登入RAINAI continued to see Sylvester in secret, covering my tracks perfectly.Or so I thought.Until a Friday when it almost all came crashing down.Castor was supposed to be gone until Sunday. A trip to Chicago, a closed-door thing with donors that Felix had arranged weeks ago.Maria had informed me that morning while she cleared the breakfast dishes, and by 7p.m. that night I was in Sylvester's bed with my dress on the floor and my head on his chest and no reason in the world to be watching the clock.That was the mistake. Letting myself relax. Believing, even for a few hours, that because Castor was two states away, I had nothing to fear.My phone rang on the nightstand.I almost didn't reach for it. Then I saw the name glowing on the screen and my blood turned to ice.Maria never called me. Not once in all these months since I'd known her. We spoke solely at home and on verbal terms. She had never texted me, much less dialed my number. Which meant the only reason it was ringing now
RAINAI went back the next night.And the night after that, and the one after that. I stopped counting them, the way you stop counting anything you're ashamed of and can't stop doing anyway.Syvelster always made love to me in the most passionate way possible.I became a woman I didn't recognize. A woman who sat across from her husband at breakfast and lied to his face without a flicker of guilt, then slipped out through the kitchen door the moment the house went dark. A woman who had the security team memorized, all their shifts, nap time and breaks.Now the back roads to Sylvester's apartment were like an impulse, I had them implanted unto my brain, from the back gate of my house down to the broken streetlight on Delmar expressway and the crossing where the barriers never came down. I was now a woman who sat at campaign dinners with her husband's hand resting on her knee and typed filthy things to another man. We constantly texted now, all the time, everytime. One time we were in
RAINAI woke in the bed with the morning light coming in from the wrong side of the room.For a few seconds I didn't understand where I was. The mattress sat firmer than mine. The sheets carried a different fragrance than I knew. Cedar.I recognized the scent, it belonged to Syvelster. The low, clean scent of him.I looked around me.Syvelster lay beside me on the bed. His arm lay heavy across my waist, his chest warm against my back, his breath moving slow and even through my hair. He was still asleep, and for one soft, dangerous moment I let myself stay there inside it, wrapped up in a man who slept like he had nothing in the world to be afraid of.Then it all came back, and the fear hit me like cold water thrown in my face."Oh My God!" I exclaimed.I slid out from under his arm and got up too fast. The room tilted. My dress was on the floor near the door, my bra somewhere past it, one shoe kicked under a chair and the other halfway across the room from where he'd taken it off me.
RAINAI went to him the next night.I didn't let myself think on the drive over. Thinking was the enemy. If I gave my mind even a second to work, it would find every reason to turn the car around, so I kept my eyes on the dark road, my hands steady on the wheel, and let the back roads carry me to him. I'd driven them enough now that my body knew the turns before I did.I glanced down at myself as I stepped out of the car. My red burgundy dress was nicely fitted and flared at my hips. It had a low cut V-neck that dipped to my chest and showed some hint of cleavage.I'd chosen this dress specially, after trying on a hundred others before leaving the house.Now I tried to breathe normally as I walked the short distance to his house.Stay calm, Raina.I said to my heart that was now climbing up my throat.I got to his door and knocked once.He opened the door.My eyes washed over him. He was in a black sleeveless vest with matching joggers. His hair was wet and I could smell the fragrance
RAINAHours passed by and I avoided returning into the house.I was on my knees in the dirt by early afternoon, working the bed along the south wall.Castor had left by ten, off to some meeting with Felix, and the moment his car cleared the gate the tightness in my chest let go. There was something honest about the work. You put a seed in the ground and covered it and watered it, and it either grew or it didn't, but none of it was a lie. No cameras cared what I did out here. No one measured my face. I planted a row of basil and thyme along the edge, then started on the marigolds, pressing each one into the soil with my thumbs.The fight from breakfast was still sitting in me, but it had changed shape. In the morning it had been fear at my boldness. By afternoon it had turned into something steadier. I kept thinking about the way Castor's face twisted when I said Sylvester turned out decent, and instead of shame, I felt that same quiet satisfaction from before. He could rage all he wan
RAINA I could still feel him. That was the first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes that morning. Not the room. Not the light through the curtains. Him. The ghost of his mouth on the inside of my thigh. His fingers, the feel of them stretching me open. The rough scrape of his jaw against my skin. My body had kept a record of the whole night and was playing it back to me before I was even fully awake. I got up reluctantly. Then showered. The hot water ran over places that were still tender, and every one of them woke the memory up again. By the time I came down to breakfast I was raw with it, lit up under my skin in a way I had to try to hide it. Castor was already at the table with the morning papers spread beside his plate. I sat across from him and reached for the coffee. My hand was steady. That surprised me. I felt like a different person wearing yesterday's memory like a claok, and yet nothing about me looked any different from the outside. I waited for the guilt to com
RAINA.The car ride home was when I finally broke completely.The moment the door shut and we pulled away from the venue, the tears began to fall. Not gentle tears, but huge, gasping sobs that shook my whole body."Mrs. Rowland?" the driver said softly. "Are you alright?"I looked up and met his ey
RAINA.I stood frozen against the wall for what felt like hours but was probably only seconds. Teddy had returned to Castor's side, his hand resting on my husband's shoulder with disgusting familiarity."Now," Castor said, checking his watch like nothing had happened, "we have the Cameron Foundatio
RAINAMy husband loves them small.The smaller you are, the bigger his desire.I knew this because he'd told me several times in the two-month courtship we had. I'm petite myself, just five feet two inches, so I thought he meant me. How stupid I was.We've been married for a month and immediately
RAINAThe next day the hotel checkout was simple.The week has finally come to an end, so did my Honeymoon.I left the suite at ten in the morning, the same way I'd done everything that week. Alone. The bellhop carried my suitcases down to the lobby. The front desk thanked me for staying with them.







