Chapter 01

AVERY

“ We shouldn’t be out here. Let’s just go back, Princess. If your brother, the King finds out we sneaked out and ended up here, we will be so dead. ” My friend and helper Renee whispers in my ear.

I shake my head and shoot her a glare. “ What did I tell you before, Renee? ”

Her dull blue eyes move towards the building in front of us before she looks back at me, “ You told me to call you Ava when we are out. ”

“ Yes, that’s right! Tonight, I am just Ava. ” I point my forefinger at her. To my surprise, I see two fingers instead of one.

Perhaps, all the alcohol is finally kicking in.

“ Ava. ” I mumble, and lower my finger to avoid the embarrassing state of my mind. “ let’s—let’s just go inside. ”

It’s a big mistake. A small voice in my head keeps whispering but I can not pay attention to that.

When your heart is crushed and your spirits are beaten down, maybe, you simply can’t bring yourself to care about anything else. That’s what must be happening to me. I don’t seem to give a damn about anything.

“ This place is not for noble people, Ava. ” Renee says softly, still trying to persuade me to go back to the place I call home when it feels more like hell.

Ignoring her, I stagger towards the entrance of the shady building. The two guards standing outside push the doors open for us without asking any questions. Renee is hot on my tail, refusing to let me alone for a moment.

I hate this. People always have to follow me everywhere. It feels like I was not born alone, but with several shadows that cling to me at all times. If I am to be happy, they watch me smile. If I want to cry, I have to let them see me. If I have a breakdown like any other person, they are always there to witness it.

That’s why my mother made me learn the most important lessons of life as a royal.

Royals never cry, never show weakness, never break down. Love is not for us. Hate is not for us. Emotions, with all their variations, are not for people like us.

As for me, I am the lowest of even those royals. I am a spare Princess of a Kingdom that doesn’t need me. Daughters are mere means to gain potential allies, and that’s what I had always been.

“ Princ— ” Renee pauses before glancing around the noisy space that is filled with people everywhere.

I scan the surroundings just like her. My gaze lingers a little longer on the girls dancing around poles in the middle and then at the groups of men sitting at different tables.

“ This is disgusting, Ava. ” She sighs, voicing her opinion.

“ I know right? ” I shake my drowsy head and stumble to the nearest empty table.

The ear-piercing music overpowers the other voices, giving me the chance to silence the storm brewing inside me.

“ This is not the way to solve problems. ” She scoots closer to me and holds my hand.

“ Who said…I am solving problems? ” I huff, turning to the waiter who approaches us fast. Without saying a word, he places a bottle of alcohol and two glasses in front of us. As silently as he approaches, he leaves after he is done.

I eye the bottle sitting on the table, calling out to me. I already had five bottles. It’s enough to knock down a normal werewolf but as a Lycan Princess, I have higher tolerance.

I open the lid and pour the amber liquid into the golden glass while Renee pokes my arm.

“ We can take this and leave. This place is not good for us, Ava. What if someone recognizes you? ” Her voice is filled with fear.

“ How will someone recognize me? ” I chuckle, picking up the glass. “ Don’t you know how my brother kept me caged behind the walls my whole life? The Kingdom knows there is a Princess but they don’t know what she looks like. ”

“ He was only trying to protect you. ” Renee reasons and snatches my glass before I can drink more.

“ Protect me? ” My chest tightens at the thought. “ Does locking someone between four walls count as protecting them? Does…ignoring someone until they believe they are invisible count as protection to you, Renee? ”

Instead of running her mouth, she stares at me and does so until I get irritated by the pitiful look in her eyes. All these people ever do is pity me when I am crying, when I am breaking down, when I am roaming from one corner of the castle to the other like a ghost.

They see me, but they don’t ever…approach me. With so many shadows around me, I am still alone

“ Ava. ” She places the filled glass on the other side of the table so I can’t reach it and turns to me.

“ I thought Tyson would mate with me and finally, I will be free. At least, he won’t pretend I don’t exist. He will never turn a blind eye to my suffering. He has always been sensitive to other’s pain, right? ” A self-mocking smile curls my lips.

“ Amelia is his fated mate, Ava. When it comes to her, he couldn’t…just… ”

“ Choose me. ” My throat clogs with different emotions.

But I wanted him to choose me. I was engaged to him for my whole life. If he could only say, even if he didn’t mean it, that he wanted to choose me over his fated mate instead of abandoning me for her, maybe…

Just maybe, my heart won’t be breaking like this.

“ He said he never felt anything for me. ” My voice lowers until I can barely hear it over the loud music and sounds of cheers.

“ He does care about you, Ava. ” Renee grabs my cold hand between her warm palms and gives it a light squeeze.

“ But he doesn’t want me. ” I look down at her hands that are holding mine. “ I am sick of it…people always tell me they care about me but they don’t care enough to choose me. ”

That’s all I ever wanted, for someone to choose me over everyone else. For once, I want to be someone they prioritize instead of telling me that they care but not enough to give up something for me.

“ You have someone better in your fate, Ava. Believe me. You are a good person. One day you will be rewarded— ”

“ I am good, but not good enough for anyone. And what choice, Renee? Don’t you remember? My brother decided my future mate for me just last night. ” I pull my hand away. I don’t need her warmth anymore.

“ Ava. Your brother…has your best interest at heart. You know he loves you. ” Her eyes brim with tears but she doesn’t let them fall.

Silently, I reach out and grab the glass she pulled away before. In a single go, I down the liquid. My throat burns and so do my eyes but I can’t stop drinking. I must knock myself out tonight or else, I might end up losing my mind.

“ Best interest? ” After drinking two more shots, I turn to Renee and giggle. “ really? My brother doesn’t care Renee. He just wants to form an alliance with the enemy Kingdom, the South and so he has decided that it’s best to make me become the King’s woman. That way, Aleister Anasazi will be our ally in the war against vampires and humans as long as I remain by his side obediently. ”

Faced with the bitter reality, she releases a defeated breath and looks away momentarily. My smile falls and a frown takes its place.

“ I didn’t even recover from the previous mate they decided for me. And in a day, I have a new suitor. How ironic. ” I say bitterly and shift my focus to the amber liquid.

Renee doesn’t try to stop me this time because she knows how true I am. In a single week, my fiancé mated with another woman and my brother announced my matrimonial with another King. He only cares about strengthening our Kingdom and winning the war agaisnt the vampires and humans that have been attacking us since forever. If he has to send me to an enemy Kingdom, completely alone and at the mercy of the enemy, he will do it for the alliance.

See? My brother does care about me. But just not enough to choose me over the Kingdom. There is and always has been something or someone better than me in other’s eyes. I am not worth the trouble of giving up on things that others desire the most.

Without Renee’s interruption, I drown my sorrows in alcohol. The burn mingles with the lump in my throat and I can finally breathe without feeling as if I am going to wail any moment.

There are so many thoughts in my head. The people closest to me have all chosen the things most precious to them and in this circle, I don’t know where I stand because I don’t have any freedom of choosing anything or anyone.

I don’t notice when my vision blurs or my hands start trembling. The music becomes a thrum in my veins that makes me laugh to myself. All my senses heighten, brightening the world around me.

Everything is happening so slowly and it feels like the world is finally spinning.

“ I wish the world just comes to an end. ” I grin, dropping my forehead on the dirty table.

“ Ava. ” I feel a pair of hands pulling at my shoulder to pick me up but I can’t bring myself to pay attention.

At last, I am free. I am not Princess Avery Landric of the Kingdom of North. I am Ava—a girl who can get drunk, and pretend that the world is a happy place.

Suddenly, my sharp senses tune into an enticing scent. My nerves light up as electric currents run down my body. Shuddering, I pick up my head and look around the messy place that is still spinning.

Chasing the scent, my gaze pauses on the back of the man sitting alone in the far right corner of the bar. The hypnotizing scent draws me to him and in a daze, I shrug off Renee and stagger towards him.