One hundred and one

El’s stomach is covered in a clear gel. I wink when her head rolls to my side. The doctor runs a hand held object over her belly while paying attention to the screen. At first, there’s nothing on the screen, then I see it. A white blob on the black screen.

His finger halts on the screen, directly above the blob. “Can you hear it?” he asks. 

I dart a glance at El. “No?”

He moves that object on her stomach again and my hand tightens around hers. “If you listen closely, you can hear the heartbeats.” I nod at the screen, paying rapt attention to what he is trying to tell us. Then I hear it—the gentle sound of a thumping heart. El does too. I palm her hands between mine. Our baby. “Nails start to form at this point, see?” 

The image on the screen is a bit blurry like we are watching a movie on a black and white TV. I don’t see nails or hair or anything he talks about. I just see my boy or the tiny human that’s my boy. He looks big.