Chapter 10

What I heard then, was the sexiest and deepest voice that had my heart skipping a beat but I kept my eyes downwards, somewhat finding my worn out sneakers much more interesting than knowing the owner of the voice.

I frowned in confusion though because I never had my heart reacting in this way. Am I falling sick? I can’t be afraid of him since I don’t even know him. I am sure then that I am falling sick and it is related to my heart. Maybe some heart problems? I decided that remaining quiet at this moment would be a wise thing to do, so, I stayed silent and let Jason do the talking. I will look into my heart disease later on when everything related to my new place of residence is solved. For now, the only thing important to me is having a new place to live; a safe place where my father wouldn’t be able to reach me.

“You’re here. What a pleasant surprise." the voice said with a tiniest bit of sarcasm and arrogance but with a hint of mockery too.

I felt a light breeze and I caressed my cold arms for some warmth to keep myself from shivering like a chicken in front of the stranger.

“Oops, looks like the lady is cold.” He once again talked before Jason could say anything in his defense.

Why do I not like this guy even before clearly looking at him or knowing him? I know that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but still. Being myself a victim of that, I would never do so too but there’s something about the attitude of this guy that screams trouble and I know for sure that I’ll never be able to mingle well with him because I don’t want to fall into yet another hell.

“Ryder, I -

“Should have taken better care of your woman, Jason.'' The man whose name I’ve just learned about muttered in a melancholic tone, like he was feeling sorry for me.

I looked up in shock by what he just said and couldn’t help but gasped at the sight in front of me.

This boy, no scratch that! This man, although he doesn’t look much older than me, was the definition of the word perfect. He is definitely one of those attractive people that God spent his much valuable time on. I must admit though that God has indeed done a good job at that.

He was surely the most charismatic guy I’ve ever seen. I could not tear my eyes away now that they fell upon him.

His black hair with some strands falling onto his forehead appeared so soft and shiny. I was captivated by his chiseled face and his hypnotizing almond shaped sea rover-blue eyes which I knew were locked on me, his well shaped eyebrows almost touching in the middle, probably figuring out why I’m standing here at the moment.

He has well defined cheekbones and a concrete jaw with short stubble casting a 5 o’clock shadow on his chin which made him appear dangerous yet sexy at the same time. His sharp jaw was currently clenched in either curiosity or anger, I couldn’t really tell.

When my eyes met his, I felt some jolts go up and down my body and some tiny tingles which sent my heart racing. Why do I feel like this?

The way he was standing so calmly with his legs and muscular arms crossed while leaning his upper body against the threshold, doing absolutely nothing yet, his body with nicely built arms, broad shoulders and a wide back narrowed down to a slim waist spoke volumes to me.

In other words, he defined masculinity perfectly and gave a devil may-care attitude which silently screamed danger. Why am I getting this weird feeling? Why is my belly churning with different kinds of feelings?

“She’s not my woman. I -

“Really? Then, can I have her for a night, I mean if you don’t mind.'' Ryder asked Jason while smirking slowly with his eyes narrowed down into slits without looking away. The dark look on his hooded face sent my heart spiraling like crazy.

I quickly took a step back on impulse and shook my head in frustration while squeezing my eyes tightly shut. I felt a pair of hands reaching out to grab on my shoulders but I shook them off of me, feeling disgusted by them. No! Not that, I can’t let that happen to me. I still remember that gruesome feeling when Alex touched me inappropriately. At least all he did was touch me but what this guy was about to do is so much worse than just that. Well, in my case, that’s how it sounded to me.

“Shit! S-She’s having a panic attack -

“What? Then, do something. Aren’t you a police officer? Do -

“Do what? I’m a police officer, not a freaking doctor -

“Get out of the way, then.'' I heard the guy shout aggressively in a hard cold voice and then I felt hands grasping on my arms, shaking me slowly but I pushed him away.

No, not him. I don’t want him near me.

I wanted to get away. I just couldn’t stay here. Why do I feel suffocated? I was here, looking for freedom, right? Then, why can’t I find it? Why can’t I get it? Is this how much you hate me, God? Why do I just want to escape and get away? Get away from everything? Get away from my own life? Can I? It’s just like a shadow which is forever stuck with me wherever I go. I mean how can someone run away from his own life? It is his life and he has to deal with it no matter what but that’s what I can’t do actually. I can’t deal with it. Not anymore. I feel like I would never be able to.

“What the hell are you even doing? Can’t you see, she’s barely breathing? If you do this, then -

“Can’t you see that I’m at least trying.'' the guy yelled back through gritted teeth, cutting off whatever Jason was trying to say.

No! He is too near. I could feel him right there, right beside me but I couldn’t get away. I could feel my feet hardening and I just couldn’t move them. No! He’s trying to get me in his bed for one night but I don’t want that. I can’t lose my virginity like this. Not to him. Not to someone who would only want me in his bed for a night and throw me away the next morning, like a piece of garbage. My life is already a mess. I don’t need this shit. I can’t let just anyone get into my life and treat me like a piece of shit. I’m tired of letting people step all over me and trample my heart in any kind of way they want.