第2章

For the next few days, Damien didn't come back to my hut.

I didn't care where he went. I just quietly emptied the hut of my things.

The fancy furs he’d "graciously" given me, symbols of his Alpha's mate; the moon-grass bracelet I’d woven for him, hoping to keep him safe; the cold, meaningless tokens we’d exchanged under the elders' watch when the Moon Goddess "mistakenly" linked us... and all the things I’d carefully prepared for him that he’d never even glanced at.

I left nothing, throwing it all into the abyss behind the hut.

I watched as the small, cold hut grew emptier and emptier.

I felt like I was finally free.

After tossing out the last bundle of my pathetic, one-sided love, I turned and saw Damien.

He was standing at the doorway, staring at the edge of the now-empty abyss, a look of surprise on his face.

"Why... did you throw all that away?"

"Didn't need them anymore, so I cleared them out," I said vaguely, not wanting to talk much. "What brings the Alpha back?"

Damien didn't seem to want to dig deeper. He just lifted his wrist and looked at the sunstone embedded there.

"There's an important full moon gathering tonight. All core members have to be there. I'm here to get you."

The Blood Moon Pack’s biannual full moon gathering decided the pack's future.

For the past three years, as his "mate in name only," I’d never missed one.

But this time, I refused.

"I haven't been feeling well lately, so I won't attend," I said, my voice distant.

"What's wrong? Want me to get the pack healer to check on you?"

His tone was gentle, which made me uncomfortable, even a little sick.

I shook my head lightly. "It's nothing. Just want to rest."

"Then you just stay home..." Damien was about to agree.

Suddenly, Lyra burst in like a gust of wind, giggling as she threw herself at Damien, naturally linking her arm through his, her body pressed tight against him.

Her eyes, full of challenge, met mine.

"Selena, just come with me! If you’re not there, I’ll be so bored! Right, Damien?" She blinked her seemingly innocent eyes, her voice sickly sweet.

Damien’s heart instantly softened.

He swallowed the rest of his words, nodded, and even personally lifted the fur curtain leading to the gathering place.

"Since it's a gathering, if you're not feeling well, just sit and rest. You don't have to join the discussions. Lyra's just recovered, so it’d be good for you to keep her company."

Watching his attitude change in a split second, I should have felt nothing, but my heart still ached.

Yeah, Damien would agree to anything Lyra asked.

I didn't say anything else, just bent down and got into the beast-drawn carriage that symbolized the Alpha's authority.

Lyra sat next to me, her warm body brushing against mine intentionally or not, chattering non-stop, her voice low enough for both me and Damien in the front to hear clearly.

"Selena, you purified the Shadow Spider venom for me, so your body should be recovered, right? You have no idea how much I suffered in the healing cave because of the rejection symptoms. My head was spinning, I had nightmares all the time. Luckily, Damien was there with me, or I wouldn't have made it. He hasn't been able to take good care of you because of me lately, so please don't be angry, okay?"

I looked up and saw her undisguised probing and showing off.

I said lightly, "I won't. He's your Alpha, I'm his pack member. It's his duty to take care of you. Why would I be angry?"

Lyra seemed relieved then, taking my hand like she always did, chatting casually, but every word stabbed at my heart.

"I knew you wouldn't mind! Damien gave me this moonstone claw bracelet today, isn't it pretty? I just casually mentioned once that I liked stones that sparkle in the moonlight, and he remembered! He went through a lot of trouble to get it from a dangerous crystal mine! And these fluffy wolf cub dolls, Damien specially traded for them at the human market for me yesterday. Damien's carriage is too dull, so these are perfect decorations, cute, right?"

Looking at the claw bracelet on her wrist, clearly pulsating with powerful moon energy, and the pile of wolf cub dolls on the seat, I could barely breathe.

Damien always favored simplicity and practicality. His cave and carriage had almost no extra decorations but necessities and weapon totems symbolizing power.

But because Lyra loved these "useless trinkets," as he would have called them, he had no objections, letting her decorate his carriage like a wolf cub's den.

I remembered a long time ago, I’d once painted a cute moon and wolf totem on one of his frequently used stone cups with colorful berry juice, hoping to bring him a little joy.

The next day, he’d replaced the cup.

He’d said, "Selena, I don't like these flashy things. Don't take it upon yourself to decorate my personal items anymore."

So, this was the difference between being loved and not loved.

I stayed silent, closing my eyes tightly, not wanting to see her smug face anymore.

Lyra thought I was tired and stopped bothering me, turning instead to chat non-stop with Damien.

From the weather in the territory today to some small affiliated pack, from embarrassing stories of them raiding bird nests as kids to the special roasted meat they might have at tonight's gathering.

No matter what she said, Damien had a reply, a smile always on his lips, looking at her dotingly.

I listened quietly, but my heart felt like an invisible hand was squeezing it, sending pangs of pain through me.

I remembered how, when I’d mustered the courage to share something interesting happening in the pack, he’d always respond with short, dismissive words like "Mm," "Okay," "Got it," "Fine," as if saying one more word to me was a waste of time.

But with Lyra, he was always so engaging, so patient.

Even when we were in the same small space, his gaze would drift, intentionally or not, to Lyra in the back, his eyes full of undisguised love.

His love was so blatant.

Why, for the past three years, had I been so blind, completely unaware of it?

No, maybe I had noticed, but I’d just been lying to myself.

I turned my head to the window, telling myself over and over:

It's okay, Selena, just a little longer.

Once the full moon gathering is over, once the energy in that Moonstone fully merges, our bond will be completely broken.

Everything will be over.