5. CONFRONTATION

LEILA

As the sun slowly crept over the horizon, casting a golden glow over the world, the small town began to stir from its slumber. Birds chirped their sweet melodies, welcoming in the new day, and the soft rustling of leaves could be heard as the gentle breeze swept through the trees.

I lay awake all night, my eyes refusing to close as a torrent of troubling thoughts relentlessly ravaged my mind.

The more I try to clear off the debts already owed by my reckless mother, the worse her gambling becomes.

How do I escape the hardship in peace? Ever since mom started gambling my whole.life has been filled with misery. I'm always working my ass out to pay off debts I didn't owe.

I couldn't help but feel trapped in this cycle of suffering. It seemed like every time I made progress towards paying off the debts, something would happen to set me back again. I felt like I was constantly walking on a tightrope, trying to keep everything together while the ground beneath me shifted and threatened to give way.

Despite my exhaustion, my mind refused to give me any respite. I replayed the same worries over and over again, trying to find a way out of this endless cycle. But every time I thought I had a solution, a new problem would emerge, like a hydra growing two new heads for every one that was cut off.

I longed for a sense of peace, a chance to catch my breath and find some stability in my life. I felt like I was living in a constant state of crisis, always on the brink of disaster. Maria, my mother was undoubtedly a pain in the ass.

As I stared up at the ceiling, watching the shadows dance across the walls, I wondered if things would ever get better. It seemed like a distant dream, a mirage shimmering on the horizon but always just out of reach. But I knew I had to keep trying, keep pushing forward, even when it felt like the weight of the world was bearing down on my shoulders.

"Leila!" The distant but audible voice called out to me, jolting me out of my reverie.

Without thinking twice, I detected my mother's voice. I ignored and laid flat against my bed.

The door banged violently, begging to be broken down.

"Fuck! this woman is back to taunt me, haven't I had enough of her troubles already? She should be worshipping me for saving her from all those dangerous thugs she owed.

But now, I'll let her suffer in her own mess, this time my allowance will not be given to clear off any gambling debts.

"I've been calling you, why aren't you answering?" Came the instant rush of words from my mother's lips after she had succeeded in barging into my room forcefully.

"I was busy" I replied coldly before turning to wrap the rest of my body under the duvet.

"You should be on your way to work, stand up and go get me money" Maria yelled at me abhorrently.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" I retorted immediately with eyes blazing in fury.

"You have the gods to yell at me, when I get back I don't want to see you here. I need money and we have things to pay for, I'll rain hell on you if you don't get your lazy ass to work" She threatened before storming out of the room.

I knew for a fact that I couldn't escape work no matter what but my body was weak and tired. I work my ass out everyday and I don't even get to enjoy the profit of my labour.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, hot and stinging. I tried to blink them back, to keep them from falling down my cheeks, but it was of no use. They spilled over, one after another, each one like a tiny betrayal.

I try to wipe them away, embarrassed by my own weakness but they keep coming. My throat tightens and I feel a lump form, making it hard to breathe. I hate this feeling, hate the way my life was made.

But I can't help it. The tears kept coming, faster and harder, until I could not see anything through the blur. All I could feel was the ache in my chest, the overwhelming sadness that threatened to swallow me whole.

I know I should stop, should pull myself together and be strong, but at this moment, it felt impossible. All I could do was let the tears fall, let the emotions take over and hope that someday I'll be free from this prison and cycle.

I wish I could run far away from my mother but she is the only family I have.

I can no longer endure the weight on me, I'll have to speak and approach my mother calmly, I need to let her know that her addiction to gambling is slowly ruining my life.

******

Maria sat on the couch, a cigarette dangling from her lips as she stared at the television screen, momentarily her eyes fixated on the spinning reels of her money machine, me.

After a long day at work I finally summoned enough courage to speak to my mother about her addiction.

I shot the door against me and walked up to her. My expression stern and unreadable.

"Mom, I just got home from work. Can we talk?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"What do you want to talk about, huh? You finally got a job, and now you want to lecture me?" She snapped back, her eyes still glued to me

"Mom, I need to talk to you about the debts. You know that the money I make is not enough to pay for everything" I said, taking a deep breath in.

She turned to face me, her eyes blazing with anger.

At that very moment I began to question the courage and confidence I had built up some moments ago before approaching her.

"You're not making enough money? You think I care? I have debts to pay and you need to bring more money home," she yelled.

"But Mom, I'm trying my best. I'm working hard every day, but it's not enough" I pleaded.

She shook her head, smoke swirling around her face.

"Your best is not enough. You need to work harder, earn more. You're my child and you owe it to me to help me pay off these debts. If you can't do that, then what good are you to me? Your father left us to suffer in poverty and now you want to blame me for that? Do you want me to die of hunger in your hands? I raised you, now I'm old so it's your turn to do the same" she said, her voice rising with every word.

A deep sigh escaped my lips, I hung my head, feeling defeated. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed like it was never enough for my mother. The weight of the debts and the constant pressure from her was slowly crushing me and I had no way to oppose it.

I turned and walked out of the room, leaving my mother alone to drown in her intoxicating cigarette and her adamant stubbornness. She continued to smoke her eyes locked on the spinning reels, lost in her own world of gambling and debts, oblivious to the pain she was causing me.

I sauntered into the only place I longed for peace, my bedroom. I took a quick shower and covered myself in my night gown, ready to sleep my troubles away when indistinct noises from the sitting room caught my attention.

It sounded like my mom was arguing with someone but I ignored because I had the feeling that it was a friend of hers who gambles as well.

Suddenly the deafening sound of a gunshot caught me off guard. It felt like an explosion had gone off in the sitting room. It left me momentarily disoriented and stunned, wondering what had just happened. The first thing I heard was a sharp crack, like a whip snapping through the air, followed by a loud ringing in my ears that drowned out everything else.

Then came the deep, reverberating boom that seemed to shake me to my core, as if the sound itself was trying to knock me down. It cut through the silence like a knife, leaving a lingering echo that seemed to stretch on for an eternity.

"Mom? Shit! Mom!!" I cried out fearfully. Dashing into the sitting room to meet nothing but a smell of gunpowder and an empty chair.

My heart sank immediately.