LOGINZara
With my hands pinned to my back, I dragged my legs to let them carry as far as I could go, but I was a fool to think they would let me off so easily.
Someone was behind me with light steps, almost like they were gliding over the air. Freaking werewolf speed.
Everything happened in a blur, and the huge man stood before me, making me stop in tracks. I tried to maneuver him, but then a crushing weight slammed across my head. Everywhere spun so fast, I stumbled backwards until my back collided with the floor.
“Fuck Pete, don’t hit her!” Was the last thing I heard before darkness seeped into my brain.
The first thing I felt was cold. But it wasn’t the chilly night air outside. It was the chill of polished tiles underneath my body as I laid on my side on the floor. I couldn’t move my arms.
My head throbbed at the same time as my pulse. What’s happening? I slowly blinked my eyes open and the blurry image of thick, jet black boots came into focus. I realized my hands were tightly cuffed behind my back.
Memories of tonight started flooding back into my brain, and fear gripped me by the throat. I was no longer in our house, but a bigger room, covered in gold and expensive glass.
Was this…
“Alpha Ryan, she’s awake.”
I managed to crane my neck up to see the huge man who’d knocked me out earlier. Then my eyes glided to the man beside him, and my breathing stopped.
The only thing I could hear was the pumping of my heart in my ears as I stared up at him.
I didn’t know what I expected when they dragged me off to meet their Alpha, a crazed beast who fed on blood from mystical virgin creatures like my kind. Whose generation was known for drinking us dry and defiling us, turning us to pitiable humans with a quick countdown to die.
Whatever I expected, it was not this image in front of me. Alpha Ryan did not look like the rugged, beastly man I’d spent all my life fearing. He looked like a masterpiece of a man, almost seven foot, with razor sharp features, and jet back hair that was slicked back with precision.
He could be easily differentiated from the ordinary beauty of mortal men. His eyes were an icy shade of grey, almost silver, and thick lashes framed them perfectly. He had knife-blade cheekbones and perfectly arched brows. His nose was so straight and pointed, I wondered if there was even any mistake or imperfection with him.
His body was another canon event. Muscles strained against the all black leather fit he had on. He wasn’t so huge, but he didn’t need to be. He was intimidating enough like this. He looked like a man that didn’t need to speak to be reverenced or feared, like the type that would take lives without batting an eye.
Our gazes collided, and locked. His was laced with curiosity and something else I couldn’t pinpoint. Mine… mine was filled with confusion, coupled with a strange burning in my chest.
“What’s your name?” His deep, velvety voice cut through my thoughts. I snapped back to my senses. I hated this man, no matter how beautiful he looked.
Tilting my head to the side, I asked, “Is there any need to know the name of the girl who’s going to be dead anytime soon, anyways?”
A few gasps sounded around me. Alpha Ryan's eyes widened a little. He wasn’t used to the talkback. Good. I wasn’t even used to talking back like this either.
I panicked when he started to crouch down to my height, my heart lodging in my throat. His icy orbs really pierced through me now. Alpha Ryan looked enchanted by me, but I knew better.
“What’s your name, little lamb? Lose the attitude, and tell me.”
I shook my head no, even if my hands were trembling. I didn’t even know why I was refusing to tell him, I guess I just needed to have control over something.
“No?” But his eyes are trained on the vein on my neck, his grey orbs almost completely dark with desire. My pulse thrummed harder as he looked.
“No.” I agreed. “Maybe you’d have to kill me. I disobeyed your orders.”
Everywhere fell silent. I knew he couldn’t kill me. He needed me. He’d been searching for me for years. I wasn’t going to make this easy for him. I was not the lamb he called me. Not anymore…
He finally looked up at me, and smiled. Actually smiled, knocking the air out of my lungs. Then he stood up, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“Very well, then. You’re right. I don’t need a name. You’re simply mine.” The crass declaration caused a shiver to run down my spine.
He kept his eyes on me while speaking to the men beside him. “Take her to my wing. Put her in one of the empty rooms. I’ll see her tomorrow.”
They started to untie me, more carefully than they’d handled me on my way here. Bunch of hypocrites.
When I was fully loosened, I moaned in relief, rubbing my pale palms together. Blood had seized at my wrist. I felt his eyes on me. Somehow, I did. I didn’t give him the pleasure of staring back.
“Come on.” A guard pulled me up and another stood on the other side of me. They had just started pulling me away when I heard a female voice,
“Is she here?”
My eyes slanted to the door, where a tall, skinny woman stood. She regarded me with a look of indifference in her amber eyes, stepping into the room eventually.
She stopped beside Alpha Ryan and planted a kiss on his cheek. Bile rose in my throat. Who was she? He didn’t crack a reaction, still watching me.
“Yes. She’s the one.” He answered her.
“Sweet. What’s her name?” She queried, giving me a once over. When her eyes reached back up to my face, they were clouded with anarchy.
“She wouldn’t tell.” He shrugged. She scoffed, looking at him like he was crazy.
“What do you mean she wouldn’t tell?” Her attention was back on me, and I tried to fight the fear that had started to rattle me.
“It’s okay, Mira. I don’t need her name.”
“Maybe, but she doesn’t have the right not to tell you. She’s nothing but a slave here!” Before he could stop her, she marched towards me and dragged me off the guards. Her grip was strong as she crushed my arms, and I struggled to claw her hands off.
“Stop!”
“What’s your name, slut? You think you can play hard to get here? You want to keep secrets?” She snapped.
“Mira.”
“Listen to me, you whoring little bastard. You’re nothing but a slave here. Nothing but a shiny blood bag for my mate. You don’t have a say here, not as long as I’m alive. No one refuses the Alpha. If he asks you something, I need you to give him a fucking answer. Now what’s that name?” She yells against my face. I bite the inside of my cheek, determined to stand up to her.
She looked like she was going to harm me, but nothing could be worse than the beatings I received at home. The marks and bruises across my skin would scare her away.
“You won’t tell?! You won’t...”
“Luna Mira!” Alpha Ryan's voice boomed across the room, and once again, silence cloaked the air. She jerked at the sound of his voice, like something had left her, then she dropped her hands and stepped back.
Her head was bowed as she whispered, “I’m sorry, love.”
But his face was masked with fury as he watched her. “I don’t need you to fight my battles. Since when do you need to voice out for me?”
“You… you let her keep her name from you.” She finally raised her head, directing a glare at me. “She looks like a cheap seductress, love. Take a look at that skimpy dress and the way she bats her lashes at you. She even talks back at you already. I just…”
She bursted out crying. Just like that. Tears cascaded down her face like a practiced mantra. My mouth was slightly open in surprise, but I noticed that everyone else stayed calm, unperturbed. Like this was a usual occurrence.
Alpha Ryan slung his arm across her shoulder, jaw clenched, with his eyes on his guards.
“Take her away.”
I was dragged off the scene to the place where I’d probably die. But I was determined not to go down without a fight. How else would I get my revenge?
ZaraThe knife moves and I don't feel my hand do it. That's the strangest part, the part I'll probably spend the rest of my life trying to explain to someone who wasn't standing in this room... I decide, somewhere far away and very calm, and then my arm is already finishing the decision before I've caught up to it, like my body got tired of waiting for my heart to agree.I'm not aiming for his chest anymore.I don't know when that changed. Maybe it changed the second his voice cracked that half-inch, the second I heard something underneath Damon that sounded like Ryan trying to claw his way up through wet sand, and some animal part of me that's been living on hope and stubbornness for six days recalculated everything without asking permission. I'm not trying to kill the thing wearing my husband. I'm trying to open a door.The blade catches him along the forearm instead of the sternum, a shallow line, not deep enough to matter to a wolf healing at wolf-speed, but deep enough to make hi
RyanI'm not gone. That's the thing nobody tells you about being buried alive inside your own skin... I'm not gone, I'm just far down, pressed under something vast and cold and patient, and every so often I get close enough to the surface to feel what my body's doing without any say in whether it stops.Right now my hand is closing around Zara's wrist. I feel the exact shape of her bones under my fingers, feel how thin they are, how breakable, and some part of me that used to be a husband and is currently nothing but a passenger screams at a volume that never reaches anyone but me. Six years I spent learning how much pressure this hand could take before it hurt her, gentling myself around her the way you gentle yourself around something you've decided matters more than your own strength. Damon doesn't know that math. Or he does know it and doesn't care, which might be worse, because I can feel him deciding, right now, exactly how close to the edge of breaking her he wants to walk with
ZaraThe word run doesn't sound like Simon. It comes out low and doubled, like two throats trying to use one mouth, and something underneath his voice answers it before I can, some old animal part of me that knows a command when it hears one and moves before thought catches up.I run and not away... I've never once run away from anything wearing Ryan's face, not in six days of watching my husband disappear behind his own eyes but back, out into the hallway, because the house has rules I understand even when nothing else does anymore, and the nearest room with a lock that isn't a joke is the study, and the study has the box.The box has silver too, more silver...enough, maybe, if I'm fast enough, if my hands stop shaking long enough to be useful.Behind me I hear the table go over. I hear Simon make a sound I've never heard him make, something between a growl and a groan, something halfway to a shape he shouldn't be changing into yet, not for hours, not until the moon actually wants him
RyanThere's a version of drowning that doesn't involve water at all, and I have been living inside it for six days now, coming up for air in stolen seconds and going back under before I can even fill my lungs. This is one of those seconds. I can feel the shape of it already narrowing, some vast dark hand closing around me again, but for now I'm here, I'm in my own body, and Zara is three feet away with her back against a door that used to open for me."Zara." Her name costs me everything I have left. "Listen to me, you have to..."I don't get to finish. I never get to finish anymore. Damon doesn't yank me under gently, he drags, claws dug into whatever part of a person is actually them, and I go down screaming words I never got to say, and the last thing I see before the dark swallows me whole is her face, and the terror in it, and I think, not for the first time, that I would rather he kill me than make me watch this happen to her one more time.Then there's nothing. There's never a
ZaraI saw it...I know I saw it, for one second his hand twitched around my wrist, and his voice cracked out of his own throat instead of Damon's borrowed drawl, and I have spent six years learning the difference between the two the way you learn a language... not by studying it, just by living inside it long enough that your body knows before your mind catches up. That was Ryan. That was my husband, clawing his way to the surface of his own skin, and then he was gone again, and I am still standing here with my back three feet from the door he just locked with his own hand."Ryan," I say again, quieter this time, not for Damon...for him. Wherever he is under there.Damon tilts his head... Ryan's head, and God, I hate how easily I still think of it that way, like the body is still on loan and the man renting it is just visiting badly. "I told you...nerves. You're wasting your begging on a twitching muscle.""You slammed the lock shut so fast your hand shook," I say. "Muscles don't shak
RyanI am screaming and no one can hear it, that's the truest way I can put it. I'm in here... behind my own eyes, behind my own mouth and I can feel every word Damon makes my lips shape, feel my hand close around Zara's wrist like it's still mine to close, and I can't stop a single second of it. I've been trying for six days. Six days of drifting somewhere under my own skin, surfacing for half a breath at a time, just long enough to know exactly how bad it's gotten before I get dragged back down.I know his name now. That's new, that's the last hour's work. Damon. I heard Zara say it once, months ago, in that careful voice she uses when she's talking about pack business she doesn't want me carrying home with me. I didn't know then that I'd end up carrying him instead.I throw it at whatever's left of the space between us, the thin membrane where I still exist. You don't need her. You need me...I'm the one with the bond, I'm the one Simon actually wants dead, so take it out on me.He
ZaraThe email didn’t make sense. I stared at it a few more times, certain there had to be a mistake or some sort of glitch that would disappear if I had to blinked hard enough.Anxiety had me pulling out my phone for the umpteenth time to read through the email, word for word to make sure it wasn’t
Zara"Rude" I mummured. Judging from the kind of person Alpha Ryan was, it wasn't hard to see that he was a man of pride who didn't beg. He saw begging as a way of being weak and left for me, I was ready to break him until the only thing left for him to do was to beg. I closed my eyes for a bit, th
RyanShe was here in flesh and blood. The last living Eserai.When my elders told me about an Eserai at first, I was sure they had gone mad. It was impossible. My seer confirmed that the Eserais had been wiped out by my father’s reckless drinking from them, and his abuse.But the moment I saw her, I
RyanI had a good mind to stop Zara as she stalked away but on the other hand, I decided to let her go simply because it was in situations like this that she needed some time alone. The ballroom music grew louder with every minute that passed, and so did my heartrate. It was one thing to be all ove







