Chapter 5

Charles was quiet for a moment. Then he leaned close and spoke low.

"Lilith, don't read into it."

"We didn't tell you about this beforehand because we weren't trying to leave you out."

"You've always hated long trips, right? And this retreat involves crossing the northern mountains. That'd be way too hard on your wolf spirit."

He sounded sincere. Like he was only thinking of me.

"When there's a better chance, I'll take you somewhere else. Just the two of us."

"Once we're both settled at our new schools, we'll have plenty of breaks."

He looked at me, eyes almost hopeful.

I looked back at him. The words I'd been burying for so long finally reached the tip of my tongue.

"Charles, actually I..."

"Charles!"

Annie's voice cut through from the other side.

She hurried over, phone in hand.

"Did you see our training booklet? I've been looking everywhere. It's got all our practice records in it."

She grabbed his wrist.

"Come help me look? Please?"

Before I could pull the booklet out of my bag, Annie had already dragged Charles away.

A few minutes later, my phone buzzed. A message from Charles.

[Annie came to me this morning saying her wolf spirit's been unstable lately and she needed me to train with her. So I said yes.]

[I've got a car coming for you. It's already outside. I'll send you the plate number. Text me once you're in.]

I stared at the screen for a long time. In the end, I didn't reply.

On the ride home, I opened my phone and booked a flight for the next morning to the Aurora Peak training base.

That's the most famous mountain range near Eventide Academy. The place graduating wolves love to test themselves.

A lot of wolf students go there for weeks of wilderness survival training. Their own personal graduation challenge.

Back in freshman year, Charles and I had made a promise.

After graduation, we'd complete a full wilderness trial together.

He said it would be our first real adventure as adults.

All these years, I'd remembered. He was the only one who forgot.

I turned off my phone and went home to pack.

When I opened the closet, an old wolf-claw pendant fell out of the drawer.

I bent down, picked it up, and ran my thumb over the scratches on its surface. Tears came without warning.

Charles gave it to me when we were kids.

I'd worn it ever since.

That was also the year I first realized I wasn't quite like the other wolf kids.

My wolf spirit awakened later than my peers. My strength grew slower.

As a child, I didn't understand what that meant.

And Charles understood even less.

I remember my first junior fitness test. All the other kids had already finished their round. I was stuck at the back, my wolf spirit too unstable to settle.

I started crying. Charles crouched in front of me and grabbed my hand.

"It's okay."

"Let them run. You go at your own speed."

"I'll wait for you."

For many years after that, he kept his word.

Elementary school, middle school, high school. He'd stand at the gate after class and wait for me.

I walked slow, so he walked slow with me.

My wolf spirit awakened late, so he held himself back.

When I fell behind in training, he'd turn around to check if I was still there.

Until the first day of high school.

That day, for once, I got to school early.

I stood at the gate and waited. Finally I saw Charles rushing over.

Annie was sitting on the back of his bike.

He said she'd missed the school bus that morning. They happened to be going the same way, so he gave her a ride.

I smiled and said it was fine.

I even told myself, next time he'd definitely wait for me.

But after that, what I got kept getting less and less.

Slowly, I went from the girl he held by the hand and walked beside, to the girl sprinting after his back.

To stop being dead weight, I threw myself into training my wolf spirit like my life depended on it.

If everyone else trained two hours a day, I trained three.

If everyone else stopped after completing a shift, I stayed behind to keep practicing control.

I even secretly signed up for deep-water adaptation training.

After an accident as a child, I'd always been terrified of deep water.

But Charles liked training by the lake.

I didn't want to spend forever standing on the shore watching him. So I forced myself to learn to swim.

I thought that if I just kept pushing, one day I'd be standing next to him again.

But the cruel thing was, right when I was finally starting to catch up, he'd already stopped waiting.

That night, I barely slept.

The next morning, the doorbell rang.

I opened the door. Charles was standing outside.

His eyes were red. He clearly hadn't slept well either.

"Lilith, why did you block me?"

He looked at me. For the first time, there was real hurt in his voice.

"I sent you a ton of messages last night. You didn't answer a single one."

He took a deep breath and pulled out his phone.

"I booked an extra ticket to Moon Bay."

"I know you don't like long flights or unfamiliar places, but Moon Bay isn't just training grounds. There's a lot of stuff there you'd love."

"We can stay a few days."

I looked at him quietly for a while. Then I opened my phone and held the screen up.

The destination was Aurora Peak.

Charles saw it and went completely still.

I knew. He'd just remembered. The challenge we'd promised each other.

After a long time, he said softly. "Then I'll go with you."

His voice was firm.

"Take me off the block list. I'll book the ticket right now."

"I'll meet you at the airport."

He didn't even give me a chance to refuse. He turned and left.

In that moment, I actually believed him again.

I thought he'd finally remembered.

I dragged my luggage to the airport alone and waited in the departure lounge for an hour.

Charles never showed up.

I was checking my phone when Instagram pushed a new post to my feed.

From Annie.

In the photo, she was standing at a boarding gate, smiling at the camera with a peace sign.

Behind her, Charles was standing with his suitcase. The caption was simple.

[Off to Moon Bay. Can't wait for this graduation trip.]

In that moment, the very last ember of hope inside me went dark for good.

I slowly turned off my phone. Picked up my suitcase.

This time, I didn't call him. I didn't ask why he broke his promise.

I just turned and walked toward my gate.

Starting today, I was done running after his footsteps.

He had his direction. And I finally needed to walk my own.