Alex~“That’s it,” he says, soft but sure. “Let me in, Alex.”I bite my lip hard and squeeze my eyes shut, then open again because I don’t want to miss this. I want to see him, every second of it.He takes his time, working me open, sliding his thumb in and out of where I’m already throbbing for him. “Seth, please put me out of my misery,” I’m begging without even realizing.He reaches for the condom, rolls it on, slicks himself with what’s left of the lube and my whole body locks with anticipation.“Breathe,” he tells me, steady and grounding. “I’ve got you.”The blunt press of him makes my eyes roll back. I grab his shoulders and feel my nails biting in, the stretch burning and perfect. Inch by inch, he feeds it to me, rocking shallow, patient, until he’s buried deep.“Fuck.” I choke out, the word ragged. “Seth.”He drops his forehead against mine, sweat already slicking his skin, and stays still, giving me time, giving me breath. The ache shifts, sharp to full, full to need. I no
Alex~“Alex! Seth!” We hear our names and turn to see who had called.Jordan walks towards us, waving us down with a stack of notes in his hand, two other media kids hovering behind him with tripods and heavy backpacks. Seth groans under his breath besides me but changes course anyway, dragging me along with him like he already knows resistance is useless.Jordan who looks like he’s been running on coffee fumes for three days, give us a razor sharp grin. “Perfect timing you two. We’re lining up couples for a Valentine’s feature — Love on Campus. We need photos, interviews, whole sprea, you name it and you two would be perfect.”I blink. “It’s November Jordan.”He waves a hand flippantly . “Magazines plan ahead. We need everything taped now so it’s polished and ready for February. It’ll only take a few minutes.”I don’t even have time to answer.“Yeah,” Seth says smoothly. “We’re in.”Jordan beams like he just won a Pulitzer. “Knew I could count on you. I’ll email you the details toni
Alex~The locker room goes quiet the second Seth steps in.Not silent, quiet, because the showers still run in the background and the sound of wet feet slaps the tiles still happen but no one talks anymore.Suddenly I catch myself understanding his earlier question. Seth however doesn’t act like any of this has affected him and continues his walk into the room like he hasn’t been missing from the space for weeksHis duffel slides off his shoulder and lands on the bench with a soft thud but doesn’t look around. He doesn’t need to to knowing that they’re all watching.I hang back at the door and watch the scene unfold, leaning against the frame. Nobody’s paying me any mind as they’re all focused on him. Seth pulls off his hoodie, folds it and sets it on top of his bag. His movements are steady, deliberate, but I can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands don’t quite relax but they don’t shake. I don’t want to be in his shoes right now.A couple guys glance at each other. N
Alex~Seth’s not himself.He wants me to believe it’s just another day, but the truth bleeds out in the smallest ways. He keeps retying his sneakers until the laces look like they’re about to snap in two, he cracks his knuckles then clenches his hands like he’s trying to force them still, his jaw keeps ticking while he is struggling to keep up his mask of indifference.I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, pretending to scroll through my phone, but my eyes keep drifting to him. He paces once across the room, stops at the door like he’s ready to leave, then doubles back and drops onto the mattress beside me, head tipped back, eyes shut like he needs to reset himself.“You don’t have to go in looking like you’re about to be executed,” I say softly.He cracks one eye open at me, expression somewhere between tired and amused. “That obvious?”I don’t answer, because yeah, it is.Today’s the day his suspension is over and he’s supposed to walk back into the gym and act like he belongs there,
Alex~I wake up slowly, with the blaring of my alarm clock and without the usual guilt that accompanies me from time to time. My body feels heavy in the sheets and anchored by a weight and warmth that isn’t mine. For a second I think I’m dreaming because there’s no way Seth’s leg is still draped across my hip, no way his breath is this steady against the side of my neck. But then he shifts and his thigh presses closer, and the dream gives way to undeniable reality.I keep my eyes closed for a little while longer than I should trying to hold the moment in the dark and make it last before light ruins it.I pray to whatever deity hovering around that after this time, we don’t go through another shitstorm. All my days after the best sex of my life turns into a whole week of going ten steps backwards after taking just one forward.When my eyes peel open, I can feel that today is different.My voice comes out quiet, almost swallowed by the sheets.“Hopefully we get a full week of good new
Seth~I can’t sit still.I’ve been pacing the same strip of floor for twenty minutes, back and forth, like if I stop moving my chest will cave in. My heart won’t slow down. My hands keep finding each other, wringing, then dropping, then tugging through my hair.The livestream ended an hour ago, but the words are still echoing inside me. Alex on that panel, sitting there with Jordan, his voice steady even when his hands shook. The way he talked about hiding, kissing boys in secret and about shame and refusing to apologize for his heart.And then the question. Are you in love?He didn’t hesitate long. Just enough for me to hold my breath until it hurt. Then he said it, the words I didn’t let myself dream about.“Yeah. I think I am.”I swear the air left my body all at once and my knees almost gave out. I whispered me too to the empty room, because that’s all I could do, because if he’d been standing in front of me I think I would have grabbed him and never let go.Now he’s about to w