Chapter 1

FAE

"Congratulations!"

A moment passed before Carl reacted to my greeting. He turned to me, finally. But it was a second too long. I trembled as I waited, conscious of guests watching us at his wedding reception.

When I saw his familiar face—my beloved's face—I almost burst into tears. But I couldn't do that. There were too many people around us—his relatives and guests who knew about us and my story, that I'd adored Carl Easton since I was ten.

He looked dashing in his three-piece suit, this man whom I'd dreamed of for almost half my life. There was no guilt on his face as he possessively held Sarah's tiny waist. Sarah, his bride, was proudly wearing her white wedding dress for the occasion.

And Carl's adoring gaze for his bride—my best friend—finally closed the door between my future and my past.

I couldn't love him anymore. I couldn't even say if I ever took a break from my feelings for this man who regarded me with brotherly favor as I grew up. He was my late godfather's son. No, he never gave me any sign that he would ever develop feelings that were more than brotherly toward me, or that he would see me as anything more than the girl he treated like the young sister he never had.

It was all me. Just me. And I was used to it. It was my life. I didn't know how to continue my days without thinking or dreaming of him the way I always had. And it wasn't on him—I knew that. But did he have to act as if he wished I hadn't come to celebrate his wedding? For all the years that we'd been friends, Carl had always been patient and tolerant of my attention. Now, he couldn't seem to wait to push me away.

What has Sarah done to him for him to act like this? I cried inside my head.

"Thank you for coming, Fae," he said quietly, his eyes carrying both pity and worry for me. Probably why he didn't want me here. He didn't want to be inconvenienced by the feelings he couldn't avoid as he watched me hurting.

But I didn't care about those. I could hurt because I loved him. Just because I couldn't have what I wanted from him anymore didn't mean I'd stop supporting him. I could deal.

My heart was crying, but opposing words came out of my mouth for him. "I'm so happy for you." That's the reason I came. Even if it hurt, I would still celebrate his happiness today.

"I know," he replied, even if his eyes told a different message—that my sacrifice was difficult for him. That made things awkward. That if it were up to him, he wouldn't want me here.

Tense silence weighed the surrounding air bubble that the three of us occupied.

"Fae..."

I reluctantly looked at the owner of that voice. It was Sarah, my former friend, because I couldn't honestly regard her as my friend anymore. Not for weeks now.

It was still hard for me to believe this woman was Carl's wife now. She, of all people, knew how devoted I'd been to Carl. It wasn't a secret to everyone that I'd had a crush on Carl since I was a child, brought by my father to every visit to his friends' and clients' houses as a corporate attorney or personal solicitor. He raised me as a single parent, and he was a doting father. To these people who became our circle, I was the shy and quiet kid carried in my father's arms to every house and meeting because he just had to make sure I spent time with him, even if it was outside as he worked.

But Sarah lived with me for two years, and she listened to me speak Carl's name every day of those two years.

So she was a different Sarah now. She wasn't timid or struggling anymore. She'd come a long way from the distressed friend who used to ask for help in exchange for housework and cooking as she worked her way through law school. The friend I took in so she wouldn’t have to do housekeeping for others.

No.

There was a threat in her eyes now. She was territorial in her stance beside her groom, and there was possessiveness in the way she snaked her hand around her husband's arm.

She was telling me she owned Carl now.

I wanted to laugh. I wasn't a usurper, a home wrecker. She didn't need to worry about me.

I was more of an idiot and a fool than any one of those.

Why hadn't I seen the real Sarah? How was she able to hide her true colors from me?

How can you do this to me?! was my silent scream to my former friend as I cheered for her, too. "Congratulations, Sarah," I said, but there was bitterness in my voice. I couldn't be as honest with her as I was with Carl.

"Thanks, Fae. Please stay and have a toast with us."

I couldn't control the smile of mockery that formed on my lips. What a hypocrite. I was screaming at her inside my head. Fake! But I couldn't do it to Carl. I couldn’t trash this day for him. I was here for him—not for this bitch. “Don’t worry. I will.”

The next break from all the posturing was more awkward. I wanted to approach Carl at a private moment, but that was impossible with the way Sarah clung to him. As if she couldn't walk if she didn't have her claws on him. And this was the result. With all pairs of eyes heavy on us, Carl couldn't hide his discomfort anymore.

They were our friends and familial ties, people who teased and expected that it was going to be us walking down that aisle today. It shocked people when he announced his wedding to a different woman the same day the wedding invitations arrived.

They were here, just like I was, because none of Carl's relatives came. They lived outside the country, and the excuse was that the event was so sudden, there was no time for them to prepare.

Nonsense. Even his grandparents didn't come. It wouldn't take a week for them to fly in from London.

What everybody knew was that the Eastons didn't want this marriage. Carl married an unknown girl, and his grandparents didn't approve of this.

That's why I traveled at the last minute when I learned that not one relative would back him up. I thought, at least, as the Eastons fostered me for a few years, that I was family.

But at that moment, as I could see, my support was not welcome.

Well, damn. I would be faithful until the last second, I promised with a heavy heart. Even if it was the last thing I could do for him.

I was supposed to say goodbye right after this formal greeting.

But as I stared at Sara's face, I just couldn't control myself anymore.

In the weeks since I found out about them, I tried hard not to hate her. But at that moment, as she stood there grinning like the cat that ate the canary the moment I turned my head away, I felt the worst disgust I had ever felt.

All the time that we were friends, I never had a clue I was in competition until it was too late.

She was like a snake. And from now on, I would treat her like one.

As I fought her stare, Sarah finally wilted. She got nervous about me as if I came here with a plot to shame her in front of the guests. She knew she was the odd one, the real stranger here. She was the college friend that mooched off me in law school and got into Easton Law Firm through my recommendation—straight into Carl's pants.

And yes, finally, she used her piteous mask and put it in place with those big, brown eyes.

"Fae, please. If you still have respect for our friendship and for Carl—"

"Oh, shut the fuck up. I'll toast and drink the damn champagne for Carl," I cut her off in an angry whisper. "Don't worry, Sarah. I will behave, but only for him."

And I suddenly realized something.

Carl didn't know I was coming.

He didn't expect I'd be here.

It's because they didn't send me an invitation.

And I suddenly laughed, which I cut abruptly as I smiled sweetly at poor Carl, who was still trying to recover from my outburst and the cuss words that escaped from my mouth.

I focused on Sarah this time. "Thanks for the wedding invitation, Sarah. The card is crass—bright pink?" Carl would never pick that color for their wedding card. "And it needs a few grammar checks. Oh. Or did you make a different one just for me because I'm not on the list of guests? Because his assistant or Carl would not make a grammar mistake."

Carl was understandably confused. He turned to his bride. "You sent her an invite?"

I didn't feel any satisfaction when Sarah paled and choked as if she swallowed an oyster—with its shell. I was still seething at the confirmation. And I wasn't finished.

"You think marrying into money entitles you to manipulate us around, bitch?"

"Fae!" Carl angrily whispered to me. He looked pained. "Please…!"

And I was a balloon that got punctured. I lost air. I stared at him, my eyes heating, gulping air. I watched as Sarah raised eyes that rapidly streamed tears and that repelled my tears.

That’s how she was able to trick me so many times in the past. She used to raise those same pitiful eyes at me whenever she needed a saving hand.

Couldn't Carl see this? She deliberately sent me an invitation against his wishes or knowledge to hurt me, and that was lying. He could tolerate that now?

Obviously, yes.

I felt whipped when Carl turned accusing eyes at me before he hugged Sarah to his side, as if he was protecting her from me.

And those eyes… asking me quietly about what I stood to gain from ruining his special day.

And I couldn't take that.

I turned and walked away. Fast.

As the band on a corner dais continued to play wedding songs, sober guests stepped aside to make way for me as I ran from the couple with my head down.

I couldn't bear to see faces. I couldn’t bear their pity. I didn't turn to look when I heard someone call my name as I passed.

I escaped.

But it would only be for a moment.

I would drink the stupid champagne because I promised. I would toast to their happiness as I must.

But at that second, I needed to hide before my sobs started spilling from my beaten heart.