"Marry me, Cassidy."
I looked at him dumbfounded.
"What the fuck?"
Naiinis na tiningnan ko siya. The heck, binuo niya pa talaga ang pagtawag sa akin ng gano'n?! And did I just... h-heard him right?
"Marry me," ulit niya. "You're pregnant right? Ba't mo tinago sa--"
"No," matigas na sabi ko habang sinusubukang ipanatag ang aking paghinga. My heart was beating harder but that doesn't remove the searing pain I'm starting to feel.
I looked at him. He was studying me, so I held my head up high.
How I wish I could say yes to him. How I wish he could be the man waiting for me in aisle. How I wish I can welcome him again. I've been leaving my walls down for him but that only left my heart unguarded. Vulnerable.
I let him in so deep it caused me wounds of pain that keeps bleeding everytime I remember who I was to him.That at the end of the day, I'm not the first on his list.
Should I settle for that? I smiled bitterly. I felt myself tearing up kaya umayos ako ng tayo. I won't shed tears in front of him. But avoiding to cry cause pain in my heart and my mind.
God, akala ko ba tapos na 'to?
"But--"
"I'm leaving," putol ko dahil ano mang oras ay alam kong tutulo na ang luha ko. Damn pregnancy hormones! It's making me emotional!
But even before I turned away from him, he managed to hold me on my arms. He was still looking seriously at me, trying to catch my eyes which I prevented from looking directly on his.
I just need to... end this. Ayoko nang umiyak sa harapan niya. Ayoko nang magpakatanga na kunyari wala pero meron.
I heaved a sigh as I fixed my composure. I steadied my lips that's been trembling earlier. I willed my tears to fall later but not now.
Nang alam kong kaya ko nang makipaglaban sa mga titig niya ay hinuli ko iyon. I looked straight into his eyes so he will understand every word I'm about to say.
"Nabuntis mo lang naman ako. Hindi mo naman ako mahal. So, ba't tayo magpapakasal?"
The moment he stilled on his post was the same moment I felt my fragile heart fell into the ground. Shattered into tiny pieces, I don't even know if I'm able to fix it again.
His reaction was holding too much... rejection.
I took that moment to get rid of his grip. Hindi naman ako nahirapan. I instantly faced my back into him and smiled bitterly.
He can't even hold on me for a moment. He doesn't even follow me.
Tears started to make its way on my checks.
Damn, why am I allowing you to hurt me like this?
I cried silently on the playground knowing that no one can see me at this state. Hindi ko malaman kung gaano na ako katagal sa ganoong posisyon pero nakaramdam ako na parang may nakatingin sa akin. Tinanggal ko ang aking mga palad sa aking mata at nagulat sa bumungad sa akin. I abruptly wiped the tears away.Sitting in front of me was Zyle. Nakaupo ito isang metro ang layo sa akin sa madamong lapag. Ang kaniyang tuhod ay nakadikit sa dibdib. Nakapatong naman ang mga braso sa tuhod nito. His chin was resting on his crossed arms while his eyes were watching me. I can't see any reaction from his face because of darkness. "What are you doing here?"Kanina pa ba siya nandito? Bakit hindi ko nalaman? Saka paano niya nalamang nandito ako?"Are you crying?"I don't even know why he was asking. He obviously knew that I was crying. I have a hunch that he's been here for a while, watching me cry but he never want me to recognize his existence, so he kept silent. Because if he does, Edi sana nala
"T-terrence.""Cass?" I imagined him frown just by his tone. Maybe because he heard me stuttered. "How's your date?"Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya. "Terrence won't you really go home t-tonight?" My voice broke kaya agad kong tinakpan ang bibig, habang nararamdaman ang pagtulo ng luha sa aking mga mata."Cass, are you okay?""No." I cried silently. I was in a cubicle of a mall I passed by when I received the call...I...I don't even know what I should be thinking right now."Where are you? Is Zyle with you?""Just answer me if you can't really come home," I said stubbornly while wiping my tears away. "Please," I murmured."Cass," he called my name and I knew that he was really conflicted whether or not he'll come.I sniffed. "It's okay." Whatever it was he was doing, I knew it was important. "I'll wait you tomorrow then I'll tell you.""Are you sure? Cass if you want--""No. I'll be fine. Do your job t-there and come back ASAP.""Sure. Stay in the unit, okay?" He reminded me worrie
There are things that you'll do without second thoughts. But there are also things you'll do without thinking at all. And most of the time, you'll end up regretting doing it on the first place.I was hugging Terrence all the time as we made our way home. More like, hiding my face on his chest."We're heading in," Terrence said as we stood in front of our door. I was still hiding on him, somehow, trying to act drunk.
Napaawang ang mga labi ko ng marinig ang sinabi niya. Ibinaba ko ang aking cellphone saka tumingin sa kaniya na nakahiga sa gitna. "Nasaan 'yung mga kasama mo?" I asked with a frown. I looked at the seat but there's no evidence that someone was here. "I told you, umuwi ka na,” he said instead of answering me. "Sumabay ka na nga sa aki
CHAPTER 13Time flew fast. Parang kahapon lang, kakasimula lang ng taon. Ngayon, nasa ikahuling buwan na.Being a third year student in a university having trimestral term wasn't easy. Kaliwa't kanan ang mga gawain lalo na at malapit na kami sa goal: ang makapagtapos. Isang taon pa at pagkatapos noon, we will enter a new chapter of our life. I'll surely miss being in school one of those time when I'm in the industry."Zyle, I can't
Kinabukasan, maaga kaming umalis ng university para maagang makapunta sa elementary school. Pagdating roon ay dalawang classroom ng grade 2 ang aming mga nakita. I smiled at their tiny height and sweet smiles. They are falling in line and greeted us in unison, like how they greet their teacher in a slow manner.The program started with a prayer. Some remarks that obviously couldn’t understood by the grade school and then some lectures. We also gave them food before we started the Palarong Pinoy.