Chapter 12

Laura

I sat on the couch for another hour.

Rick's arm was around me. His thumb was moving in circles on my shoulder. The TV was playing something loud. Explosions. Cars. Men yelling.

I was not watching.

I was looking at the study door.

It stayed closed.

My phone did not buzz again.

I thought about what he said. "we need to stop." "this is for the best." "i am trying to protect you."

Maybe he meant it. Maybe he did not. Maybe he was just tired of me. Maybe the blonde woman was not just business. Maybe she was someone he could have without the guilt. Without the sneaking. Without the three month countdown.

Someone his age. Someone who did not date his son. Someone who did not make him feel like a monster.

I should have felt sad. I did. But there was something else underneath it. Something harder.

I was tired.

Not the kind of tired where you need sleep. The kind of tired where you are done. Done hoping. Done waiting. Done believing that someone will choose you when it is hard.

Rick nudged me. "You want to stay for dinner."

"No."

"My dad is ordering food."

"No."

He looked at me. "Did something happen."

"No."

"Then why are you being weird."

I stood up. Grabbed my bag.

"Laura."

"I have homework."

"It is Friday."

"I have a lot of homework."

Rick stood up too. He looked confused. Hurt. I did not have the energy to care.

"I will walk you out," he said.

"You do not have to."

He walked me out anyway.

The air was cold. The sky was dark. The Bugatti was still in the driveway. Black. Shiny. Mean.

Rick kissed my cheek. "Text me later."

"Okay."

I walked to the gate. Did not look back.

---

I called a car.

While I waited, I stood on the sidewalk. The neighborhood was quiet. Big houses. Big trees. Big gates.

I did not belong here.

Not in this neighborhood. Not in this house. Not with him.

I was a girl from a normal family. A girl who still had homework. A girl who was supposed to be worried about prom and college and whether her jeans made her look fat.

Not a girl who snuck through back gates. Not a girl who slept on her boyfriend's father's chest. Not a girl who checked her phone every two minutes waiting for a text from a man twice her age.

The car came. I got in.

The driver asked if I was okay. I said yes. He did not believe me. He did not push.

I looked out the window. Watched the big houses disappear. Watched the streetlights blur.

My phone buzzed.

I looked.

Rick: "you sure you are okay"

I typed back. "yes. home now. goodnight."

"night. love you."

I stared at those two words. Love you.

He said it so easily. Like it was nothing. Like it did not mean anything.

I did not say it back.

---

I got home at 7pm.

My mom was in the kitchen. She was making something that smelled like garlic. She looked up when I walked in.

"You are home early."

"I was tired."

"Did you eat."

"No."

She pointed to the stove. "Soup. Bread. Eat."

I sat down at the kitchen table. She put a bowl in front of me. I stared at it.

"Laura. What is wrong."

"Nothing."

"You have that face."

"What face."

"The one you make when you are lying."

I picked up my spoon. Put it down.

"Mom. Can I ask you something."

She sat down across from me. Folded her hands on the table.

"Of course."

"How did you know you loved Dad."

She smiled. A small smile. "That is a big question for a Friday night."

"I am serious."

"I know." She thought for a moment. "I knew because he made me feel safe. Not like I needed protection. Like I could be myself. The messy version. The tired version. The version that did not have it all together. And he stayed."

"Did he ever hurt you."

"Not on purpose."

"What about on accident."

My mom looked at me for a long time. Her eyes were soft. Worried.

"Laura. Is Rick hurting you."

"No. Not Rick."

"Then who."

I looked down at the soup. The steam was rising. The smell was making my stomach turn.

"No one," I said. "Forget it."

"Laura."

"I am fine, Mom. Really."

She did not believe me. I could see it on her face. But she did not push.

She never pushed.

I drank the soup. It tasted like nothing.

---

I went to my room at 9pm.

Closed the door. Sat on my bed. Stared at the wall.

My phone was in my hand.

Damon's text was still there. "we need to stop, laura. this is for the best."

I read it seven times.

Then I opened the thread. Scrolled up. Read everything. The good morning texts. The three month promise. The night he said he had never felt this way about anyone.

Maybe he meant it then. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he saw me with Rick and realized I was not worth the risk.

Or maybe he was just lonely. And I was there. And now someone else was there. Someone easier.

I did not know. I did not want to know.

I put my phone on the nightstand. Face down.

I lay back on my bed. Stared at the ceiling.

I thought about texting him. Asking him if the blonde woman was really just business. Asking him if he meant what he said about never feeling this way. Asking him to look me in the eye and tell me he did not want me.

I did not text him.

I rolled over. Pulled the blanket over my head.

My phone buzzed.

I did not look.

It buzzed again.

I closed my eyes.

It buzzed a third time.

I reached for it.

Two texts from Rick. One from Chloe.

Rick: "you there"

Rick: "hello?"

Chloe: "party tomorrow night. you in?"

I answered Chloe. "maybe."

I did not answer Rick.

I turned my phone off.

Then I lay in the dark and did not sleep.

---

The next morning, I woke up at 9am.

My phone was still off. I turned it on.

Twelve messages.

Nine from Rick. Three from Chloe.

Rick: "you ignoring me"

Rick: "did I do something"

Rick: "laura"

Rick: "hello"

Rick: "okay fine be weird"

Rick: "are you alive"

Rick: "seriously"

Rick: "call me"

Rick: "please"

Chloe: "party is at jake's. 8pm."

Chloe: "wear something cute"

Chloe: "and bring rick. everyone is bringing their boyfriend. dont be that girl"

I typed back to Chloe. "okay. i will be there."

I typed back to Rick. "sorry. phone died. see you at the party tonight."

He answered in two seconds. "okay. pick you up at 7:30."

I put the phone down.

I did not want to go to a party. I did not want to see Rick. I did not want to pretend everything was fine.

But I was tired of being the girl who waited.

Tired of being the girl who snuck around.

Tired of being the girl who checked her phone every two minutes for a man who said "we need to stop."

So I would go to the party. I would wear something cute. I would let Rick put his arm around me. I would laugh at his jokes. I would pretend.

And I would not think about Damon.

That was the plan.

I just did not know if I could follow it.