Chapter 11

Laura

The bell rang at 8:15. I was already in my seat. Math. Mr. Chen was writing equations on the board. Numbers and letters and symbols that usually made sense. Today they looked like a different language.

I was thinking about him.

Not Rick. Damon.

I kept replaying the study. His hands on my back. His lips on my forehead. The way he said "three months" like it was a promise.

"Laura."

I looked up. Mr. Chen was staring at me.

"Yes."

"Question three. What is the value of x."

I looked at the board. I did not even know which question was number three.

"Twelve," I said.

Mr. Chen raised his eyebrows. "That is correct. But you did not show your work."

"I did it in my head."

He looked at me for a second longer. Then he turned back to the board.

Chloe passed me a note. "since when are you good at math"

I wrote back. "since always"

She wrote. "liar. you were staring at the window"

I did not write back.

---

At lunch, I sat with Chloe and Mia and Jess. The usual table. The usual chaos. Chloe was complaining about a group project. Mia was showing us a video of a dog doing tricks. Jess was eating a granola bar and not talking.

I was picking at my salad.

"So," Chloe said. "You and Rick."

"What about us."

"I do not know. You seem different."

"Different how."

"Like you are somewhere else. Even when you are right here."

I put my fork down. "I am just tired."

"You are always tired."

"Because I do not sleep."

"Why not."

I thought about saying the truth. Because I stay up thinking about my boyfriend's father. Because I close my eyes and see his face. Because I touch myself and pretend it is his hands.

Instead I said "stress."

Chloe nodded like that made sense. "You need a vacation."

"Yeah."

Mia turned her phone toward me. "Look at this dog. He can open the fridge."

I looked at the dog. The dog was cute. I did not care.

My mind drifted back to Damon.

I wondered what he was doing right now. Probably working. Probably in that big house. Probably not thinking about me.

That thought made my chest hurt.

---

After lunch, I had English. Mrs. Patterson was talking about a book I did not read. Something about a rich guy and a green light. I did not care.

I looked out the window. The sky was grey. The trees were bare. Winter was coming.

I thought about the last time I was at Damon's house. The way he looked at me when I walked into his study. The way his voice dropped when he said my name.

I wanted to go back.

I wanted to be in that room with him. Alone. No Rick. No guilt. No three month countdown.

Just him and me.

"Laura."

I blinked. Mrs. Patterson was looking at me.

"Yes."

"Page 87. We are on page 87."

I opened my book. Found page 87. Stared at the words.

I did not read a single one.

---

After school, Rick texted me.

"come over. my dad is out."

My heart jumped. Out meant not home. Out meant I would not see him.

I typed back. "okay"

I did not want to go if he was not there. But I could not say that. So I went.

Rick picked me up at the front gate. His car was loud. His music was loud. He kissed my cheek and started driving.

"How was school," he said.

"Fine."

"Learn anything."

"No."

He laughed. Turned up the music. Did not ask anything else.

I looked out the window. Watched the buildings go by. Thought about Damon.

---

We got to the house at 4:15.

Rick parked in the driveway. The Bugatti was there.

My heart stopped.

"I thought you said your dad was out."

Rick looked at the car. "I guess he came back early."

I felt something in my chest. A flutter. A pull.

"Come on," Rick said. He grabbed my hand. Pulled me inside.

The house smelled like coffee. Like him.

"Dad," Rick called out. No answer.

"He is probably in his study," Rick said. "Come on."

We walked to the living room. Rick dropped his bag on the floor. Threw himself on the couch.

"I am going to get a snack," he said. "You want something."

"No."

He got up. Walked to the kitchen.

I stood in the living room. Looked at the hallway. The one that led to his study.

I should stay here. I should sit on the couch and wait for Rick.

I walked to the hallway.

The study door was open. Just a crack. I could see inside.

He was there.

And he was not alone.

A woman was sitting on the edge of his desk. She was young. Pretty. Blonde. Her skirt was short. Her shirt was unbuttoned at the top.

She was laughing at something he said.

Damon was leaning back in his chair. His sleeves were rolled up. His hair was messy. He was smiling at her.

Not the small smile he gave me. A real smile. Easy. Familiar.

I could not move.

The woman touched his shoulder. Let her hand linger. He did not pull away.

I felt something in my stomach. Cold. Heavy.

"Laura."

I turned around. Rick was standing behind me with a bag of chips.

"What are you doing," he said.

"Nothing. I was looking for the bathroom."

"It is upstairs."

"I forgot."

He looked at me. Then he looked at the study door. It was still cracked open.

"Dad," he called out. "We are here."

The door opened wider. Damon appeared. His eyes went to Rick first. Then to me.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Rick said. "Who is in there."

"A colleague. We were discussing a deal."

The woman appeared behind him. She smiled at Rick. Then at me.

"Hi," she said. "You must be Rick. Your dad talks about you all the time."

Rick shrugged. "Yeah. That is me."

The woman looked at me. "And you are."

"Laura," I said. My voice sounded flat.

"His girlfriend," Rick added.

The woman smiled. "Lovely."

She turned back to Damon. Touched his arm again. "I will see myself out. Call me about the rest."

"I will."

She walked past us. Her perfume was loud. Sweet. It stayed in the air after she left.

Rick grabbed my hand. "Come on. Let us watch something."

He pulled me to the couch. I sat down. My legs felt weak.

Damon walked to his study. Closed the door.

I stared at the closed door.

"Laura."

I looked at Rick.

"You okay."

"Yeah."

"You look weird."

"I am fine."

He turned on the TV. Put his arm around me. His hand was warm. Heavy.

I sat there. Rick's arm on my shoulders. Damon's door closed.

The woman's perfume was still in my nose.

He was with someone else.

He was smiling at someone else.

Letting her touch him.

I wanted to throw up.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

I pulled it out. Looked at the screen.

Damon.

"she is no one. just business."

I typed back. "you let her touch you."

"it did not mean anything."

"it meant something to me."

A long pause. Then three dots.

"we need to stop, laura. this is for the best."

I stared at the screen.

Rick was watching the TV. He did not see my face. Did not see my hands shaking.

I typed back. "you do not get to decide that alone."

"i am trying to protect you."

"from what."

"from me. from this. from getting hurt."

"too late."

He did not write back.

I put my phone away.

Rick kissed my forehead. "You are quiet."

"I am tired."

"You are always tired."

He pulled me closer. I let him.

But I was not looking at the TV.

I was looking at the closed door.

And I was not tired.

I was angry.