Hurting Too

Lance's POV

I heard a soft knock on my door but I ignored it. I was sure it was one of the kitchen hands coming to wake me, probably on Mum's instruction.

I had turned all night trying to sleep. I had gone through my own birthday party like a zombie. The idea that the moon goddess gave me a crazy wolf was enough to keep me awake all night. So I wasn't ready to get up that morning.

The knock came again and I ignored it, thinking the person would go away when I refused to answer. I waited for another three seconds and dosed off to sleep.

My sister's smell was all I smelled in the house now so I wasn't ready to strain myself to get who was at the door specifically.

I was drifting off to sleep when suddenly somebody jumped into my bed. The instance the person's body touched mine I knew who it was. My wolf became too alert for my liking.

'Shit, Maureen what are you doing here so early?' I shouted at my sister the instance I got on my feet.

'Lance, I have always done this in the morning,' she answered looking at me confused. She did that every time I didn't go for training. She came into my room and slept with her head on my chest. According to her, my heartbeat relaxed her. But that had to stop else we were going to commit incest.

'Look, things are different now Maureen. You coming here unannounced, you coming to cuddle with me, they have got to stop,' I shouted angrily at her. I was becoming frustrated. I knew it was not her fault but I had to stay away from her.

'Why Lance, why are you being mean to me?' She lifted her head to look at me, her eyes filled with unshed tears and my heart broke. If only she knew what battle I was fighting within me. Trying to stop my hands from grabbing her and kissing her succulent lips.

For a fifteen-year-old, my sister was beautiful. She was filled out in all the right places like every male's fantasy. And since last night I stopped feeling like her brother, I wanted her and my wolf was not helping matters. At that moment, I was going crazy in my head wanting to touch and hold her desperately.

I was angry at her for making it so difficult for me. I knew that the look in my eyes at that moment was bad enough to make anyone cringe but Maureen was never scared of me. Instead of running, I saw the tears in her eyes flow down her beautiful cheeks.

The instance I noticed the tears in her eyes running down like a tap, I turned away from her. It was for her own good.

'You know what Maureen, get out of my room, I am not in the mood for your tantrums this morning,' I said with all the patience I could muster.

'I am not throwing tantrums, Lance. But you are being so mean to me?' She stubbornly insisted.

I turned to face her again making sure that the look in my eyes was harder. 'Please Maureen go to your room.'

'This is so unfair, Lance. Are you being like this because you turned eighteen?' She asked with stubbornness still in her voice.

'Yes. Maybe when you turn eighteen, you will understand my plight,' I said rubbing my face with my hand in frustration. I was lost and frustrated.

Maureen stood up and came towards me, she stretched out her hand to touch me but I moved away as fast as I could. If she touched me I might lose the little control I had over my wolf. No training prepared me for what I was going through at that moment.

'Don't touch me, Maureen, just go,' I shouted at her. Wishing she would just let me be.

She rushed out of my room crying. I wished I could run after her but I couldn't. Any contact could become a big mess, so I let her go and my heart sank hearing her sob as she ran the length of the corridor to her room.

I knew I couldn't sleep again so I decided to get ready for the day. I had a few things to do in the company of Dominus.

I took my bath and got dressed with a mind filled with my sister. She was all I could smell in the air everywhere I turned. It was almost driving me crazy. I knew I had to get out of the house.

'Good morning Lance,' Lucia greeted me when I entered the kitchen to find something to eat before meeting up with Dominus.

'Hey Lucia. How are you this morning?' I smiled at her refusing to meet my sister's gaze.

'I am fine,' Lucia answered hanging on to every word that came out of my mouth as if her life depended on them. It was actually funny how things worked. Dominus liked her but she liked me, so for Dominus' sake I discouraged her advances all the time.

'Thanks for attending my birthday yesterday,' I said taking Lucia's hand and playing with her fingers.

I smiled when I saw her blush furiously. I just wished she liked my friend as well. Dominus and I were banking on the fact that when she finally got her wolf she would let go of her crush for me.

'You don't have to thank me, Lance. I practically live in this house. It is not as if I can just stay in the room and not attend,' Lucia said looking so happy

'Thanks all the same,' I said smiling at her and I let go of her hand.

'Your wolf was so beautiful. What is his name?' Lucia asked. I knew both she and Maureen had been dying to know his name so I answered.

'Marshall,' I answered trying my best to concentrate on our discussion because my sister's smell bombarded my senses and was torturing me with a restless wolf.

'It was so big and beautiful. Can I see him again soon?'

'He is not a pet Lucia, he is a wolf and a Beta for that matter. He will be unpredictable like any wolf with a strong bloodline,' I said in a firm tone. I had to, I can't afford to let my wolf out around my sister.

'I guess that is true. I was scared when he tackled Maureen to the ground yesterday, I thought he would hurt her but when Maureen laughed under him, I breathed a sigh of relief.' Lucia rolled her eyes and dramatically raised her hands as if she were trying not to scold my wolf.

At her mention of the previous night's incident, I could feel my spine go rigid. I had to get out of there fast. The anger in me came to the surface and I tried to control it.

'Maureen is his sister, he would never hurt her. He has to protect her as her Beta and that is exactly what he would do,' I said looking into my sister's eyes as if I was trying to convey the information that nothing was ever going to happen between us.

I made sure I emphasized 'sister,' trying hard to remind my wolf who Maureen was and warn Maureen off too. But then she knew nothing about my inner turmoil.

'I will be out with Dominus. You girls should not wait up for me,' I said breaking eye contact with my sister. I stood up and left the house.

The moment I stepped out I decided I was going to avoid the house as much as I could, for the sake of my sanity.

I refused to go pick up my sister from school as I usually did. She had called me several times but I refused to pick up. She had a special ring tone so I don't bother when my phone is playing that particular song. I tried sleeping to while away time besides I was tired from the morning training. After turning for several minutes I fell asleep only to be woken up by my phone ringing.

'Hello,' I asked sleepily.

'Em em hello Lance,' Lucia's voice came from the other side. If I had checked the caller ID I wouldn't have picked up her call but then the worried part of me would have picked up the call.

'Hello are you there Lucia, is 'Everything ok? I asked when she fell silent.

'Yeah, everything is fine. I was just wondering if you would be coming for Maureen or if you would be sending Dominus,' Lucia rushed everything in one breath.

I was silent for a while. I didn't want to say anything out of tune.

'Are you there?' Lucia asked. I guess my silence was disturbing.

'Yes, I am here. Are you with her right now,' I asked.

'No. I left her believing you would be there,' Lucia lied. I could hear two people breathing from her end.

'She is no longer a child Lucia, she can take care of herself,' I said knowing fully well that she was listening to the conversation.

'When did your baby suddenly become so grown up? Because you turned eighteen?' Lucia questioned me, obviously defending her friend.

'You won't understand Lucia, there is a lot I am trying to process right now,' I sighed into the phone.

'Maureen has been calling your number all day but you are not picking,' Lucia accused me.

'Tell her to get herself home or better still sleep in school if she wants.' I had to make her hate me. It was the only way out.

'Tell her yourself I am not with her.'

'You underestimate me, Lucia. Have you forgotten that I have my wolf now? I heard two people breathing on the phone,' I said to her so she would realize that they couldn't fool me.

'What?' I heard the two of them say.

'My ears are four times sharper now than before as well as my sight. Imagine your sight better than what it already is now,' I explained with a smile playing on my lips.

'Lance?' I heard my sister call me on the phone. Her voice sounded like a soothing balm but I knew I couldn't let the feeling unsettle my now very alert wolf.

'See you around Lucia,' I said and quickly cut the call. I knew I was hurting her but that is the only way I could do it. I was hurting too.