Chapter 6: Delirious

“Y–yes…” I finally answered his question as he slowly lifted me up.

“Hmmm, differentiate it, then.”

I was so delirious just because of his touches, the heat radiating from his sweaty palms. He’s touching my body everywhere that I couldn’t help but stifle erotic sounds I’d never know I could hear from myself. 

“D-Differentiate, what?” I exhaled.

“The difference between romantic and sexual feelings.” The fuc—what? I couldn’t understand anything anymore because his calloused huge hands were touching my tits. He was teasing it, the way he wanted it to, and damn if that doesn’t make me feel things inside my thighs. He was so good at making me feel these foreign things.

These strange things that are making me delirious. 

“Now I think you don’t understand the difference,” he giggled darkly. “Do you want me to show you instead? Show not tell, as they say….” 

I gasped. No, I gaped. This man—he’s everything I hated. Yet, still, I ached for him, every inch of him. I wanted and needed him in all the aspects I can think of.

“I want you, Zarion…”

He smirked. “Romantic feelings involve something that is defined by the soul—soulmates as they claim. Soulmates are always in love, romantically involved. You felt something like there’s a rat running inside your rib cage. You felt like you couldn’t continue your life without him as cheesy as it may sound. Not only that, but you felt like you’ve seen your future the moment your eyes met. And that…” he paused, inhaling through his nose. “...You want to spend your life with him just like that.” 

That was deep, deeper than the Pacific Ocean. He drew circles in my belly button, licking my stomach that I cannot do anything but watch. And relish. 

“Okay…” I breathed out and curled my toes. Looking up at him, I asked. “How about sexual feelings?” 

His gaze darkened, grin vanishing. “It felt like this.” My mouth fell open when his finger suddenly went down from my stomach down to the center of my thighs. “Z-Zarion…” I clung to his chest for dear life. He was making this difficult—too difficult for me. I was embarrassed because I felt something explode inside of me like a million stars bursting within. God, this isn’t a dream anymore.  

This is a dream, my mind whispers. But I knew it wasn’t. No, it’s not.

I’m experiencing it firsthand, from him—from the man that I previously loathed, this strange man that I just lusted from my dream minutes ago.

“What are you—what the fuck are you doing?” My eyes involuntarily closed when he drew circles around my throbbing clit like what he did to my belly-button. The effect was more extreme. This pleasure is unbearable, too unbearable. It was too much to take that my hands turned into fists, gripping my bed sheet as if I was being stabbed. 

“I’m fucking you with my hand,” he replied, panting. “Can you spot the difference now?” 

I nodded in a submissive manner. “So, what do you think your feelings are?” In response, my throat just bobbed, no voice escaped from my lips. His effect on me was dangerous. He is dangerous. I couldn’t think of any words as of this moment. The heat finally rose on my cheeks, staining it with red—the color of love, and lust. And war. 

Zarion lifted his body from mine, standing at the edge of my Hello Kitty-themed bed, patiently waiting for my answer. 

“Uhm, I–I don’t know… yet.” It was an honest lie, an excuse. “Should I give you an answer, like, right now?”

Zarion remained pinned on the floor while I was trying to recollect myself. Goodness, this is more embarrassing than I think. “You know what? Why don’t you just stay here for the night? Uhm, yeah, you could, I mean—if you want to—you could sleep on my couch. The cold is just… intolerable, if you know what I mean.”

To my shock, he shifted quickly. He was removing his t-shirt when I realized at the last minute that I should turn my back away from him. “What the hell?!” I hissed. “Zarion, aren’t you c-cold? Why were you removing your shirt, you bastard—” I stopped and shut my eyes. He even removed his pants and is now utterly naked. Like real naked. 

This is a bad idea. I shouldn’t have told him that. “I shouldn’t call you a bastard.”

He didn’t smile. “I came here to apologize.” 

God, this man is really on another level. He’s giving me an answer to my question just now? This very minute?!

 Turning my back towards him, I gave him a puzzled look. But he opened his mouth before I managed to voice my concern. “And to say thank you for helping me with my wounds.” 

Both of us knew what it meant. We both fell into another staring contest. Again. I could feel the tension arising, and neither of us wanted to break it. The silence deepened and suddenly, my mouth waters with the sight of his bare skin. I completely forgot he’s wholly naked for a second. “That’s it?” 

He waves a hand to my direction. “Yeah. I’m going to leave now.” My jaw fell open when he was about to climb out my window. “W-Wait—Don’t!” 

Zarion stopped and looked at me. “Don’t jump in there. You’re going to get your bones all cracked!” I gave him a warning look that silently said that I wasn’t kidding. 

But his only response was his usual blank, cold stare.