공유

My Endless Sorrow
My Endless Sorrow
작가: Cece Muse

Chapter 1

작가: Cece Muse
The sharp scent of disinfectant stung my senses as I slowly awakened.

In the hospital room, only Lucas Kingston lounged on the sofa, lazily holding Vanessa Reed in his arms.

Not a single member of the Kingston family was present.

When Lucas noticed I had opened my eyes, he asked indifferently, “Awake?”

My face remained deathly pale as my gaze drifted to my noticeably flat abdomen.

Lucas stayed silent for a moment before letting out an impatient scoff.

“So you actually lost it. What a shame—it was already so far along.”

A numb, bitter smile tugged at my lips. Yes, seven and a half months.

Last night, Lucas had summoned me to the racetrack. Because of one careless remark from Vanessa, I lost count of how many laps I had ridden. All I knew was that, by the end, even breathing felt like agony.

Only when they had finally tired of their game did Lucas fasten the last button on his shirt and glance at me as he stood in the middle of the racetrack.

“That’s enough.”

Pale and gasping for breath, I climbed down from the horse.

A sharp pain and a damp sensation overwhelmed me as I stared blankly at Lucas, who was surrounded by his entourage.

Staggering a few steps, I collapsed onto the grass and reached out a trembling hand toward him.

“Lucas… call 911…”

Clutching my stomach, I gasped as beads of sweat rolled down my forehead.

The young men around us noticed my condition and crowded closer, their voices filled with disbelief.

“Come on, it was just a couple of laps. Does she really need to be this dramatic?”

"You’re right, Lucas. She’s putting on quite the act—I almost believed her."

"Don’t even get me started. She looks exactly like she did back then, pretending she had nothing to do with Grandma Eve’s death!

“Not bad, Lily. After all these years, your acting skills haven’t faded one bit!"

Lucas strolled over with Vanessa at his side, his arm protectively around her. His brows furrowed as he scrutinized me.

He had likely long forgotten what I had looked like the last time I miscarried. Now, he too thought I was faking it.

Vanessa stepped forward first, her expression filled with disgust.

"OMG, did you just pee yourself?” she gasped.

She raised her voice deliberately, ensuring everyone’s attention shifted to my legs.

A crushing wave of humiliation swallowed me, choking the air from my lungs.

Instinctively, I turned to Lucas again.

"Lucas, please… help me. My stomach—it hurts so much," I pleaded.

But he merely pushed my hand away in disgust.

"Pathetic."

With that single word, he turned and walked off, taking his entourage with him. Even the racetrack staff ignored me, leaving me on the grass as I called for help.

Eventually, everything went black.

When I woke up again, I was already in the hospital.

My eyes burned. It had happened again—I had lost my child.

Vanessa rested her head against Lucas’s shoulder, absentmindedly patting her swollen belly.

"What a shame, Miss Carter. Just a few laps and your baby was gone. You really are a walking curse.

“I’ve had far rougher nights with Lucas—so many times, so intense, sweating until we were both exhausted. And yet, my child is still safe and sound in my womb."

Lucas chuckled and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"How could she compare to you? Even if her child had lived, they’d grow up only to serve ours."

I had heard cruel words like that so many times before. Every time, they chipped away at me, splintering my heart.

And every time, I lashed out without thinking. "That was your child! How could you say such a thing?"

Lucas would always meet my anger with that same cold stare, never responding, as if he enjoyed watching me unravel.

But now? I felt nothing. I had gone completely numb.

Maybe it was the blood loss, or maybe it was exhaustion, but the cold wind seeping in from the window made me shiver violently.

I cleared my throat and forced my voice to remain distant.

"Lucas, could you close the window? I’m freezing. The doctor said I shouldn’t catch a chill at this stage. Thank you."

Every time I had miscarried before, the doctors had warned me about the same thing.

Lucas's expression darkened, his tone like a blade slicing through the winter air.

"You miscarried—you didn’t give birth. What’s with the postpartum recovery nonsense? Or are you just making excuses so you can slack off instead of going back home to care for my mother?"

With that, he turned to leave. He had already spent half an hour with me—his patience had run out.

But just before stepping out, he deliberately pushed every window wide open.

"No cold drafts allowed? Let’s see what happens then…"

I sat there in silence, listening to his words, just as I had silently endured his hatred for the past five years.

But now, I am tired.

I was done carrying the guilt of his grandmother’s death.

And I was done being the Kingston family’s punching bag.

Five years ago, Lucas and I had been like a real-life Cinderella and her prince.

At the peak of our love, he brought me to the Kingston family estate.

The Kingstons were an old-money dynasty, their empire built on generations of strategic marriages. Lucas was the only exception—he refused to follow tradition.

No one in the family welcomed me, except for one person: his grandmother.

Grandma Eve was over ninety, and her health had been steadily declining. Once the formidable matriarch of the family, she had been forced to step back, relying on a wheelchair to move around.

She was the only one who wholeheartedly supported our relationship.

She adored me, often asking me to sit with her and talk. Lucas, too, would reminisce about their shared memories. But beneath her stories, I could always sense a lingering sorrow.

From those conversations, I learned that she, too, had once loved someone deeply. But for reasons beyond her control, their story had ended before it could truly begin.

As her condition worsened, even simple conversations became difficult. Yet, despite the overwhelming opposition from the Kingston family, she remained firm—she wanted Lucas to marry me.

One afternoon, during the wedding preparations, Lucas took Grandma Eve and me for a stroll in the park.

As we reached a slope, she scribbled a note, saying she was thirsty. Lucas hurried off to buy water, leaving me to watch over her.

Then, suddenly, her entire body tensed. Her eyes locked onto something in the distance, filled with urgent recognition as if she had just seen a ghost from her past.

Alarmed, I gripped her wheelchair and scanned the surroundings. But there was no one.

Then—

"Lily!"

Lucas's voice rang out behind me.

I turned—

And in that instant, the wheelchair slipped down the slope.

Because of my negligence, disaster struck.

After Grandma Eve’s funeral, Lucas still chose to marry me—but not out of love. What remained between us was no longer devotion but a bitter grudge.

"Lily, you’ll spend the rest of your life trapped in the Kingston estate—paying for what you’ve done."

From that moment on, it wasn’t just Lucas who resented me. The entire Kingston family seethed with anger and contempt.

During this time, Lucas met a woman named Vanessa and quickly fell madly in love with her.

As for me, my life in the Kingston household became a slow, sinking nightmare—one that swallowed me whole.

One by one, I lost five unborn children.

Then, one day, the doctor delivered the final blow.

"Miss Carter, given your history of repeated miscarriages over the past five years, your body has suffered severe damage. Under normal circumstances, conceiving again in the near future will be extremely difficult…"

His words were gentle, but I understood the truth behind them.

I nodded, my expression calm, offering no response.

"Would you like me to inform Mr. Kingston?"

After all, this was the Kingstons’ private hospital. Though tensions ran high, our relationship hadn’t completely crumbled into open hostility—at least, not enough to air our dirty laundry in public.

To the outside world, I was still Mrs. Kingston—unwanted and disregarded, but still afforded a sliver of respect.

I let out a quiet, resigned laugh.

"No…No need to tell him."
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관련 챕터

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 2

    Just as I finished speaking, Lucas's call came through. His tone was as lazy as ever, yet laced with unmistakable irritation. "Still alive? If you are, come by the villa. Vanessa and I ran out of the usual brand we use, and I can’t stand anything else. You know what I like, right? Bring it over. I’ll send you the address." Before I could respond, he hung up. Moments later, my phone buzzed with a message—an address. In the past, I would have swallowed every ounce of pain and humiliation, dragging myself to complete whatever task Lucas threw at me—out of guilt, out of some desperate attempt to lessen his resentment toward me. But not anymore. Without a thought, I opened a delivery app and hired a courier. My best friend set down the bowl of porridge she’d been holding, her eyes red as she tucked the blanket around me. "Lily, why are you still holding on to Lucas? How much more does he want? How long is he going to keep torturing you? Does he want to drive you to the edge?

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 3

    Lucas rested in the backseat of the car with his eyes closed. He had consumed quite a bit of alcohol during the night’s business gathering, so he instructed the driver to take him to the newlywed villa. He assumed Lily would be waiting for him, a bowl of some hangover concoction prepared, as always. But this time, he would be disappointed. The moment he stepped inside, he noticed the absence of the usual warm glow of the lights. There was no hangover drink on the table, nor did he hear her gentle voice greeting him. Frowning, he finally recalled that he had sent Lily to his mother’s place the night before. Irritation flickered through him. He had spoken in anger, not expecting that foolish woman to take his words so seriously. God knows what kind of torment his mother had put her through. For once, a trace of worry surfaced on his face. Pulling out his phone, he dialed his mother’s number. “Mom, where is she?” There was a brief silence on the other end before his moth

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 4

    Lucas froze as an awkward smile appeared on his face.“Divorce certificate? What are you talking about?” Leaning in, his gaze landed on the bold words "Divorce Agreement" printed at the top of the document. Below, his name and Lily’s stood out starkly. Snatching up the agreement, he crumpled it into a ball and tossed it into the trash, irritation flickering across his features. “Mom, didn’t you hate Lily the most? Why are you suddenly teaming up with her to pull this stunt?” Anger surged through him, and with a swift kick, he sent the trash can tumbling over. “Where is she? Tell her to come out and face me! Does she really think she can just walk away and wipe her hands clean of Grandma’s death? Who is she trying to fool?” He shot his mother a sharp look. “And you actually believe her? Do you really think she wants a divorce? This is all an act! Do you think signing a few papers lets her off the hook? Her debt isn’t paid—not even close!” Lucas let out a cold laugh, ra

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 5

    "You? A woman who has been used by countless men and still dreams of becoming my wife? Take a good look in the mirror and see if you’re even worthy! “And that child in your belly—who knows who the father is? Did you really think giving birth to it would let you rule over my family?" He cast Vanessa aside without another glance and immediately called his assistant. "Find out where Lily is." Did she really think she could leave without his forgiveness? The sheer audacity! After leaving the Kingston estate, I went alone to visit and place flowers on Grandma’s tombstone. She was the only elder who had ever shown me warmth. My family had been poor - our household's savings never exceeded fifty thousand. Though my mother was ill and my father was aging, they insisted on sending my younger brother to an elite private school. The weight of life crushed us all. When I finally landed a high-paying job, it was around that time that I fell in love with Lucas. In the five years

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 6

    The younger children finished their classes early, and after their afternoon nap, their parents arrived one by one to pick them up. I was tidying up the classroom when I turned around and saw Lucas standing in the doorway. His expression was cold and unreadable. Without a word, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me outside. "Look at the life you're living now, Lily! You left me, left the Kingstons, for this? “You threw away everything to look after children in a place like this? If you love kids so much, we could have had our own! “If you want to teach, you could have just asked me—I could have arranged a position for you at a top school! “Enough of this nonsense. Come back with me. You've made your point, haven’t you?" His arrogance made my head throb. I yanked my wrist free. "I'm not going back," I said calmly. Lucas stared at me, his gaze sharp and searching. Then suddenly, he laughed. "You don’t understand your situation, do you? You're a murderer. You should be gra

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 7

    I knew he was hurting, but had I not suffered just as much? Though my name had been cleared, it was far too late. With red-rimmed eyes, I grabbed my shopping basket and headed out the door. Before leaving, I placed the USB drive on the table. “I hope that by the time I return, you’ll be gone.” …When I came back from the market, the old house was empty. The USB drive had disappeared, and so had Lucas. A wave of relief washed over me. The next day, news broke that Karen had been sent to a remote overseas sanatorium, reportedly due to "stress." That afternoon, I ran into Lucas again. He stood at the school gate, watching as I sent the last of the children home. Then, without a word, he stepped into the classroom and quietly helped me clean. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed my bag and walked out. Lucas followed in silence. It wasn’t until I reached my apartment and was about to close the door that he finally spoke. In the dimly lit hallway, his face was p

최신 챕터

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 7

    I knew he was hurting, but had I not suffered just as much? Though my name had been cleared, it was far too late. With red-rimmed eyes, I grabbed my shopping basket and headed out the door. Before leaving, I placed the USB drive on the table. “I hope that by the time I return, you’ll be gone.” …When I came back from the market, the old house was empty. The USB drive had disappeared, and so had Lucas. A wave of relief washed over me. The next day, news broke that Karen had been sent to a remote overseas sanatorium, reportedly due to "stress." That afternoon, I ran into Lucas again. He stood at the school gate, watching as I sent the last of the children home. Then, without a word, he stepped into the classroom and quietly helped me clean. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed my bag and walked out. Lucas followed in silence. It wasn’t until I reached my apartment and was about to close the door that he finally spoke. In the dimly lit hallway, his face was p

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 6

    The younger children finished their classes early, and after their afternoon nap, their parents arrived one by one to pick them up. I was tidying up the classroom when I turned around and saw Lucas standing in the doorway. His expression was cold and unreadable. Without a word, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me outside. "Look at the life you're living now, Lily! You left me, left the Kingstons, for this? “You threw away everything to look after children in a place like this? If you love kids so much, we could have had our own! “If you want to teach, you could have just asked me—I could have arranged a position for you at a top school! “Enough of this nonsense. Come back with me. You've made your point, haven’t you?" His arrogance made my head throb. I yanked my wrist free. "I'm not going back," I said calmly. Lucas stared at me, his gaze sharp and searching. Then suddenly, he laughed. "You don’t understand your situation, do you? You're a murderer. You should be gra

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 5

    "You? A woman who has been used by countless men and still dreams of becoming my wife? Take a good look in the mirror and see if you’re even worthy! “And that child in your belly—who knows who the father is? Did you really think giving birth to it would let you rule over my family?" He cast Vanessa aside without another glance and immediately called his assistant. "Find out where Lily is." Did she really think she could leave without his forgiveness? The sheer audacity! After leaving the Kingston estate, I went alone to visit and place flowers on Grandma’s tombstone. She was the only elder who had ever shown me warmth. My family had been poor - our household's savings never exceeded fifty thousand. Though my mother was ill and my father was aging, they insisted on sending my younger brother to an elite private school. The weight of life crushed us all. When I finally landed a high-paying job, it was around that time that I fell in love with Lucas. In the five years

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 4

    Lucas froze as an awkward smile appeared on his face.“Divorce certificate? What are you talking about?” Leaning in, his gaze landed on the bold words "Divorce Agreement" printed at the top of the document. Below, his name and Lily’s stood out starkly. Snatching up the agreement, he crumpled it into a ball and tossed it into the trash, irritation flickering across his features. “Mom, didn’t you hate Lily the most? Why are you suddenly teaming up with her to pull this stunt?” Anger surged through him, and with a swift kick, he sent the trash can tumbling over. “Where is she? Tell her to come out and face me! Does she really think she can just walk away and wipe her hands clean of Grandma’s death? Who is she trying to fool?” He shot his mother a sharp look. “And you actually believe her? Do you really think she wants a divorce? This is all an act! Do you think signing a few papers lets her off the hook? Her debt isn’t paid—not even close!” Lucas let out a cold laugh, ra

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 3

    Lucas rested in the backseat of the car with his eyes closed. He had consumed quite a bit of alcohol during the night’s business gathering, so he instructed the driver to take him to the newlywed villa. He assumed Lily would be waiting for him, a bowl of some hangover concoction prepared, as always. But this time, he would be disappointed. The moment he stepped inside, he noticed the absence of the usual warm glow of the lights. There was no hangover drink on the table, nor did he hear her gentle voice greeting him. Frowning, he finally recalled that he had sent Lily to his mother’s place the night before. Irritation flickered through him. He had spoken in anger, not expecting that foolish woman to take his words so seriously. God knows what kind of torment his mother had put her through. For once, a trace of worry surfaced on his face. Pulling out his phone, he dialed his mother’s number. “Mom, where is she?” There was a brief silence on the other end before his moth

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 2

    Just as I finished speaking, Lucas's call came through. His tone was as lazy as ever, yet laced with unmistakable irritation. "Still alive? If you are, come by the villa. Vanessa and I ran out of the usual brand we use, and I can’t stand anything else. You know what I like, right? Bring it over. I’ll send you the address." Before I could respond, he hung up. Moments later, my phone buzzed with a message—an address. In the past, I would have swallowed every ounce of pain and humiliation, dragging myself to complete whatever task Lucas threw at me—out of guilt, out of some desperate attempt to lessen his resentment toward me. But not anymore. Without a thought, I opened a delivery app and hired a courier. My best friend set down the bowl of porridge she’d been holding, her eyes red as she tucked the blanket around me. "Lily, why are you still holding on to Lucas? How much more does he want? How long is he going to keep torturing you? Does he want to drive you to the edge?

  • My Endless Sorrow   Chapter 1

    The sharp scent of disinfectant stung my senses as I slowly awakened.In the hospital room, only Lucas Kingston lounged on the sofa, lazily holding Vanessa Reed in his arms. Not a single member of the Kingston family was present.When Lucas noticed I had opened my eyes, he asked indifferently, “Awake?”My face remained deathly pale as my gaze drifted to my noticeably flat abdomen.Lucas stayed silent for a moment before letting out an impatient scoff.“So you actually lost it. What a shame—it was already so far along.”A numb, bitter smile tugged at my lips. Yes, seven and a half months.Last night, Lucas had summoned me to the racetrack. Because of one careless remark from Vanessa, I lost count of how many laps I had ridden. All I knew was that, by the end, even breathing felt like agony.Only when they had finally tired of their game did Lucas fasten the last button on his shirt and glance at me as he stood in the middle of the racetrack.“That’s enough.”Pale and gasping

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