♞—Lorenzo Niko had mustered up a dozen of his men, along with their hounds, to safeguard my home; he had done so not for me, rather for Delilah, making sure that she wouldn't attempt to flee once more. His lack of faith in me had become evidently clear; he no longer trusted me to manage Delilah. It left me feeling somewhat discordant. He was still allowing her to stay with me, and I couldn't comprehend why; he could have removed her from me, and locked her in a prison cell so that I would never have to look upon her deceitful face again.I judged her too soon and thought she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. I wasn't going to force her to stay with me but all she had to do was be honest. No excuses, no lies, no means to manipulate me into believing that she truly wanted this. She fucking sold herself to me, she didn't have any respect for herself, not a trace of conscience when it came to reaching her ambitions.I had no right to judge anyone since I'm a murd
♕—Delilah I dreaded thinking about it... about what is going to become of me or what lies ahead of me, and what my future holds. Desperately trying to keep my tears at bay, I am left with a sinking emptiness as my only companion within this despondent world. Struggling to come to terms with the truth that the captor who holds me prisoner is the only person I have, is an unbearable reality.I watched as the men now patrolled the front gates, the hounds barking restlessly day and night. Sometimes I wonder what if I never tried to run away and stayed here with Lorenzo, but how could I fall for such a person? How could I learn to love my captor? The answer is, I can't... He is not an easy person to love...There was not even a sliver of compassion in him... It was all in my head to think he cared enough that he won't hurt me. He is a merciless beast and he doesn't have any emotion. I kept trying to erase from my memory the brutality he could unleash. How little regard he had for the
♕—Delilah Lorenzo looked up at the sky, "I don't think I can be your friend, Delilah..." "Why?" He shook his head, "Because I can't..."I frowned, "Why not?" He sighed, "Because what I feel for you is stronger than friendship..." I observed him, his shoulders drooping and his gaze imploringly seeking me out, I was shocked to think that Lorenzo could be as confined as me. Could it be that he was unable to find an escape route? Could it be that, while I desperately tried to free myself, he was struggling to hold on to me because he was desperate for my presence? Suddenly, it dawned on me that maybe the one who was really captive was the one who was in the chains all along.My mind was completely taken aback. For the first time, I was able to truly comprehend the magnitude of his flaws, something I had previously swept aside. It was as if I had been struck with a sudden epiphany, and I gazed in awe at him.Lorenzo couldn't be serious - did he really just accept that he had deeper fe
♕—Delilah I shut my eyes tight, trying to stifle the tenth wave of tears that had taken over me today. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Lorenzo had confessed his feeling for me last night. What was he trying to do? How did it get so messed up? I have been in a state of internal conflict over the range of emotions I have experienced in the past week. Lorenzo Vitelli told me he loved me, he really did say that. Was he even capable of love? Did he even know what it meant? Did he even understand the true meaning of these seemingly simple three words?A day before he was telling his boss to get me out of his house—as if he couldn't bear to stay in the same space as me—and the very next day, he said that he loved me.I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. My hand dropped back to my sides and I gripped the edge of the bed, clutching it as if my life depends on it. Lorenzo didn't come to bed last night, he must have slept in his study like he does whenever he is upse
♕—Delilah In the evening, Lorenzo left leaving me alone in the house. Reyna and Giulia left after doing all their chores.I walked around the house, I was afraid to go outside. The men that were patrolling the mansion weren't very nice. I could see it in their lecherous gaze, the darkness exuding off their bodies. They were the Made men of the Cosa Nostra, I had gotten lucky that I had Lorenzo, I know how bad it could be for me if some other men had gotten me. My mind fixated on Jack and an overwhelming sense of guilt washed over me. I wondered how he was faring these past few months. I had made a vow to never be with another man but him, and yet that was exactly what I did. The first time with Alexander, it wasn't my choice, but the second time, there was no one else to blame but myself, what I did with Lorenzo was on me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the thought of what I had done – pushing Jack out of my mind and my heart to make space for Lorenzo. Images of Jack,
♕—Delilah I wiped my tears and stepped back, my arms dropped off from the mantel, and my chin trembled as I gazed at the beautiful portrait once more, "What am I even feeling anymore? I have no idea..."I gave the woman in the portrait one last soft smile and then turned. I made sure to put everything exactly where it was. I made my way out of his study and closed the door on my way out.I don't know why I felt a little lighter although I was just talking to a portrait. Maybe, saying what I was feeling out loud helped. I exhaled loudly and turned on the TV, putting on music, I softly danced around the place. I know full well what the future holds for me - Alexander's torment and my untimely demise. I could have stayed here in Lorenzo's warm embrace, and he would no doubt do anything to protect me, but I refuse to bring him the same hardships I already have.He is trying everything to get back to his family. He wanted them back and if I chose to stay here, it would mean they'd never
♕—Delilah Lorenzo came out of the kitchen and went back into the bedroom, my eyes followed where he went and then he reemerged with his laptop and sat down on his armchair. I could clearly see his frustration.I stared at him, I could easily make out his annoyance. He groaned with a heavy sigh. He flung the folder onto the coffee table as well and put his legs up on it. With another exasperated sigh, he extended his tall frame, seemingly as if he was in pain. My heart filled with a deep worry as I hastily stood up and quickly rushed to his side. "Are you okay?" I asked, looking down at him with a frown. He looked up at me momentarily before snapping his attention back to his laptop. He shifted in his place, I could see how he was trying hard to suppress the pain he was in but I had no idea of the source of it. I was anxious and curious about what he was intending; should I stay or go? However, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. Lorenzo seemed to be more open than usual. If I stay
♞—Lorenzo She ran... She ran as soon as I told her that I love her. I laughed to myself, what the fuck was I thinking? Did I really fucking think that someone like me could be with someone like her? Did I fucking think that I could have someone in my life that'd be mine? Just fucking mine? She'd never love someone like me when she was already in love with someone—that stable boy of hers. It's good that she rejected me, she rejected my love, my care, and my need to be with her. It's good, it's better this way. Because if she had accepted my love, that would be another fucking story. I'm not sure how to navigate relationships. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act as a boyfriend. I'm absolutely at a loss when it comes to understanding what love is. Before I had the chance to experience it, it was taken away from me. It was snatched away from me, I only had a brief moment of it before it was gone.If she had accepted my love and remained with me, she would have discovered everythi