CHAPTER ONE

“How about that guy?”

“Ew! No! He looks old enough to be my grandpa.”

“That’s a gross exaggeration. Besides, you said you just wanted someone to lose your virginity to.”

Becka and I had gone to the bar to celebrate my being accepted into the same college Becka attended. We’d been inseparable ever since she spat on a boy who had pushed me on the playground in pre-school. We went to the same middle school, high school and now, college.

The bar was full of people since it was peak hours. I had told my mum I would be sleeping over at her place so we could both prepare for the new session. 

I hadn’t lied. This was us preparing for college. We were looking for a guy who would be willing to have a one night stand with me. I’d missed out on everything fun when I was involved in accident that claimed my dad and left me with a huge scar across my chest where I had been operated and a 2 year long coma. 

Luckily, my face was spared. There were other lacerations along my body but they were quite faint.

I had a terrible coping mechanism and that was diving head first into anything I considered dangerous just so I could bury my feelings. Therapists had tried and failed to fix me but to no avail. I knew my mum hated me silently for the death of her husband and I couldn’t blame her. I hated myself too but tonight was about a dude and me. A night I could forget about everything and everyone for once.

I rolled my eyes at Becka.

“Yeah.. Someone. Not just anyone.”

“How about him? He’s been staring at you all night.”

I looked subtly at the direction she pointed at. My eyes widened at the sight of the man. He looked quite young even though I knew he couldn’t be as young as I was.

“Yeah..Him.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

He took a swig of his beer and stared at me with a smoldering look. I blushed and quickly averted my eyes back to Becka.

“That was hot.” I nodded in agreement. He was hot and dangerous. A shiver ran down my spine as I licked my lips.

“How do I do this?” I glanced at Becka nervously. She was the expert. I wasn’t. I hadn’t even had my first kiss yet.

I know. I didn’t even crawl. I just wanted to fly, at least for this night.

My eyes trailed his lips and then over his face. He wasn’t bad to look at. He was clean shaved with a sharp jawline. I looked at his forearms and saw the veins that snaked across his skin. 

A very strange urge to lick them filled my head as I continued to stare.

“Stop eye fucking him and go meet him.” I smacked Becka hard as people turned to look at us. I was such a hypocrite.

I didn’t look my age, even in high-school. I was 21 and I looked 25 because of my body. I had matured early, earning curves in the right places and in ways that fit my body. It wasn’t something I liked to point out much but surely, it would help me tonight.

Having no idea where the boldness came from, maybe from Becka hyping me up, I went over to the guy across the bar from us and hopped on the stool beside him.

“Hey.” He didn’t reply. My brows creased in confusion. I’d thought he wanted me. Well, at least Becka thought so. 

I looked back at Becka who was watching us intently. She shrugged, not also having a clue as to what he was thinking. He took another swig of his beer, placed his money beneath the bottle and then left, leaving me embarrassed where I sat. My mouth squeezed as though I’d tasted a lime. I walked back to Becka who had a sad look on her face.

“He’s such a jerk.” My face tinged with pink as I sat in my former spot. The first time I’d ever been bold towards a man and I got stood up, quite literally.

“It’s his loss. There are lots of guys in college who’d be willing to sleep with you.” That sentence didn’t provide me any comfort. Instead, it just made me sound like a slut. 

‘Was I a slut?’ I asked myself.

“Trust me, I know.” My nose scrunched up in disgust.

“It was him I wanted though.” I told her as I finished my first bottle of beer. I didn’t even like beer. I only drank it because movies made them look appealing. It wasn’t. It tasted terrible. I probably wouldn’t touch it again.

Becka took out her pack of cigarettes from her purse along with her lighter. She always had one with her even though she well knew the consequences of smoking.

“I don’t even smoke that much.” She was on her fifth stick when she’d said that. I’d stopped throwing them away whenever I saw that she’d get so pissed and break stuff. I had to be careful around her sometimes when she was in fits of rage.

Becka had always had anger issues and I knew what ticked her so, I avoided them as much as I could.

“Hey… Didn’t you read the sign? It says no smoking in here.” The bartender tapped at the no-smoking sign, scowling at Becka when she tried to light her cigarette.

“Motherfucker. It’s a bar. I should be able to smoke here.” 

“Becka…” I warned. We were already banned from most of the clubs in our area. This was the only one we had managed to find almost on the outskirts of town.

“If you want to smoke, go outside.” His patience was running thin and it would only be a matter of seconds before he bounced us out.

“Let’s go.” I dragged her by the elbow as we went outside.

“You can smoke now.” I said to her but she threw the pack away in anger instead and puffed out air exasperatedly.

“Should’ve sucker-punched that motherfucker in the face for talking to me like that.”

I kept quiet. It was best to leave Becka alone when she was seething till she cooled it out.

She reached for her bag and brought out another pack of cigarettes. I should’ve known.

She took a deep drag and sighed.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.” 

We made a move to go when a car revved to our side. The silhouette of a man left his car and approached us. The bar light provided a neon glow to see his face.

It was the guy from earlier. I should’ve run for the hills when he came out of the dark. I should’ve done what any other girl would do. I should’ve felt danger instead, excitement shook my core.

I shared a knowing look with Becka who just smirked.

‘He came back. Why did he come back?’ I thought to myself.

“Hey.” He spoke, his voice a deep baritone that vibrated through my core.

“Wanna get out of here?”