Chapter 73

•Nikolai•

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I wasn't scared of much, but feelings—love terrified me. When she asked me if I loved her, said the words out loud; fuck, that was scarier than having a ticking bomb attached to your chest.

I stood in front of her like a fucking idiot. I had never been speechless before anyone, I always get the last word but Evangeline has managed to do that as well.

I grabbed my fifth glass of whiskey and downed it. I couldn't say it, I don't fucking know what I feel for her. I wanted her, I liked being around her, sleeping in the same bed as hers but love was out of the question.

I told her, I fucking told her that I won't love her. She fucking said she had no problem with it. She said she was fine with me not loving her. She fucking said that she won't ask me to love her. Didn't she?

I picked up the bottle of whiskey and tossed it on the wall. I placed my hands over the desk and hung my head. "Fuck!"

When I first met her—the day her father had died, I'd never imagined that the