로그인I should feel like a shit-tier human being right now. I fucked Xenia to escape all the shit my mother unloaded on me. Who the hell does that? Who uses another person to escape reality? Me apparently. I’m the kind of loser asshole that uses a woman for sex to forget all his pain temporarily.
She didn’t say no or make me stop, but that doesn’t make it any
Pregnant! Xenia is pregnant! I’m going to be a dad!? Me, of all fucking people, is going to be a dad! I know we tackled the subject when the puppies were born. But an offhand ‘we’ll have one when it’s time’ differs from a positive pregnancy test. A positive test is real. Our baby is currently growing inside her as we speak. How far along is she? How did I miss the signs? Has she missed her period? No, I couldn’t go off that her birth control made that hard to track properly. We’ll have to wait till we see a doctor to get an estimate on how far along she is. I say estimate because, in my family, we’re big, so judging just on the size of the fetus may not work. Though I guess they can go off from developmental stages like when certain organs develop and yadda. As I walked into the ceremony, all eyes turned to me. Reese underestimated how many guests we had. Including Xenia’s mom, sisters, and Reese, we had 48 guests. So, add Xenia and me, and we had 50 people. That’s, of course, no
I didn’t know what made me think pressing myself against the door was a good idea. There was no way little me could keep out Clay or his equally tall and strong twin sister. I should have been upset with Reese for deciding to get him when I started crying over the pregnancy test. But I can’t. Because as I looked at his face and saw all the love and concern in his eyes, I knew she was right. I needed him. “Xenia, baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Clay asked as he put Zeus down. “What worries do I need to put to rest?” “It’s not worries, per se.” I sighed and steadied myself with Tink’s help. “I just…” I frowned as I avoided eye contact with him. It’s not that I’m ashamed that I’m pregnant. I mean, it’s my fault for not being on top of renewing my birth control. Clay couldn’t help it if a condom broke. We agreed to use both condoms and my birth control to be safe. We knew we wanted kids, eventually. Like he said, we’d have one after the puppies were born when we were ready.
Xenia is supposed to be MY emotional support human. I was not a fan of this switch of roles, but for Xenia, I would try my best. Just because I failed all those training classes to be an official support animal doesn’t mean I cannot be here for my human. She has always been there for me when I was upset. It’s about time I returned the favor. I didn’t understand why she was upset. She’d been so happy a few moments ago. She was trying on her new dress, and everyone was gushing over her and talking about how great today would be. I still didn’t know what was happening today. I knew Xenia was getting all dressed up, even fancier than when she and Clay went on a night out. I got a purple outfit and a crown of flowers to wear. Zeus was given a special outfit, too. So, something big was going on. Even if all the special clothes didn’t make it clear, we were in a strange place, and there were people we only saw occasionally. Plus, all my puppies were here. I love to see my puppies. It’s
I put up with a LOT of shit with Clay as my human. The silver lining is that I have Tinkerbell and her human Xenia around. Not that Clay makes a habit of dressing me up like this. That doesn’t mean I like being in this getup. I don’t care that it’s a special day. I don’t understand what is happening, but it must be special. Clay and Xenia have been planning this gathering for what felt like forever. And all the people they like most are here. Which means all our pups are here. I am happy and envious to see my pups. I was glad to see them since we see some of them only on special occasions. But I was envious because none of them were dressed up like me. Lucky pups. I feel ridiculous dressed like this. Whatever is supposed to happen today better happen soon, or I will find a way out of this outfit to run around free. I was restless and bored sitting in that room, waiting for something to happen. I was happy when Clay decided we could venture out of the room. I was happy until I picked
Holy shit! It’s MY wedding day! If someone told me two years ago I’d be in a committed relationship, I’d ask if you were high. If someone said I’d be getting married, I’d recommend a trip to the nearest psych ward. Old me couldn’t imagine ever wanting to give up being a bachelor. I loved the freedom of that life and couldn’t fathom giving that up for a woman. It wasn’t until I fell into Turtle Pond in Central Park with Xenia that I realized I was all wrong. Being in a relationship wasn’t a noose around my neck. It wasn’t the death of my freedom. It was just a change. Sure, I wasn’t free to fuck whoever caught my eye, but that’s fine with me. If I learned anything from the disaster of an attempt at a threesome before Xenia and I were official, it’s that no one else would do. Till Xenia, I didn’t realize that the ‘freedom’ of being a bachelor was more a cover for loneliness. It was for the loneliness that Reese gave me Zeus. The little shit never filled that loneliness. At least not d
Who’s bright idea was it to have a Valentine’s Day wedding? Oh right. It was mine. I thought it would be romantic and Clay would never forget our anniversary. Not that I believed he would forget any other day. This was the guy that proposed on the anniversary of our meeting in the same spot where we got ‘pongoed,’ as Makayla likes to call it. It still makes me laugh when I think back on how we met. It wasn’t so funny at the time, but in hindsight, I can laugh. I also can’t watch 101 Dalmatians without laughing and thinking of that day in Central Park when my life changed for the better. By chance, Fate, or just the divine intervention of Zeus, I ended up with this incredible man who is hot, great in bed, and so damn sweet. I still don’t know how, in the thousands of men that live in NYC, after only finding assholes, I found such a keeper. And trust me, I know all about the assholes that live in NYC. Between the assholes I met in college, like Alden Zachery Greenwood the Fourth. Inse
I’d been happy to see Tinkerbell when I had returned from a walk with Makayla. But they didn’t stay, and I knew it was Clay’s fault. That stupid human was ruining this, not just for me but for himself. How can he not realize that Xenia is the perfect match for him? I realized that in moments but it’
I detest hospitals. They are up there with spiders on my do not like list. Hospitals make me think of death and the memory of visiting vózinho Thiago when he had that heart attack during his last visit to NYC. He wasn’t a larger-than-life-size man like dedushka Ares, but he was to a kid like me. I s
The universe seriously hates me. Things went wrong with Missy and Sheila, and then I ran into Xenia. Xenia even invited me back to her place. More than once, my vision was blurry between the bar and her apartment door, and I felt unbalanced. I’m damn lucky I didn’t drop her when we were making out i
This is ridiculous. I called 9-1-1 and rode in the ambulance with Clay, but now I’m sitting in an interview room at a police station with this dumbass cop who keeps asking me the same questions as somehow my narrative of tonight's events would change. Because I didn’t feel shitty enough that Clay wa







