Chapter 4

“Dr. Lowe, what's your reason for refusing this surgery?”

The man speaking was Robert Greene, Deputy Director of the Kingsford Health Authority.

The next morning, the case review meeting convened.

In attendance were not only the department heads from the hospital, but also two representatives from the Kingsford Health Authority.

“I can't guarantee that I'll be in the proper state of mind during the operation.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

Robert flipped through the documents in front of him.

“Dr. Lowe, I've reviewed your record. Over the past three years, you've performed forty-seven high-risk surgeries as lead surgeon with a perfect success rate. How can you suddenly lack confidence in this case?”

“Because this one is different.”

“Why?”

I didn't answer immediately.

The other representative spoke up.

“Dr. Lowe, we respect every physician's professional judgment. However, this case is unusual. The patient's surgical window is extremely short. If you refuse the case, his chances of survival become almost nonexistent.”

“My refusal doesn't mean there aren't other options. You can contact another surgical team.”

Robert cleared his throat.

“We already have. You're the only specialist with both the expertise and the availability to take the case.”

“I can't do it.”

“Can't do it and won't do it are two very different things, Dr. Lowe.”

The door opened.

Vanessa walked in, followed by Ethan and an elderly man leaning on a cane.

The man looked to be in his seventies. His complexion was sallow, but his back remained remarkably straight.

“Dr. Hart? What are you doing here?”

Jason rose to his feet at once.

Simon had once been his boss.

“An old friend is fighting for his life. I couldn't just stay away.”

Simon slowly made his way to the table and sat down.

His gaze settled on me.

“Dr. Lowe.”

He cleared his throat softly.

“I'm Simon Hart. I spent forty years in this hospital. Ethan's father and I worked side by side for most of that time. He's my colleague and my friend. His condition can't wait.”

“Mr. Hart, I understand how you feel, but—”

“Please. Let me finish.”

He raised a hand, stopping me.

“I know you're one of Wellington’s leading specialists. I know your time is valuable and your skills are exceptional. But in this profession, technical ability isn't the only thing that matters.”

He fixed me with a steady gaze.

His eyes were clouded with age, yet still sharp enough to cut through steel.

“A doctor's conscience matters just as much.”

Vanessa stood behind her father, her expression still cold and proud.

Ethan sat beside him, his face marked by grief and sincerity.

“The reason I'm refusing this surgery is precisely because of my conscience.”

“How so?”

“Brainstem surgery demands an extraordinary level of mental focus from the lead surgeon. Any emotional distraction can result in a catastrophic mistake. I've assessed my own state of mind, and I know I can't remain completely detached.”

“Are you saying you have some personal issue with my father?”

Ethan frowned, genuine surprise in his voice.

“Dr. Lowe, as far as I know, we've never met before.”

I looked at him.

He looked back at me openly, without the slightest trace of guilt or recognition.

We had never met, at least, not in any way he remembered.

But I remembered him for twenty years.

“Whether we've met before isn't the point.”

I took a slow sip of tea.

“The point is that once I'm in that operating room, I can't guarantee absolute focus. That alone is reason enough for me to step aside.”

Robert tapped his fingers impatiently against the table.

“Dr. Lowe, let's stop dancing around the issue. There's no policy that allows a surgeon to refuse a case without a valid reason. If you can't provide a legitimate conflict or medical justification, this starts looking like professional misconduct.”

“Mr. Greene, under the Medical Practice Act…”

“Don't quote regulations at me.”

He tossed his pen onto the table.

“Let me be blunt. By tomorrow, every major medical publication in Kingsford will be covering this story.

“One of Wellington’s leading neurosurgeons flies across the country to take a case, reviews the chart, and walks away. Do you really think that's going to look good?”

I said nothing.

Vanessa stepped forward.

“Dr. Lowe, maybe I was too harsh yesterday, and for that, I apologize. But think about this. Once word gets out, people will say you abandoned a dying patient. How are you going to live that down?”

Ethan rose from his seat and bowed his head slightly.

“Dr. Lowe, if my father or I have done anything to make you uncomfortable, then I apologize. I understand your concerns.

“If compensation is an issue, we'll double it. And if there's anything I can personally do to ease your concerns…”

“Dr. Lancaster.”

I cut him off.

“Can you answer a question for me?”

He paused for a moment, then nodded.

“Of course.”

“How many surgeries has your father performed over the course of his career?”

“Thousands. He helped build the neurosurgery program in Kingsford from the ground up.”

Ethan straightened slightly as he spoke, pride evident in his voice.

“Out of those thousands of surgeries, how many ended badly?”

The atmosphere in the room instantly froze.

Ethan didn't look away, but he hesitated for a fraction of a second.

“Every surgery carries risks. No surgeon has a perfect record.”

“And what happened to the families of the patients who didn't make it?”

“Dr. Lowe, that has nothing to do with what's being discussed here.”

“Doesn't it?”

I stood up and picked up my bag.

“Then my refusal has nothing to do with what's being discussed here either. Excuse me.”

Vanessa's voice rang out sharply behind me.

“Go ahead. Walk out. But don't expect to come back. I'll make sure everyone in this profession knows exactly who you are. They'll know that Dr. Suzy Lowe from Wellington abandoned a dying patient!”

I pushed open the door.

Ian couldn't help leaning closer as we walked out.

“Dr. Lowe, maybe it's time you told me the truth. Why won't you do this surgery?”

I turned to look at him.

Three years ago, after finishing graduate school, he sent out more than a hundred applications and couldn't get a single offer.

I was the one who brought him onto my team.

He trusted me, and he knew me better than almost anyone.

But I'd never told him this story.

“Ian.”

“Yes?”

“Twenty years ago, there was a preventable surgical error in the neurosurgery department at this hospital. The patient was named Linda Lowe.”

His expression slowly changed.

“Linda Lowe... was she your...?”

“My mother.”

He froze, unable to find the words.

“The lead surgeon was Victor Lancaster.”

I looked toward the hospital behind us.

“He's the man lying in that hospital bed waiting for me to save his life.”

Ian stood there in stunned silence.

After a long moment, I spoke again.

“Help me prepare a formal recusal request. Tomorrow, I'll explain everything to the review panel myself.”

When we reached the front entrance, Ian called out softly behind me.

“Dr. Lowe, do you really think your hands would shake?”

I clenched and unclenched my fist.

Then I let out a quiet sigh.

“As long as he's the one lying on that table, I can't guarantee a steady hand.”