Chapter 1

Laura

Visiting day.

The common room smelled like cheap coffee and too many bodies packed inside one space. Parents everywhere. Hugging. Crying. Handing over bags of snacks like it was a lifeline. I sat on the edge of a worn couch with Rick's arm thrown over my shoulder and tried to look like I belonged to someone.

I did not.

Rick was talking. He was always talking.

"My dad said he might swing by later but you know how he is. Busy. Empire to run and all that shit."

I nodded like I cared. I did not care. I had never met his dad. Rick talked about him like he was a myth. The great Damon Hales. The emperor. Please.

I pulled at a loose thread on my jeans. The thread kept getting longer. I kept pulling. It was something to do with my hands.

My own parents were not coming. Mom texted this morning. "So sorry baby something came up." Something always came up. I was used to it. That did not mean it did not sting a little when I watched other girls cry into their mothers' shoulders.

One girl across from me was sobbing. Full on messy tears. Her nose was running. Her face was red. Her mom was rubbing her back and whispering something. I looked away. That was not me. I did not cry like that. I did not cry at all.

Rick squeezed my shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"You look weird."

"I always look weird, Rick."

He laughed. He had a nice laugh. Easy. He was easy. That was why I liked him in the first place back in sophomore year. He was obsessed with me then. Followed me around like a lost dog. Showed up at my locker every morning. Waited for me after class. It made me feel seen. Like I mattered to someone.

Now it just made me feel tired.

He kissed my temple. A habit. Not a want. I could feel the difference now. His lips barely brushed my skin. Quick. Automatic. Like checking a box.

"You wanna get food after? Dad said he'd take us somewhere nice."

"Sure."

That was my answer for everything lately. Sure. Okay. Fine. I was floating through days and pretending that was the same as living.

A group of guys walked past and one of them bumped my knee. Did not apologize. Did not even look down. Rick did not notice. He was on his phone now. Texting someone. Probably his dad.

I watched his thumbs move. Fast. Confident. He never hesitated. That was Rick. Everything was easy for him. Good family. Money. A dad who actually showed up even when he was busy. He did not know what it felt like to be the kid whose parents sent a text instead of coming.

I looked around the room again. Families everywhere. Kids laughing with their parents. Dads messing up hair. Moms fixing collars. One dad was doing that thing where he pretended to steal his daughter's chips and she was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

I wondered what that felt like. To have someone show up just because they wanted to. Not because they had to.

My chest felt tight. Not sad. Just hollow. Like something was missing and I did not have the words to name it.

Rick kept typing. His arm was still around me but his attention was gone. I was just furniture at this point. A warm body next to him while he did something else.

I thought about the first time we kissed. It was behind the gym. His hands were shaking. He told me he had been waiting all year to do that. I believed him. I felt special.

Now I felt like a habit he had not bothered to break.

A mom walked past carrying a baby on her hip. The baby was sucking on its fist and staring at me with big eyes. I smiled. The baby did not smile back. Babies were honest like that.

Rick finally put his phone down. "He said he'll try to make it but no promises."

"Okay."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad. I don't even know him."

Rick tilted his head. "You could meet him today. If he shows up."

I shrugged. "Sure."

There was that word again.

Rick looked at me for a second longer than usual. Like he was trying to figure something out. Then he shook his head and went back to his phone.

I hated that I did not care enough to ask what he was thinking.

The noise in the room was getting louder. More parents had arrived. More crying. More hugging. Someone was laughing way too loud near the snack table. A dad was arguing with a teacher about dress code rules. It was too much.

I needed air.

"I'm gonna go wait outside," I said, standing up.

"Now? My dad might show up soon."

"I'll be by the fountain. Just need air."

Rick frowned but did not stop me. "Alright. Don't wander off."

I almost laughed at that. Wander off where. There was nowhere to go.

I walked out of the common room and into the hallway. It was quieter here. My shoes squeaked on the floor. The walls were covered in flyers for prom and senior photos and shit that did not matter. A lost poster for someone's AirPods. A sign about dress code. A reminder that the library closed at 6.

I kept walking.

The front doors were heavy. I pushed them open with my shoulder and the air hit me. Warm. A little humid. It was that time of year when spring was fighting to stay and summer was already pushing through.

The fountain was in the middle of the roundabout. It was nothing special. Just a stone bowl with water that never stayed clean. There were coins at the bottom. Pennies mostly. Some kid's wish that did not come true.

But it was quiet out here. No parents. No crying. No Rick's arm on my shoulder.

I sat on the edge. The stone was warm from the sun. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them. My chin rested on my knees. I watched the water trickle out of the top bowl. It made a soft sound. Almost peaceful.

I thought about nothing for a minute. Then I thought about everything.

My mom's text. The way Rick kissed my temple like a robot. The girl crying into her mother's shoulder. The baby that would not smile back.

I wondered if anyone had ever looked at me the way that mom looked at her daughter. Like I was the most important thing in the room.

Probably not.

I pulled out my phone. No new messages. Mom had not texted again. Dad had not texted at all. That was normal.

I shoved the phone back in my pocket.

The sun was starting to go down. The sky was turning that color between blue and orange. The kind of sky that made you feel small.

I did not know that walking out of that common room meant walking toward him.

I did not know anything yet..