Chapter 6

His eyes are straightly looking into mine. I can feel how deep his breath is. Why is he this close?!

"Hey what are you doing?"

 That is the only thing that I think of to make him stop from doing whatever bad intention he is thinking of doing to me.  I unconsciously block his body who's getting closer to mine.  I can feel how my hand holds his chest as he tried to corner me into the bookshelf. You can hear how some of the books fall in the ground as I hit it. I tried to grab something that is behind me but to my surprise, it even make me fall. 

I am not sure whether I should be lucky that he is holding my hands which makes me stay on foot. 

What is he thinking?? I don't know...

My gaze locked in his.

 Madison keep your cool. Don't get distracted by his face! Surely... he is handsome but... don't! Don't look!

Why does he look so much different than he is yesterday? Is it because he is in his casual clothes? Even so... Why am I acting like this? It is not that it was ages ago since I last interact with a man! Setting that aside, is he even a man? I mean a real human man? Wait what? Even I get disturbed by how it sounds...

Still... with that much time to waste my mind thinking...

I didn't even have a chance to think of anything that I can do to get him away from me. I thought I am strong enough yet I can't even make this damn weirdo get out of me!

I gulp. Why isn't he saying anything? His eyes are straightly looking into my lips. It was as if he wanted to kiss me. This man... I thought he make things clear?? I thought he doesn't have feelings for me? Ah! Man is such a liar!

"Hey! Get off me! You-"

Damn

I was so surprised when something started to touch my nose. I close my eyes thinking that he will kiss me again just like what he did when we were in the church for the wedding ceremony. 

Is that his nose? Who is touching mine??? I wanted to know if it really is that but then... I... don't seem to have the courage to know that fact. 

He took my first kiss. My very first kiss!

I never had someone to like. I can say that I started to hate people. I don't believe in others. The only one I can believe of is myself and me alone. The only one that I can give my trust to is no one but me!

Still, I should be acting with my own reflexes right now. I should have been kicking the hell out of him, why aren't my legs moving??

I gulp. What is he trying to do! Idiot! I will freakin slap- ahh I forgot I can't move my arm! I open my eyes. Glaring at him, anger started to disperse in my system. 

I opened my mouth. Thinking that I must say something but in the end... I just close it. 

He finally let go of my hand. Which makes me fall to the ground. I never knew I am as weak as this. Even with this mental strength of mine, my feet give in. Hah, I hate it. I feel useless. I want to curse him. Yell at him. Yet...

Why can't I do something like that?

'A good girl won't say bad words to others. You can yell but, Madison... mommy will be hurt if I hear. Bad words coming out from your beautiful lips. The only thing that can escape this is... beautiful songs... aren't I right?'

I look down in the grown. 

Why am I still stuck in those words... is it a curse? 

I tried to look at Gavin. He is still standing in front of me. Even so, he turns his back at me. I can't fully see his face. This idiot. What the hell does he want? I sing for him and yet... ahhh I shouldn't have done that.

I always make the wrong decision. 

Hearing him clear his throat, I avoided his gaze. As much as I wanted to stand up. Not now. Not in front of him. It would be good if he thought that I am a fragile lady who might break if he touched me wrongly. Surely he wouldn't wish to be widowed this early. Would he?

"You can stroll around this area but do not enter the locked rooms. It is beyond the boundaries you can take"

A tap coming from his feet can be heard. He isn't wearing comfortable slippers even though he is in the mansion. I wonder why. 

And so, he left. He didn't even bother to look at me and listen to what my response is. How... rude. 

So what should I do now? I get up as soon as I make sure that he is no longer here. I use my hands as I tidied up my dress who has wrinkled because of what happened earlier. Clapping my hands, I tried to remove the dirt in it. I did that even if I can't see any dirt or small uneasiness on it. I don't know I just wanted to be sure. Doing this would make me feel at ease.

Looking at the pile of books felll because of the impact I did when I hit the shelves, one by one I pick it up and bring it back to the place where they might came from. I don't even bother checking whether they are supposed to be there or not. It wasn't my fault in the first place that they were knocked off the grounds. As long as they are still here, there is nothing to be worried about. 

I look for the book diary I have with me a while ago but...

"I wonder where I put that book..."