CHAPTER 5: Sevi’s Post-Traumatic Condition

Samantha’s POV

“Mom, your phone is ringing.”

“Mom!”

“Mom! Your phone was ringing…”

“The phone is ringing, Mom!”

I can hear her voice but it came to me as distorted sounds I also cannot respond, my mouth is shut, and my brain is not functioning due to my eyes that are eventually glued to them once I landed my gaze on him.

We don’t have a strong attachment to each other. We only meet twice and it is only for a short time.

But my heart is aching feeling like I was betrayed. My instinct was telling me that I had the right to confront them and grab that woman's hair out of his face. I am jealous for an unknown reason.

My senses got back when I saw Sava right in front of my eyes moving my shoulders frantically.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

“Yes, why?” I was startled when I responded to her.

“Your phone was ringing Mom,” she said while pouting. After she gets back to her sitting on the mat and continues to play board games with her brother.

“This is Samantha De Vera speaking,” I responded on the other line.

“Good day ma’am I’m sorry to interrupt your day but we’ve got a call from Mr. Luciano, the CEO of Italy’s suit company. He calls to say that he just arrives at the airport and wants to meet you asap.”

“Is that the cloth company were having a deal with?” From my sitting, I stand up and look around leaving my two kids behind.

“Yes ma’am,” she said on the other line while breathing heavily. I bet she’s fixing herself in speed right now.

I stop from taking my brisk walk and pinch my forehead before I responded, “Okay tell him will going to meet at my office.”

“Noted ma’am.” I hear sounds of vehicles horning in her background. She’s on the way already. I had no doubt when I choose her as my secretary, she’s clever.

I get back to Sevi and Sava’s spot. Both of them are laughing. A sweet smile formed on my lips when I took a glance at them, however, it also fades when I remember that I had to leave them now.

“Mommy I won from Sevi!” Sava was giggling and jumping when I came closer to them. She was open arms when she met me halfway and hug. I took a glance at Sevi on the carpet and he had the expression of being a cheated, angry old man.

“Sevi’s being an old angry bird man right now,” Sava whispers to me when we are getting nearer to Sevi.

Sava and I shared a peal of loud laughter. Sevi knew what we were talking about that’s why he turned his back on us. Crossing his arms and pouted.

I sat again on the mat and hug his back; he covers his face with the book he was holding.

“Come on baby, Sava was just kidding.” I kiss his head after.

Sevi turns around and gets his cards in his little bag. He showed me the card with the printed words, ‘Going to work again’ My heart felt pain when I saw the card and his eyes longing. My mouth was left open, thinking of the right word to tell him. Lost for words I just nodded.

Sava clings to my arms and asked, “But you’re going to have dinner with us, right?”

“Of course, I promised.”

I was inside my car starting the engines. I looked into my side mirrors and saw the reflections of my two kids in the arms of their nanny. They are waving goodbye at me.

I wave my hands outside the window for the last time before I drove off.

I arrive at the meeting at a perfect time. They are all in my office having coffee. This person was very demanding to think that he wanted to meet or organize a meeting on Sunday. It was supposedly a day off. He’s a nerve-wracking employer.

Maybe same as me, I obligate my secretary to join me for this meeting even it was her day off. Guess that I’m also a bitch. We exchange greetings and shake hands then the meeting started.

It’s been four hours now and the meeting was still in progress. He liked our designs and marketing strategy that’s why this meeting took off longer than expected. Not long after when I heard a notification sound from my phone.

I took it and saw Sevi’s name in front. He texts me a message reminding me about our dinner tonight. I look at the clock and saw that it was 6:30 already. I’m not quite sure If I’m going to make it. We usually take our dinner by 7:00 because 8:00 is their bedtime.

I steal some glances at Mr. Luciano and I saw that he’s still enjoying my employee’s presentation. This is not going to look great.

Two hours had passed and I was on my way home. When I got outside the building a heavy rain welcomes my sight.

“Goodbye, ma’am.” My secretary Laura bowed and greeted me.

“Take care while heading home, Laura. Thank you for today,” I replied.

She smiled at me happily while I notice her glasses full of fog inside. I wonder if she can still see me at this point.

“The car is ready ma’am.,” my driver said to me and opened the passenger’s car door.

The car drove off and Laura bid her last goodbye by waving her hands. I probably should give her a large bonus. 

I checked my phone, primarily for Sevi’s last message to me. ‘Come home early mommy. I’ll be waiting.’

I hope he's asleep now.

The car was parked outside our house. Some maids are running to open my car's door and offer me an umbrella. I was planning to head directly to our main door when I noticed a shadow standing outside our gate.

“Sevi!” I shouted in vain.

I run fast towards him. His trembling and crying silently.

“Baby look at mommy’s eye, please!” He was not responding. His eyes are glued to the road and still crying. His hands are shaking terribly and it was in a clinch.

Without any thought, I carried him and run towards our house. I left the umbrella outside and this time we're both soaked in the rain.

“Get some hot water and a towel, faster!” I exclaimed to every maid passing by. Gods, can’t they be faster a little more.

I covered the towel with Sevi and try to make him drink the warm water in a glass. When I was trying to reach the glass in his mouth, he moves his arm abruptly towards the glass direction and it hit the floor and broke.

He made the deafening sound ‘Ah!’ exclaiming the words and suddenly runs towards his room.

Without a clue, I run next to him but he had already shut his door. He continuously shouts the sounds ‘Ah!’

“Sevi open the door, now!”

“Sevi!”

“Mommy?” Sava speaks behind my back. I turn around and saw her rubbing her eyes. She’s already wearing her pajamas.

“Why did you let your brother outside be soaked in the rain?”

“You know her condition!” I did not restrain myself from shouting I was just very frustrated with what is happening.  

Her eyes are in big and she cried after. Without a word, she runs towards her room crying. Now, what have I done?

“I’m going to get some medicine, Sevi!” I shouted in front of his door hoping to hear any response or if he was going to unlock the door now. But he still continues to shout the sound ‘Ah!’ which is very deafening and irritating to hear.

Before heading to my room, I headed first to our living room and called all the maids who is responsible for taking care of them.

“Why did you let my son be soaked outside in the rain!” I was angry and the flame inside me is burning once again.

“I already told you about his condition and yet all of you still let him soaked and suffer from his trauma. Now his PSTD is striking again. This is all your fault! I will fire every responsible maid today.” I point my finger at each and every one of them. “Get out!” I exclaimed pointing outside our opened main door.

It’s been a while since all of my maids left our house. It was new and nothing is echoing besides Sevi’s voice. I was inside my office drinking my coffee and calming my nerves down. But it’s been a minute now that I still cannot concentrate.

My brain cannot handle Sevi’s tantrums. Hence, I decided to on his room and try to approach him.

“Sevi, this is your mom. Open the door now!” I heard his response but it is also the same sound his been shouting an hour ago.

“Ah,” I growl in stress.

I need to finish my presentation at Luciano’s company in Italy tomorrow. We're supposedly having a big deal after we visit his cloth factory. But now I don’t have any draft of our agreement, contract, or any plan for our merging company that I will discuss with him tomorrow. I can’t focus due to Sevi’s voice. Poppycock!

I go back to my room and think of a way. This thing always happened when Sevi was having his PTSD I can’t control him.

In this case, I might call his psychologist to calm him down. However, am I ready to see him?

Like it felt awkward to see him this time. I mean, I just saw him kissing a girl earlier. Who knows if they already had sex at the park? Gross.

But hey! What does that mean to me? I’m his employer I had the right to call him even at night probably because his patient is not behaving well. It is part of the contract.

Even though it was 10:38 already. The contract says it all since we don’t know at what time Sevi’s PTSD will strike. I had my right. Yes, I had my own right.

I was in a debate if I will be going to call him or not. Walking back and forth in front of my phone.

When Sevi shouted loud once again. “Ah!” And I also heard shattering glass and objects.

“I should probably call him now.”

I dialed his number with my phone while I was nervously stomping my feet. “Gods, just answer the phone.”

“Good evening. Who is this?” His husky and sleepy voice embraces my ears.

“This is Samantha, Sevi’s mother. He is having his PTSD now. I need your help.” Without even hearing his response I already touched the end call.

I’m doomed. Do I need to wait or not? I didn’t even hear him. Poppycock!

I was standing at Sevi’s front door still knocking and trying to calm him down. I wasn’t trying to open the door myself since the last time I do that, a flying glass greeted my face.

It was better not to force him to calm down. That’s the last Psychologist said as a token of advice after she resigns. I had hired many Doctors before but no one can handle him once his PTSD struck.

But I do not care, I want him to get stable now.

“Sevi!” I was shocked to see his room in mess.

His biting the pillows and the TV, glasses, and toys of him are all in a wreck. I walk towards him.

Sevi is afraid of rains since that day, the accident. Sometimes he had seizures and the worst case is being hospitalized for a month.

According to experts, his condition was due to his painful and distorted memories with regards to the tragedy we experience a year ago.

I didn’t even take to come near him when he throws the broken vase right at me. It landed on my arms and made a scratch. My arm bleeds.

My phone suddenly rungs. Therefore, I picked it up and heard his heavy breathing on the other end of the line.

“I’m driving now. How was his condition?”

“Worst,” I replied.

“Care to explain the root of this?”

“Earlier he was soaked outside in the rain. He was afraid of rain. It was his trauma.”

“Yes, excellent. It was explained from studies that the human brain can restore memories through the hippocampus, this particular part can restore memories and can bring different emotions that affect the human behavior…” Something of a screeching sound was echoing in his background.

“Fuck! Get out of the damn road. I’m in a hurry man!” He shouted. I bet he’s in a fight.

“In the case of Sevi, he cannot forget the incident that happened a year ago, when his trauma had been triggered, he cannot contain the painful and distorted memories he remembered,” he added while breathing heavily.

“His memories of that incident had always been triggered if he sees, feel, or heard rain,” I responded to his reporting and explaining about my son’s case. He looks intelligent in this way but that’s not my purpose. I looked at Sevi and saw that he was still glaring at me.

I look up and a tear escapes from my eyes. The pain of that incident was still in my heart but the memories were gone.

I remember every PTSD attack he had. It was like a scene flashed right through my mind. I’m starting to break down.

In the case of my son when his brain remembers that particular event, that tragic incident, his emotions are swallowing his senses. He loses control.

It is due to the emotions that his memories conveyed with the aspect of rain. So, his brain thinks that whenever it was raining, a painful scenario may happen again. That explains why he’s very afraid to see, feel or experience rain, because he did not want it, he resists experiencing the tragedy once again.

A tear falls, down my eyes. I sniff and touch the part where my heart is. It wasn’t clear to me if losing the memory of that incident is good or not for myself. Because whenever I see my son suffering, I cannot share with him my regrets, and emotions, and help him to move on.

I cannot control the tears falling out of my eyes. It’s just the emotions I was containing to keep as a secret finally revealed.

I gave up approaching him and end up walking back towards the door to leave.

I certainly know that he was a smart kid so, due to this, his brain can remember anything and refuses to suffer painful emotions and tries to avoid the causes of it, one of them was the rain. Which is impossible to do so,

I wipe my tears escaping with my hands.

…this also causes him, to lose control.

If I can only make the rain stop and never came back. I do it a long time ago, just not to see him suffer from this. Just to make him feel better. But I’m not a God. I can’t.

I also cannot blame him; he was a three-year-old baby during that time.

I sob heavily. I am not the right mother to them. I knew it.

Also because of this trauma, his brain damages the function of his talking. After that incident, he starts not to produce any sounds. There are many psychologists I hired to help him overcome his fear but all of them surrendered. I felt like this is all my fault. The responsibilities I neglect as their mother.

I just wanted him to live as a normal child does. But he refuses due to his fear.

Though, I am still not giving up on him. I know someday I will find the right doctor that can cure and can bring his old self back.

“Sam, I’m here.”

Finally, I heard his voice.