale rain, faint copper, expensive cologne, and dark, heavy heat.Christian went down and didn't come up for air.He got my jeans shoved down past my hips and dragged my dick with one hand and had his mouth on me before I'd finished breathing out. No teasing, no buildup—just wet heat closing over the head of my cock and his tongue working the underside in fast, sloppy strokes, and my whole body jolted like I'd grabbed a live wire.His spit was everywhere already. He was messy with it, sloppy, letting it run down over his knuckles and drip onto my thigh, and every time he pulled up he
JULIAN.My chest felt like a fucking engine burning pure gasoline with zero oil, metal grinding against metal until the whole machine was ready to blow.My head slammed hard to the left—a fast, ugly jerk tearing at the tendons in my neck as Coach Ted’s office door swung open, the heavy brass knob smashing into the drywall.I walked out first into the long, dark rubber tunnel leading back to the varsity locker room. My split, taped knuckles were throbbing in time with the violent, sickening pulse behind my eyes. Blood was stiff, black, and dried under my fingernails—his blood, my blood, smeared all over the chest of my dirty white away jersey like a fresh kill.I should have felt like a god. I had just taken the only early-entry NHL draft spot in the entire fucking program. I had just put my heavy boot straight on the neck of the varsity captain and stripped his whole life down to a mandatory two-month benching.He called you a disease. He called you pathetic. He told you he didn't nee







