1. Mr. Harold Vs Me

 "Can I kiss you?" Asked Mr. Harold, the Mathematics teacher who has been the subject of lusty daydreaming of my best friend, Zetta, and other female students.

“Eh? Nooooo!” I answered nervously. We are in the gym.

"Why?" He asked he dared to ask?! Duh!

"You are a teacher and I am your student...duh." I take it as my way out of the gym. He asked me to talk inside the building?! Huh... I should know better, than not to trust any human with a penis! Why? Because they are the real pervert. That teacher dared to ask for a kiss? He is granted a great punch, kick, or maybe slap?

I ran as fast as I could to my class. I have to climb two floors to arrive to my class.

I am Lilibeth Kolton, a 2nd-grade student at Fonton Senior High School, majoring in social studies, I'm not that pretty actually...not at all! I am only 160 cm tall, my face is not that great, my nose is not that pointed, my lips are not thick, my front and rear bumpers are minimal, and my brain is so-so. There should be no reason Mr. Harold said that to me! Or is he just testing me?? Or… a prank! Wow, if that's true, he has the heart! Note the sarcasm!

“Sigh… huf…” I arrived in class breathless and immediately became the subject of attention of my best friend Zetta Fatih whose appearance is more aesthetic than mine. She is beautiful, smart, and famous. She is also the strongest candidate for student council president this year.

"Well ... where have you been?" She asked confused. I sat at the same table with Zetta since 1st grade in high school. We have known each other since childhood and went to school together. She should be bored with me, who always sticks to her like remora fish whose hobby is sticking to sharks. It's like I'm not famous and all standard and me being with Zetta, which is 180 degrees different from me. I got a little spotlight because of her.

"Bathroom." I lied. I made the bathroom an excuse… yes, blame my brain which is not creative and not smart either, finding excuses like that is too obvious. 

The next subject will be Geography, and Zetta presented our group's paper, it was agreed that I will go ahead with the Q&A session for the presentation because they said that I can defend myself if I am cornered. This presentation is not ordinary, in social studies classes this kind of atmosphere is often created, students from certain groups present material, and later a question and answer session will be opened. Not a perfunctory question and answer session, the question and answer session is a real war session! Debate!

Based on my friend's conclusion, I am the one who could survive the session the best. I'm still out of breath and it's getting harder to breathe when Mrs. Hilda, the geography teacher comes in.

Oh, God... I can't breathe well! Blame it on Mr. Harold! He is making my life more complicated!

“Breathe in… exhale! Don't fart! Remember the fate of our group is in your hands! Okay!" Zetta said before we were all called Miss Hilda. Some of my friends arranged chairs in the front, where the rest of my group sat, not me. I must stand!

"Please start. Introduce yourself first, maximum time is 15 minutes then question and answer 15 minutes," said Mrs. Hilda. I nodded with a mediocre smile.

Zetta and my other three friends are already sitting in their seats. We will take turns explaining, and later the question and answer session will be fully handled by .... me.

Our material is about the issue of moving to the capital city of a country. What are the pluses and minuses?

"Hi guys, I am Lilibeth Kolton from group 2 and will be presenting material entitled, moving the capital city of a country, the pros, and cons. The first material will be delivered by July. July please." I said calmly. I successfully conveyed the opening sentence. My friend July stood up, and now I'm the one sitting in July's place.

All material has been delivered by us, the time on the class wall clock is still good enough for us... we have presented this material for almost 15 minutes.

"Okay, that's all the explanation from our group. After this, I will open a question and answer session.” I said praying in my heart, I hope all my classmates don't drink our canteen- hot chicken noodle sauce, so they don't become like the dragons-asking question. Harsh! Fiery! Killer!

My face is pale!

Why? Because the one who raised his hand first is Rocky. 

Rocky is the number one human I avoid the most. Unfortunately, he is always in my class since grade 1. If I may describe what a Real Rocky is like, well, he's handsome enough, tall enough, rich enough, accomplished enough, what's minus about him is, he likes to mess with me. His hobby is giving endless questions, which result in endless debates.

I looked at Zetta who is already glaring as Rocky raised his hand. Can you just pretend you don't see? Mrs. Hilda Please?

"Yes, please Rocky. What's the question?" well… Mrs. Hilda is very welcome with him of course. Even though I've been acting, I haven't seen him. 

"Yes, please," I said lazily and not sincerely.

"I want to ask. Hem... earlier, your group explained that one of the advantages is economic distribution, with the hope of boosting the economy of the new capital city that was appointed. The question is… from whose point of view? Is that from the point of view of the government, the population, or entrepreneurs? Isn't it even bothersome for a small entrepreneur? The owners of the company should move to another place? Moved his employees, and his factory. Surely more people choose not to move, so if that's the case, the economic distribution won't apply!” the way he talks just sucks.

Inhale… exhale.

Inhale… patient… exhale.

“Ahem… it's like that. Thank you for the question.” I smile insincerely. It's just a formality.

 "So, what is called economic distribution is from the population side. What is clear... is that if the Capital city of government is moved, some government offices will also move, right? Not that all companies have to move! That's called moving the industrial center! It's moving the center of government! So those who will move will be ministry employees, for example."

"Then if you asked, how much will it cost? Yes, that was included in the proposal when applying for a capital city to move to, right? If it is felt that the costs are enormous, compared to the benefits, which country is willing to move its capital city if there is no money for that!” I answered quickly at the beginning but tried to be patient and gentle at the end. Even though I'm sure, I don't look gentle at all.

"Yes, I understand. But… what are the concrete changes? From an economic point of view. What do the residents in the new town and the old town feel?”

Right… already told them, he's the one who asked that kind of complicated thing! 

"Yes. I see…” I started the sentence sweetly, but my eyes are sharp. Straight to him. "For example, in a new place, which isn't crowded before, because there are new government offices, new people, Businesses can be busier if the population is busy, purchasing power increases, in the end people are happy? do you understand until here?” I answered again.

The damned Rocky grinned instead, he raised his hand again. I've been screaming in my head, swearing all the swear words I learned from Zetta when I'm on my PMS.

In the end, Mrs. Hilda finished the questions from Rocky, and even then after 15 minutes of the time allotted for the question and answer session. He was all that wasted time! How immoral!

We sat down, and took a deep breath, at least the presentation was over, even though I had to sacrifice my patience and sanity because of that one creature. After Geography, the last subject is mathematics, I don't know who gave the idea that Social Sciences students should still study maths, and why should Mr. Harold has to teach it! I'm already running out of energy, running out of enthusiasm to survive in the jungle of this social studies class, shrinking, even more, when his figure walks into the classroom. I am the only one who is weak, the others sat up straighter, and suddenly all the girls' faces became smooth again, glowing! It's already half past eleven in the afternoon, normally at this hour, we are like old plastic cooking oil packages. The face is already glowing with all the oil, the lips are pale and the eyes are all dripping, the mind is not focused, and I want to go home soon.

It seems that the only one who remains in that state is me! Because of the others, as soon as the Geography class bell ended they were immediately touched up, all the oily faces were pasted over with oil paper, then additional BB Cream, powder, and lipstick were put on.

"Still excited... children?" he asked as soon as he entered the class. The others shouted with cheerful faces.

“Hell yeaa!” some clenched their fists up, some whistling, some applauding. While I folded my arms on the table and smashed my face into my hands. While whispering.

“Nooooo!”