- ACE - I should be thanking her instead. For not choosing to drown herself in the tub. For not mixing harmful drugs and taking it while using water as a cover to that sickening operation. For not dying. I’d rather my house gets soaked with water and have mould everywhere than see her dead. I’d rather there be a rodent infestation, even, than have her dead. I swallow. As her fingers brush against mine to grab the towel, I let out a strained breath. I have never had her touch me before. Not willingly at least. Her fingers are so soft and small. I almost want to grab her by the hand and pull her to me but I know that will not be something she’d prefer. Not after all I’ve said and done to her. Not after the conversation downstairs. “It’s okay.” I clear my throat, still leaving my hand inside the cubicle. I don’t bother to peak inside. I know she doesn’t want me to see her naked and I won’t force it on her. I don’t want her to perceive me as a threat anymore. I don’t want her
- LORELEI - “LORELEI!!” The thunderous sound of my name makes my body hair stand as goosebumps erupts all over my entire naked flesh. His voice sounded so fierce. So stern. Yet worried. Why is he here? In my bathroom? I swallow, trying to steady my now heavy breathing. His voice made me terrified. What have I done now? And why does he walk into a woman’s bathroom unannounced? I am naked for goodness’s sakes!“What do you want?” I call, my voice dull and frightful. I let out a sharp breath. “Lorelei.” I hear him breathe. His voice is steady yet commanding. I can see his reflection walk towards me through the glass walls of the cubical walls which is covered with dew due to steam of the running hot water. “Don’t come closer!” I bark, my voice an equal breath. I am panting, the air here is too dense with steam and I am way too fatigued mentally to hold a firm voice. “I am naked.” I swallow, holding a hand over my chest, securing my boobs in that one hand while the other stretches fo
- ACE - I feel my heart racing violently in my chest at the leaking water running closer to me. My first instinct is to barge into that door and burst her out of there. And quickly. Before it’s too late. But with the way she has water already overflowing into her room. . . . I fear it already is. I’m in a state of panic at the sight and the thought is unnerving. My feet finds itself glued to the floor as if frozen as I try to move. I feel something in my chest stiffen. I could walk through that door right now and witness one of the most horrifying sight of my life tonight and experience an incredible amount of self loathing or I could just. . . A lump forms in my throat as my thoughts come to a halt in my head, terrified of what was about to run through my mind in that moment. . . I wanted to not go. To save myself of the inevitable. One way or the other, both options lead to me hating myself. To me never being able to treat this woman like my mind has told me to do countless tim
- ACE - I clear my throat, standing at the door of her room. Right after leaving the place she left me at, I went to my home office. I got her phone from where Marco left it and switched it back on. Now I found my way here and have been standing for what seems like a long time. I don’t have the right to be at her presence after what transpired between us downstairs. I don’t have the right to even say an apology at this point. It would mean nothing to her because I never change anyway but I do hope this time will be different. It’s far fetched but worth hoping for. I clench my fingers firmly on her phone as I muster the courage to knock. There is no answer. I don’t expect her to want to see me talk less of talk to me. I said all I wanted to and none were compassionate. I passed the message across fair and square and she received it. Only now, that message is eating me up because I did not mean it. I knock again. “Lorelei, it’s me.” Something in me longed to say ‘your husban
- ACE - She talks about death so callously like it is a simple thing. Asking me to take her life, begging for it even is so dehumanising. I have never been one to care about whether people die or live. I have always accepted death as a part of life that is inevitable, yet it always seems to hit deep when it happens to someone I am relatively invested in and close to. And seeing Lorelei in near death experiences twice makes me know I don’t want her to die. I couldn’t dream of it. And it is not because I care about her, but because. . . I take a pause, trying to assess the impact of the thoughts running through my head. . . Because. . . I don’t know. I just don’t want her dead. I very much want her alive. Then give her a reason to want to keep living, you dumb ass! My conscience demands, slapping me right in the face. My jaw tightens and I feel my hands fold into quivering fists. I swear, I want to do that for her. I desperately want to but every time I am next to her
- LORELEI - I do not know what to tell him now that he is being a literal human being. I thought I would sort this out with violence and tantrums but it went in the complete opposite direction. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my breathing and relax my nerves. I cannot deny that in all my boldness, I was indeed panicking inside and I could guess that he noticed that too. Maybe that was why he chose this route instead. I don't know. I can't tell. I cannot read this man nor do I understand him. I do not even bother to try to anymore. I thought he would be furious when Marco showed him my phone screen, I thought he would be rationally irrational, yet he wasn't. I know he does not care about me nor what I do so I always wonder why he bothered to stalk me that night and cares about what time I make it back home. Wouldn't his life be happier if I never existed in it? Doesn't it mean him more peace? Yet he seems to be bothered yet not. Maybe he just wants another means to let me un